His name was L/Cpl. Nathan Moore, and he was just 21 years-old.

[Cuban_Liberal]

Although it was late Thursday night when I got the news that Natty died Wednesday morning when his helicopter crashed in western Iraq, I had avoided going to see Duane and Amber until this afternoon. I had called, of course, and I had sent a card, but until today I just couldn't summon the strength I needed to be able to face them and share their pain; my own wounds are still fresh, and though the scar has formed, it is still an angry pink, still shiny and all too tender to the touch. Finally, today, decency, self-respect and shame at not having gone forced me to go to their house.

As I turn off onto the snow-covered street, I see what I had expected to see--- cars line both sides of the street in either direction from their house, and the driveway and walk were freshly-shoveled and salted. Parking and turning off the truck's engine, I sit and try to collect my thoughts, ignoring that small voice in the back of my brain telling me that it's not too late to leave and avoid the pain. I lock the truck and walk up the sidewalk, turn and go up the front steps; through the storm door, I can see Duane talking earnestly with a man I don't know. He sees me and we meet at the door, him holding it open for me as I step in and automatically unzip my coat. "Thank you for coming, Tony", he says as he takes my coat in one large hand, shaking my hand with the other. The house is warm, bright and noisy, filled not just with people I don't know, but filled also with the smells of abundant food and too many flowers.

As Duane comes back from hanging up my coat, I have the chance to observe him briefly from a distance, and something is wrong, something I can't quite identify at first, and then it hits me--- like a balloon that has lost air overnight, his 6'3", 240-pound frame is shrunken somehow; his larger-than-life presence isn't today. As we exchange the obligatory pleasantries and make small talk, my eye wanders over the family room, taking in the details of a life now so abruptly ended: the prom photograph of Natty and his date, the gymnastics and baseball trophies arrayed on the mantle, the one that says "All-State Baseball 2001" claiming center place, Matty's formal portrait in his Marine dress blues, the new corporal's chevrons prominently displayed on his jacket sleeve.

Finally, we're alone and we've run out of banalities to talk about, and the silence hangs, slightly awkward and pregnant, not at all something either of us is accustomed to when we're together; without willing them to, the words nonetheless come. "I'm so sorry, Duane" is all that comes out, but it is what he wants to hear, because he knows I mean it. He hugs me, and I can feel his body shake silently, his tears making a wet spot on my jacket. What can I say to this man--- my friend--- that will bring him even a small measure of comfort today? Nothing I can say will give him the only thing he wants, so I say nothing more, and I simply hold him until he's able to compose himself. I offer him my handkerchief, and he takes it, drying his eyes and blowing his nose. "I'll get it back to you OK?" he says; the last thing I care about right now is whether I ever get it back or not, but I say "No problem, Duane" because I know it's what he needs me to say. That's how it is with friends.

He steers me toward the kitchen for a cup of coffee I don't really want, but can't gracefully refuse; I'm introduced half a dozen times to half a dozen people I don't know and will never see again, after the funeral. We all smile, exchange names and perfunctory pleasantries, as ritual demands we do at such times, and soon enough it's time to go. Duane knows this, I know this, and each of us knows that the other knows, so with a look that I answer with the slightest of nods, he fetches my coat as I ease my way toward the front door. "Thank you for coming, Tony--- it means a lot. I'll tell Amber you were here--- she's not feeling well", he says, again taking my hand in his. His eyes are wells of pain--- bottomless, excruciating torment; I see, and he knows I see, but neither of us look away, because that's how it is with friends.

Driving back home, I am angry; no, I am furious. Why is a handsome young man dead in a place 10,000 miles away from his home, and why is my friend left to bury his only child? Where are George Bush and Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld and Richard Perle? Why were they not there to help Duane bear what no parent should ever have to bear? Where are these great believers in 'personal responsibility', for they are surely responsible for what has transpired. Why are those who must bear this awful burden those who are in no way whatsoever responsible for it? Even as I rage and rail and beat my hand on the dashboard, I know I will go back, and I will do whatever I can do to help Duane.

That's how it is with friends.

[Sparkly]

1. Heartbreaking

Beautifully written and terribly sad.

