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Does it seem like it is more about the Mom than Terri?

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MiniMe Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-25-05 07:42 AM
Original message
Does it seem like it is more about the Mom than Terri?
I have seen more pictures and discussions by "friends" talking about how they can't comfort her, how they don't know what this will do for her. It is inciting the intense emotional aspect of this case and is part of what is starting all of the wild accusations and rumors.

GET A CLUE! This is about Terri and what she would have wanted, not how the mom feel. I truly feel sorry for the parents, but this has consumed their lives for the last 15 years. Don't make it sound like every judgement is against the parents personally instead of for Terri.
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MsTryska Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-25-05 07:43 AM
Response to Original message
1. I agree.
why isn't she at the hospice with her daughter?
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warrior1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-25-05 07:45 AM
Response to Original message
2. I've noticed
they same thing with that woman from Everyone loves raymond show.

Projecting themselves into the victim roll. The fact is there isn't a victim. It's something that goes on every day in practicaly every city. Someone dies.
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warrior1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-25-05 07:46 AM
Response to Original message
3. read this
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fortyfeetunder Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-25-05 07:48 AM
Response to Original message
4. Guilt-filled mom?
I was halfway listening to one of these shows with a commentary on Terri's life and it mentioned she had a weight problem as an adolescent...

Here's my speculation -- how much influence her mother had on her weight loss extremes and the bulimia. Then I wondered if mom was a contributing factor, and now realizes it then is she feeling guilt by watching Terri this way and can't let her go?
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MiniMe Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-25-05 07:53 AM
Response to Reply #4
8. It could be
I read somewhere that the mom used to call Terri fat. Of course I don't remember where I saw it and I take it with a HUGE grain of salt. Its gotten to the point where you can't believe anything you hear about this case. Faux News keeps bringing in these flakes that are "experts" and the rumors keep flowing.
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bunkerbuster1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-25-05 07:53 AM
Response to Reply #4
9. I hate like hell to pile on, but...
No, I really do--I feel genuine sorrow and pity for both parents in this case.

That said, let's not forget that the parents attempted to care for her on their own, in their home, for a short period of time. They found that they could not, and I'm sure that their inability to cope with their daughter's needs feeds into their guilt.

Again, I say this not to revel in their agony now, just to explain why they may be as ferocious as they are about maintaining her body today even though her mind is surely gone.
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bowens43 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-25-05 07:50 AM
Response to Original message
5. I think both the husband and the parents
are doing what they believe to be best for Terri. I also believe that both parties believe that they are doing what Terri would have wanted then to do.

It's a very sad case and the media and the republicans never should have put this in the national spotlight.
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MiniMe Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-25-05 07:56 AM
Response to Reply #5
11. I agree to a point.....
But I think the right wing wingnuts and the media are using them to fire up the emotions and to stir the base, and I think that is disgusting. I didn't say the parents thought it was about them, the media is making it about the mom.
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bowens43 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-25-05 08:11 AM
Response to Reply #11
14. I agree completely. n/t
Edited on Fri Mar-25-05 08:11 AM by bowens43
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POAS Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-25-05 07:51 AM
Response to Original message
6. It is about the Mom and Dad
They are eating up this attention and when Terri is gone they are in for a crash and may even become the next "martyrs" for the radical religious right wing.
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mattclearing Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-25-05 07:52 AM
Response to Original message
7. Still trying to figure out the obsession with the first-name basis.
High-school friend? Cousin? I don't get it.

Good ol' Terri from around the way.
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KharmaTrain Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-25-05 07:56 AM
Response to Original message
10. Death Is More About The Living...
Terri sits in suspended animation. If we are to believe all the doctors, she ceased to really feel or be 15 years ago...since then, this tragedy has centered solely on the family.

Unfortunately this society is unprepared in dealing with death. It's not a pleasant topic and will hit all of us one way or another...and when it hits close, it creates all sorts of angsts and anxieties that can easily flare into family disputes. This is what we're seeing here, just that it's been exploited by fundie wingnuts to their benefit.

I don't think there's many here who don't feel for a mother's anguish over the loss of a child...and this is how I view Mrs. Schindler's carrying on. She's been encouraged by the horde surrounding her and her family to be more outrageous as every time this happens, the corporate media jumps; further turning up the anger. This lady is stuck in a delusional world that is just compounded by the years of people telling her black is white and building up false hopes that most of us know are impossible, but when you think about it, you can't condemn a mother for hoping a miracle can happen for her stricken daughter. Again, this isn't about Terri, this is all about the Schindlers.

That said, there's a lot that can also be discussed on how this family has allowed itself to be used and use the right wing's money for their own grandstanding. That's definitely an issue worth discussing, but in another thread at another time.

When the smoke clears, Terri will pass on and Mrs. Schindler will finally have to come to some sort of closure and find a peace in her life. I would imagine her strong Catholicism will provide that...but right now she remains in her own limbo...amplified by an echo chamber she confuses in her frustration and agony with supporters and friends.
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Bunny Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-25-05 08:04 AM
Response to Reply #10
12. Very nicely said.
This is a thoughtful, and accurate, post. Well done.
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koopie57 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-25-05 08:05 AM
Response to Original message
13. I think the parents
Edited on Fri Mar-25-05 08:07 AM by koopie57
have been victimized as well. Some "friend" should have got them into grief counseling a long time ago so that they could understand the death process, letting go, grieving so that eventually there would be a time when they could have the feeding tube removed and be able to confort Terri during the process of her body dieing. I wonder if these friends enjoyed the trauma and being in the limelight.

Instead these parents kept hearing that Terri was still alive, responding, Michael was trying to kill her, all these things that kept their hopes up. Parents fight for their children and to see their child die must be horrifying.

My point is that these parents have lost it. Part of them understands that she is no longer Terri, just her body, but they have others telling them these crazy things, congress and politicians stepping in to save their daughter .... they must be absolutely fu**ed up in the head. I know I feel confused and sickened by this. They need some help and I bet when Terri is gone, no one will bother with these parents and there will be the real tragedy. Using them and then leaving them to cope with the disaster scene alone.

opps. It took me a long time to write this and I didn't see post #10. But I agree with you.
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animuscitizen Donating Member (124 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-25-05 08:13 AM
Response to Original message
15. Sad but true--this is the psychology of narcissism in motion
The parents have demonstrated self-aggrandizement, interpersonal exploitation, a sense of entitlement, and perhaps lack of empathy for Terry's wishes. This smells like attention seeking behavior.

The parents' selection of Randall Terry as a "family spokesperson" only heightens the appearance of narcissistic personalities at work. Randall Terry is the epitome of grandiose self-importance and dysfunctional feeling of uniqueness.

This isn't your average family in a deep state of grief. This is pathological behavior.
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MiniMe Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-25-05 08:19 AM
Response to Reply #15
16. I suspect that Hannity had something to do with the Randall
Terry selection. He has been such a caring person as he uses them for ratings and asks questions like "Will you file murder charges against Michael".
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animuscitizen Donating Member (124 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-25-05 08:27 AM
Response to Reply #16
17. Perhaps that is true
Yet I do not see the parents as victims of Randall Terry. They made a choice to get in bed with the Operation Rescue folks. Given the case's publicity, I'm sure they could have chosen other, less pathological advocates to pursue their cause. When I listen to the parents, they appear very comfortable with the Randall Terryish grandstanding. This speaks to their personality.
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