New Gay-Free Theatre Opens

[donco6]

We're Saved! Hallelujah!

"Since political figures like George Double-yah and the Reverend Phelps seem incapable of enjoying life so long as we homos are a part of it, some very savvy, forward thinking men have created a theatre company for all right-wing homophobes to enjoy.

"The Straight Acting Company (www.gayfreetheatre.com) have created a season of plays that can assure they include no homosexual themes or homosexuals on stage. Plays including A Six Pack for Sister Sarah and Women in Chains promise to leave you weeping in the aisles — a manly sort of weep, of course. None of that gay bull shit."

http://www.gaywired.com/article.cfm?section=10&id=5717

[Botany]

1. Thank God!

I was so worried that some in theater, dance, and the arts are gay and
are undermining this country.

:bounce:



:bounce:

[donco6]

2. Heavens!

It was a constant worry for me, too.

[Botany]

7. I see a groundswell movment here ......

.... No more gay
Figure Skaters
Hairdressers
Florists
Decorators
Writers
Cheerleaders (* ??????)

Women Golfers
Truck Drivers
Gym Teachers
Female Teachers who never marry but have life long female teachers as
roomies.

But the hardest nut to crack (pun intended) will be all those queer
* folk ...... Melmen, Rove, Scotty Mac, Gannon, Sprauge, Girly,
and all the other closet cases.

[Toucano]

3. "Straight acting"

That's apt, I think.

[donco6]

6. We've had that on TV for decades.

So what's really new, here, anyway!

[bullimiami]

4. well you know that is going to suck.

face it. gay people and acting go together like peanut butter and jelly.

[Pool Hall Ace]

5. So no production of Tea and Sympathy, huh?

[aeolian]

8. BAAAHAHAHA!

"gay-free" theatre! That's almost an oxymoron.

[solinvictus]

9. And now, the Podunk County Community Players present...

a stage adaptation of Lee Greenwood's song, "God Bless the USA".


Cast of Characters:


George W. Bush: Cletus Kadiddlehopper

Osama Bin Laden: Some swarthy guy that works at the convenience store, Ashnessh or something like that.

Laura Bush: Kristy Jo Brubaker

Jenna Bush: Brandi Faye Coker

Barbara Bush (not the old lady that looks like George Washington): Britny Lynn Coker

Dick Cheney: Brother Willy Wayne Bonney from the Podunk First United Free Will Holiness Baptist Church

And a special appearance by Lee Greenwood, who took valuable time from his schedule of appearing in furniture and trailer commercials to come here and perform his song as our Beloved President in Chief, George W. Bush, smokes Osama out of his hole and arrests him.*

Showings start at 7:30 PM in the Fellowship Hall with catering by the local Chicken-in-a-Box, courtesy of Brother Larry Joe.

*Lee Greenwood appears courtesy of $50 and a loaner 1995 Saturn donated by Willy Harper's Used Car Emporium. Remember, at Willy Harper's, we use the Pottery Barn rule: if you bought it and it broke, you're stuck with it.