[Cuban_Liberal]

5. Thank you.

[LIBERALNAVYVET]

53. I'm so sorry

[Cuban_Liberal]

82. Thank you.

[Swede]

2. Wow,just wow.

I'm so sorry CL.

[Cuban_Liberal]

6. Thank you.

[aquart]

3. What a friend does, my mother said, is let them talk.

When everyone else is bored to death with hearing old stories told over and over, because there will never be new stories now, a friend will listen again.

So I did. So will you.

Because that's all there is to do.

And it sucks.

[Cuban_Liberal]

8. All you can do is be there.

He was there for me when I needed him, so I'll be there for him, because he needs me now.

[aquart]

37. Yup.

It doesn't feel like enough but it is.

And when it was my turn, I don't remember who it was who hugged me, I just remember how grateful I was for those hugs.

You are so lucky to have each other.

[Cuban_Liberal]

83. I don't remember everyone who was there, either.

Duane was there for me when I needed him, so now I have to be there for him, because he needs me.

[DODI]

4. My heart and prayers are with his family and all the families

who have suffered such pain.

[Cuban_Liberal]

9. Amen.

[babylonsister]

7. Thank you for your tribute.

So heartfelt and sad. May you be an ongoing comfort to your friends. My heart bleeds for them and you.

[Cuban_Liberal]

10. You're welcome.

Thanks.

[BrklynLiberal]

11. There are no words...

Friends can offer nothing more than shoulders, and tears.

[Cuban_Liberal]

13. True.

I have both.

[LibertyorDeath]

12. I am furious I never met Nathan Moore but I am Furious!

This insanity has got to stop!



My sincere condolences to Nathan's family & to you.

[Cuban_Liberal]

14. Thank you.

[salin]

15. My heart goes out to this family

and all who loved this young man.

Remember when bush claimed that he took war seriously, because it was he who had to hug the families... I wish he really did have to call each family personally. Maybe the frequency of those calls, and the anguish met by those calls would penetrate his bubble and drive home the gravity of his actions/decisions.

[Cuban_Liberal]

18. Bush has never had to face the consequences of his actions

I despise the gibbering fool!

[welshTerrier2]

16. thanks, CL ...

you know, we fight so hard over policies and politics and candidates ... we know we're talking about real people and real life but our battles take place beyond the individuals, beyond the families and beyond real life ...

there a sort of abstraction to it all ... it's not that we don't know that people are being chewed up by all this evil; we do ...

but posts like your smack us around just enough to keep it real ... thanks so much for posting this ... what a tragic loss; what a total waste of a good human being ...

[Cuban_Liberal]

19. We owe it to ouselves to 'keep it real'

It is easy to let all of this become an abstract discussion, and we must never permit ourselves to be so distant or detached. Each of those Marines who died Wednesday had a name and a family and a life story, as do the almost 1400 others who have died in Iraq and the tens of thousands who have been wounded in Iraq and the almost two-hundred-thousand whose lives have been disrupted by the Iraq war.

[TahitiNut]

17. .

[Cuban_Liberal]

20. Thanks.

[ashmanonar]

21. it's strange...

i probably know someone like Nathan Moore, or maybe he was a lot like me. just a kid, no more than 20 or 22. right about my age. and it's sad...no, terrible to know that i will NEVER know Nathan Moore. i would have liked to have met him.

this kind of thing reaches across all emotional barriers to strike us with fresh wounds, at every death we hear about. we realize that these are people just like we know, even if we did not know the person who died. i have a friend who will probably be going over there sooner or later, (he got deferred on a medical, but who knows?) and it's horrible to think of the fact that this person that i never knew is probably a lot like me and my friend and everyone i know...

the neocons are going down. i don't know how, i don't know when, but they are gonna fall hard. and make a goddamn crater when they do.

[Cuban_Liberal]

24. They all have names, and families, and friends...

Tell your friend how much he means to you--- today, if you can.

[matcom]

22. fuck

i am so sorry

fuck

[Cuban_Liberal]

25. Exactly.

Thanks.

