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Why do people Lie so often?

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Ripley Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jan-28-05 04:37 PM
Original message
Why do people Lie so often?
I'm not talking about the situation where people say "Yes Granny, I just LOVE your fruitcake" which I suppose would be considered a "white lie" (I guess there are different levels of lying) where you spare your loved one's feelings. And I'm really not talking about Advertising or about the BIG LIE (Plutocracy and all). Just the everyday conversations that people engage in.

At times throughout my life I have been accused of being either "brutally honest" or "blunt." My intention has never been to insult or hurt people's feelings. I'm not the spiteful type. In fact I try to be as polite as possible to folks while being honest.

I understand it is NOT a good thing to be *ahem* brutally honest in some business, public and personal situations...however, I find the level of lying to be epidemic in America.

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MetalMilitia Donating Member (22 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jan-28-05 04:39 PM
Response to Original message
1. Please tell me
How many posts I need to send a single PM - Jeez
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Ironpost Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jan-28-05 04:41 PM
Response to Reply #1
2. I would say not many more, Welcome to DU
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Ripley Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jan-28-05 04:42 PM
Original message
I don't know.
Why are you asking me? There is another forum you can find on the home page called Ask the Administrators...they could help you.

Do you want to send one to me?
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MetalMilitia Donating Member (22 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jan-28-05 04:54 PM
Response to Original message
10. Not you
It's just a pain cause this person doesnt allow mail contacts, and tol me to contact them here.

And I cant even start a thread - talk about an over-modded forum
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Ripley Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jan-28-05 05:16 PM
Response to Reply #10
18. Okay.
Hijacker.

Who told you to contact them here?

What is over-modded mean?

Why is it a "pain" when you clearly only came here to find one person?

Huh?
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Snotcicles Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jan-28-05 05:57 PM
Response to Reply #18
23. Bah Dah Bing n/t
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htuttle Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jan-28-05 04:42 PM
Response to Original message
3. We're a nation of used car salesmen
It's probably because our government and media have been lying to us for so long that we now consider being a 'good liar' to be an asset. Given the success of liars in our society, it's hard to argue with that.
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Ripley Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jan-28-05 04:44 PM
Response to Reply #3
4. Yeah, I was afraid someone would say that.
I just wondered if other folks felt like me...chastised for being "honest."
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illflem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jan-28-05 04:47 PM
Response to Reply #4
6. The other virtue that goes along with being honest
is knowing when to keep your mouth shut.
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Ripley Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jan-28-05 04:51 PM
Response to Reply #6
8. LOL!
True. But damn, if some people can't take some honest constructive criticism.
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bettyellen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jan-28-05 05:23 PM
Response to Reply #4
19. Alll the time, seriously. My boss told me many times I should lie to him..
and also make up answers if I didn't know them. He's a really dumb guy who prefers to be hoodwinked by pie in the sky promises and i am not the best liar. we didn't get along so well.
he thinks people lie 24/7, which is certainly true of himself and his family. I think honest people just make him feel like shit about himself, because he rewarded liars quite alot. It was part of the company culture.
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illflem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jan-28-05 04:44 PM
Response to Original message
5.  White lies, those concocted to protect someones feelings,
are not a big deal at all. The person, however, who seems to feel compelled to lie about both the small and large stuff has a problem.

We often call these folks pathological liars (which is a description, not a diagnosis). They lie to protect themselves, look good, gain financially or socially and avoid punishment.

Lying often gets worse with the passage of time. When you get away with a lie it often impels you to continue your deceptions. Also, liars often find themselves perpetrating more untruths to cover themselves.

We hold different people to different standards when it comes to telling the truth. We expect, for example, less honesty from politicians than from scientists. We have a vision of purity about those who are doing research, while we imagine that politicians will at least shade the truth about themselves in order to get elected.

If you lie all the time, even about unimportant things, you are likely to have a problem that will eventually -- if it hasnt already -- cause you real relationship, financial or legal troubles. Figuring out what is driving you to lie in the first place will help heal this self-destructive behavior. This may mean going into treatment with a therapist to discover why you feel the need to deceive.
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Ripley Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jan-28-05 04:49 PM
Response to Reply #5
7. Thanks for the insight.
Are you a sociologist or psychologist?