[GoldenOldie]

52. "It's not that good." - I strongly disagree

You have voiced so simply and eloquently what is happening throughout America. There have been 15-deaths in my town. I personally knew one of them and although I have not lost one of my own, and cannot make and would not make the comparison, I felt these same feelings as I entered the home of his mother,father, wife and 3-day old baby. He also was 22-years old and his name was Jeff. This young man was one that became a friend upon first meeting. He had just re-enlisted because they discovered they were to have their first child and they would be without insurance to cover the pregnancy and delivery. He was also enlisting the help of his family and friends in collecting soccer balls, etc., for the children of Iraq.

My local news just reported another death today....22 years old, died in helocopter crash.

I worry also because my grandson will be 18 and he plans on attending college with the help of an ROTC scholarship. I see my grandson in each of these losses.

Thank you. It's what every American needs to hear and it needs repeating until all understand the tragic loss.

[Misunderestimator]

23. Nicely written, Tony...

and very heartbreaking...

[Cuban_Liberal]

26. Thank you.

It's too sad for words, but I had to write about it.

[nostamj]

27. damn! and so soon after your family's loss....

there really are no words, but... last summer I tried.

A MOTHER'S LAMENT

NO, I DON'T FEEL ANY SAFER
AND I AM NO LESS AFRAID.
I MARCHED TO STOP THIS MADNESS
HAVE WE BEEN BETRAYED?
YOU SAID THE THREAT WAS REAL.
YOU SAID THAT WE HAD CAUSE TO FEAR
BUT WAS THE MOTIVATION CLEAR?
DID MY CHILD DIE FOR A LIE?

THE COFFINS ARRIVE IN DARKNESS
THE WOUNDED KEPT OUT OF SIGHT.
YOU SAID YOU'D HUG EACH MOTHER
BUT I'M STILL WAITING
YOU'LL NEVER KNOWN THIS PAIN
MY CHILD WAS NOT PROTECTED
BY PRIVILEGE LIKE YOURS
CAN YOU EXPLAIN?
I ASK YOU AGAIN

PLEASE, WHAT WAS THIS WAR FOR?
WAS IT ALL A LIE?
WHY DID MY SON DIE?
WAS IT ALL A LIE?
WHAT WILL YOU TELL THE CHILDREN?
TELL THE WIDOWS?
TELL THE MOTHERS?
TELL THE NATION NOW?
THERE WERE NO WEAPONS FOUND.
SO WAS YOUR REASONING SOUND?

DID YOU DECEIVE ME?
WHO SHOULD I BELIEVE?
WAS IT BLOOD FOR OIL?
HAVE YOU SEEN OUR FAMILIES GRIEVE?
I WILL SPEAK OUT THROUGH MY TEARS
UNTIL I'M HEARD
SO HEAR ME SIR
I WILL BE ANSWERED NOW....

MY FAM'LY PAID THE HIGHEST PRICE OF ALL.
NOW WE CAN GIVE NO MORE.
AND SIR, HIS NAME WAS PAUL.
PLEASE, WHAT IS THIS WAR FOR?

from "The Question W Revue"

[Cuban_Liberal]

30. "PLEASE, WHAT IS THIS WAR FOR"

They'll never answer that honestly, even on their death beds.

[nostamj]

33. you're right. (uh, correct)

and they won't answer ANYTHING else honestly either.

I hope there IS a hell.

[mcar]

28. I'm in tears

My baby is 17, soon to graduate from high school and I am terrified for him. God bless Duane and Amber and you too, Cuban Liberal, for your sacrifices and for speaking out.

[Cuban_Liberal]

31. Thank you.

[gademocrat7]

29. My deepest sympathy

for your loss and for every child lost in this horrific mistake.The coffins coming home should be shown 24/7. Wish we could get billboards across the country to show them. This is a national tragedy.

[Cuban_Liberal]

32. Thank you.

I take comfort in my deeply-held belief in divine justice; some day a reckoning will come, and the truth will be known.

[onecent]

34. What a beautiful thing you just wrote...I am in tears for you and

your friend. I so hate this war....and listening to the "news" tonight I hate the media even MORE than I hate the war.

Friends were over today that said "I don't understand WHY THEY don't want a democracy????" I'm afraid I came UNGLUED...I know I was being talked about on their way home because I became SO incensed that American's can't see "why they don't want democracy"...Jesus our media SUCKS.

...and somtimes my husband thinks "I get too involved in politics"...God I hate this world sometimes.

hugs to you!

[Cuban_Liberal]

38. Thank you.

[cali]

35. Please send this somewhere

so that it gets a wider audience. It is without doubt the most beautiful piece I've read about the toll of this dreadful war. Thank you for writing it, and sharing it with all of us.

[Cuban_Liberal]

39. It's not that good, but thank you.

[JohnLocke]

56. Yes, it is.

Tony, you have written a fine piece. It expresses the raw emotion of how American families have paid the price of their life for Bush and his stinking war.

Please submit this to Newsweek for its consideration for the "My Turn" column. You can submit it here.

(P.S.: the word count was 917; the guidelines say 850 to 900 words, so you may want to edit it slightly before sumbission.)

[mitchum]

64. It IS that good

I am so sorry for the loss of your friend

[JI7]

65. it IS very good

[qanda]

36. I'm so sorry

I remember that you had a great loss of your own not long ago. I'm sure this brought back many of those painful feelings. I'm glad that Duane has you for a friend and I hope that you all can help each other to a place of healing.

[Cuban_Liberal]

41. He was there for me, when I needed him.

It's my turn to be there for him now.

[thinkingwoman]

40. so sorry for your loss

my deepest condolences.

thinkingwoman

[Cuban_Liberal]

42. Thank you.

[auntAgonist]

43. I have started this post 3 times now ..

My words seem so pale.


my deepest condolences to your friends, their family and to you ...


sincerely

auntAgonist.
aka Kesha.

[Cuban_Liberal]

44. Thank you, Kesha.

It's enough to know...

[mikita]

45. So poignant.... SO SO un-necessary...

Heartfelt condolences to you and your friend's family and all the others in the US and IRAQ who have suffered needlessly because of these scumbags (better words escape me right now...I'm crying)

[Cuban_Liberal]

48. Thank you.

[karlrschneider]

46. Beautiful, heartfelt,, and so awful to have to write. I cried several

times reading it. Some of the pain will subside, but the ache will be there forever.

[Cuban_Liberal]

49. Yes.

Thank you.

[wakemeupwhenitsover]

47. I am so sorry.

To lose a child is the worst imaginable

[Cuban_Liberal]

50. My sister has said the same.

We lost my nephew in Iraq in late August. Thank you.

[BrotherBuzz]

51. I wish I could somehow make a difference....

by saying something profound, but I know my words simply can't touch what you experienced and wrote, thank you. Crap, I noticed we had the same gathering, with what I believe would be the same conversations, emotions, and grief, in the next town over, the poor kid was just nineteen. A damn kid that should have been out chasing girls and dreams closer to home....Gone. Where is the outrage?

Oh, George Bush, Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld, Richard Perle, and Paul Wolfowitz didn't show up there, either.

[Cuban_Liberal]

69. Knowing that you care makes a difference.

As someone whose own family has also 'been there', there's comfort in knowing that our grief is shared.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

54. To think that 1500 families are undergoing the same type of agony

And for what?

[davsand]

55. I signed a sympathy card for the family on Friday.

I work for the County and Amber is in pretty often. We were all deeply saddened by the news, and my office decided to send them a card even if it did feel like it wasn't enough.

I've been pretty raw about it since I heard, and I honestly can't imagine how they are feeling and coping right now. I'm glad, however, to know they have close friends like you to help them.

Too much sadness these days.


Laura

[Cuban_Liberal]

71. Have you noticed the growing anti-war sentiment here?

It's too late to do any good for the 2004 GE, of course, but I've noticed a growing anti-war sentient locally, even among Republicans. Maybe they haven't all died in vain, if their deaths help bring this war to an end.

[davsand]

87. Even the hard core folks are questioning it.

I work with a lot of very GOP folks, and I have been very careful about how I talk about this entire international situation. Frankly, when we discuss our military involvement in Iraq, I'm always quite careful to couch it as "my isolationism" and to make reference to Pat Buchanan. A LOT of them look a bit startled to hear me make reference to Pat, but they GET it. (For those reading here who don't get the reference, Pat has been quite outspoken about his feeling that we had no business in Iraq to begin with, and that the deficit spending is obscene. He's a classic conservative with no love for the PNAC crowd.)

More and more people are becoming open about the fact that they feel we don't belong over there. I haven't seen as many make the leap yet that we were lied to by the asswipe in the WH, but they are getting there slowly but surely. I only pray it happens soon enough to bring an end to this insanity and stop the death.

What I am also seeing a lot of, is resentment for the lack of funding for VA services for our vets. I've not heard a lot of people complain so much about the local VA, but I've heard anger at the tiny death benefit paid to the families and at the lack of treatment space for our returning vets.

I made the prediction during the time we were ramping up to the invasion that we'd be there in Iraq as long as the US body bags didn't pile up too high. Like Viet Nam, a lot of people just won't GET it until it hits in their circle--THEIR family or neighborhood.

If the reports from the BBC are true--that they are under reporting the number of US casualties--then I think the anger will grow even faster. I pray that they haven't under-reported our losses, there have been too many deaths already. However, I also hope that if they HAVE been that duplicitous they get strung up as the liars they are.

Given the steadfast refusal to let anyone film the returning flights of bodies, I have to think maybe the BBC is getting it right. IF they are right, and our media picks it up, or our returning soldiers start saying it--all I can say is I expect it to get ugly here in the US very fast. If people find out the extent of the lies, I think you are going to see the mainline GOP folks run like hell to get away from this entire mess AND the idiot that created it.

Tony, I am very, very, sorry for all that you have had to deal with in the last few months. I dearly hope that your nephew and every other lost kid will not have died in vain. I hope I haven't cheapened your (or anybody's) losses by venuring into the political here.

My heart to you and all you love...


Laura

[greatauntoftriplets]

57. What a horror. I had heard that someone from Champaign got killed....

...in that horrific crash. My condolences to you and your friends, C_L.

This must be so damn difficult for you after your nephew.

I was lucky. My nephew was in the National Guard...after coming off active duty...spent the majority of his 4-year hitch in Hawaii. A year ago, his NG unit damn near got sent to Afghanistan. He was scared shitless because of the lack of training compared with active duty.

In the end, they didn't go. And he got out. Now he is IRR, but has not been called up. The worst part of Tom's almost going was telling my 92-year-old mother.

[Cuban_Liberal]

70. One of the Marines was from your area, too.

A Pvt. Ramos, I believe, from Naperville, or one of the other 'burbs. I'm glad your nephew didn't have to go.

[greatauntoftriplets]

79. Ramos was from Aurora....

Yes, I am very happy my nephew didn't have to go. We were very lucky with that. And he had changed...possibly his girlfriend's influence...from being gung ho and wanting to go to being really afraid because of the lack of combat readiness is Guard unit displayed. Perhaps it was maturing.

[alittlelark]

58. I'm so sorry... for Duane, for you....

... for all of us.

Thank you for allowing me to share in your moment of sorrow. I am so cut-off from the real-world devastation where I live.

Gina

[Cuban_Liberal]

72. Thank you.

You're not alone in being cut off or insulated from this; one reason for my post is to remove such 'news' from the realm of the abstract, which is where it mostly resides here at DU.

[juslikagrzly]

59. This breaks my heart and MAKES ME FURIOUS!

CL-

I hope to not invade your deep hurt and pain. This story is so heartbreaking that no one reading it will be immune to the horrific mess * has gotten us into.

May I have your permission to post your thoughts to a progressive forum in my small community?

Thank you for sharing your pain...hugs from someone you don't know but who you've touched deeply with your words.

[Cuban_Liberal]

68. Certainly you may.

If anything will help to mobilize the anti-war movement, you may indeed republish this.

[juslikagrzly]

84. Thank you very much eom

[Cuban_Liberal]

85. You may also use this, if you think it will help.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.ph...

[hangemhigh]

60. There is universal justice,

and the eye of truth is always watching. Peace.

[Cuban_Liberal]

73. And unto you peace.

[Ilsa]

61. I am so sorry you are dealing with this kind of pain again,

when your own must still be simmering in the background after what happened to your nephew. I wish I could make it all go away. For all of the families, and I wish I could bring their loved ones home again, and more than anything, I wish that bastard in the White house had an inkling of how pwople are suffering over his selfishness.

[Cuban_Liberal]

74. Thank you, Ilsa.

Yes, Carlito is very much on my mind still, esecially since we heard about Natty's death.

[TacticalPeek]

62. Thanks for sharing. So sorry, all around.

A Poem That I Wrote In A High Fever

You who are lengthening your lives
with the best doctors and the best medicines
remember those who are shortening their lives
with the wars
that you in your long lives are not
preventing.

You who are again screwing
the younger generations
and winking at each other
the winking of your eyelids
is like the chill of the swinging shutters
in an empty house.


-- Yehuda Amichai

(Translated from the Hebrew, by Leon Wieseltier.)

[Cuban_Liberal]

75. Shalom.

Thank you for sharing that.

[Lugnut]

63. I am so very sorry

How many more times will this scene be repeated across this country before people rise up and say, "ENOUGH!!"?

Having just gone through this in my own family in December I truly know how you feel, Cuban_Liberal, and my heart breaks for you, your family and your friends.

Thank you for you service Cpl Moore and rest in peace.

[Cuban_Liberal]

76. Thank you.

I'm so sorry for your loss. My own family went through it in late August, when my nephew was killed near Tikrit.

[phusion]

66. ...

I couldn't think of a fitting subject for this post.

I am so sorry for your loss. I'm sorry for all of us, all the Iraqis and Americans who have died in this "war". It's all so pointless.

I wish it would stop...

What will it take? How many more?

[Cuban_Liberal]

77. Thank you.

We must reach that 'critical mass' or horror and revulsion, before it will end, I'm afraid.

[American Tragedy]

67. God, he's my age. People my age aren't supposed to die.

Don't misunderstand me, it's always a tragedy when we lose somebody.

But I feel it very strongly when someone my age dies, not only because it reminds me of my own mortality, but because we have so much left ahead of us. Our parents and friends have built up all of these expectations for us for the past years, wondering what we will do when we grow up, preparing to see us outlive them. When such a young life is just suddenly cut off, they are denied the opportunities and experiences that were promised them. It's so fucking unfair that something like this can happen all on the whim of one careless individual.

[Cuban_Liberal]

78. He's my brother's age.

You're right: people his age aren't supposed to die. Parents aren't supposed to be forced to bury their children, especially not like this, and for this reason.

[mordarlar]

80. Breaks my heart. I am so very sorry. I ran into mother of one of the...

contractors that was killed over the Euphrates early in the war. It was exactly like you said. It is hard to define but something was... fragile inside. My heart goes out to your friends. No one should have to endure this.

[Cuban_Liberal]

81. Thank you.

[Mikimouse]

86. Beautifully written and very sad tha this has happened...again

I am so sorry to hear of it, especially in light of your own loss recently. We all lose when one of our young people dies. Godspeed.

[Cuban_Liberal]

90. Thank you.

[DemonFighterLives]

88. So Sorry to hear this

This pResident has screwed up more lives than anyone could imagine.

[Cuban_Liberal]

91. Sad, but so very true. n/t

[spooked]

89. Here is Nathan's picture from a Tribute to the 30 Fallen Marines

I am so sorry for your loss. Your moving account will stay with us for a long time.



Nathan Moore, 21, came from a family with a Marine tradition: His grandfather and father were Marines, and his parents met at Camp Pendleton, Calif., according to Moore's aunt, Jodee Bean. Bean said she wasn't a bit surprised when Moore joined. "He believed in his country and he went," she said. "We should honor him." Bean, of Quitman, Texas, remembers Moore as a happy boy growing up in a small-town setting in Champaign, Ill. He was very close to his mother, Amber, and only sister, Amanda, she said. He loved sports, particularly baseball and gymnastics. "Every time I'd turn around he was doing somersaults, flips, you name it," and Moore was involved in competitive gymnastics as he got older, Bean said. Moore is survived by his mother, Amber, his father Duane, and sister, Amanda. Moore was due to return home around March, Bean said. The loss is "devastating," she said. "This is really, really hurting my sister a lot."

REMEMBERING THE FALLEN
http://the.honoluluadvertiser.com/article/2005/Jan/28/l...