Maybe that's it...there is an accumulation of lies being accepted in our society so that people now do it casually.
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illflem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jan-28-05 04:59 PM
Response to Reply #7
12. No, just a guy who has been around for 60 years
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Ripley Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jan-28-05 05:12 PM
Response to Reply #12
17. Just a guy...
I'm just a gal and I find it getting under my skin that regular conversations seem so stilted these days.

As I replied to someone downstream, I'm not talking about PC - which to me signals someone pissed off they can't tell racial or tit jokes in the office anymore. That's not about honesty, that's about mores.

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Midlodemocrat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jan-28-05 05:33 PM
Response to Reply #5
21. I also think that sometimes in work related events
you have to 'lie' or at least gild the lily to avoid being stereotyped or worse.

Of course, there are a lot of people who lie just to lie, because it makes things better for them.

Also, I think sometimes our society has gotten so competitive, that lying is a way of protecting yourself against unjustified attacks.

JMO.
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ieoeja Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jan-28-05 05:48 PM
Response to Reply #5
22. I limit "pathological liar" to the senseless liars.

I have known a couple of people who would react to any situation by first thinking up a lie. Many times there would be no reason to lie. Lying was simply their first instinct. Often the lie made them look bad where the truth would have not.

THAT is what I call a pathological liar. But I'm no head shrinker either.
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Been Fishing Donating Member (161 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jan-28-05 04:52 PM
Response to Original message
9. They're Republican? n/t
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sweetheart Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jan-28-05 04:54 PM
Response to Original message
11. Political correctness denies honesty
All that matters is the appearance. Read the sports pages, know the
scores and don't talk about anything else, and you'll be safe from
all asinine conversations with PC citizen police.

The appearance has superceded the form, really... that the saint who
misspeaks is tortured, and the devil who whispers sweet "security" is
worshipped. In such a world, only intent can be true, and that can
only be known by the individual, not the collective.
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Ripley Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jan-28-05 05:00 PM
Response to Reply #11
13. I'm not talking about PC.
That is a republican construct to attack any civil rights issues.

If you're talking about "correct" dialogue in general, I agree.

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w4rma Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jan-28-05 05:08 PM
Response to Reply #13
15. It may be a term used by Republicans, alot, but they have a version of PC
Edited on Fri Jan-28-05 05:16 PM by w4rma
that is much worse and much different than what they say Democrats and liberals practice.

Try saying something bad about Bush to them, for instance. Or try telling them that war is bad. Try talking about some of the things that the Republican leadership is doing in our name that too many folks are in denial about. Heck, try talking about *anything* that Rush Limbaugh has helped to indoctrinate hate about.

I find that I can talk about almost anything with liberals, but I *really* have to watch what I say around conservatives. I get along with conservatives because I have have a good idea about how to talk to them, but I don't really like hanging around conservative because I have to watch myself so closely.
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sweetheart Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-29-05 12:32 AM
Response to Reply #13
24. Ok, why do they make up and support propaganda lies?
So you're not really on about lying in general, but the constructing
of mythical appearances, and then all the supporting backstories.

"America is the greatest." and then the supporting back stories that
the army marched on a capital in the fastest time in history.

or

A: "George Bush is our president, therefore we should support him."

B: "I voted against him, and do not support him, as i believe his actions
have already breached criminality statutes, and i do not support
felons."

A: "Why do you hate america."


The straussian myths are indeed lies, so a second layer of supporting
mythoology is necessary to back up the original set... and the ultimate
breakdown of this set of lies turns either towards hostility and an
ad hominem attack per straussian logic, or a state of catatonic
denial.

The need for such lies, seems rather deeply seated ego needs for
a sense of belonging, and the straussian myth fills this culture
vacuum as it is intended... so to have the lie stripped is to be
stripped of one's tribal identity.... which most lowlifes will fight
tooth and nail to prevent.

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ArkDem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jan-28-05 05:02 PM
Response to Original message
14. It's what bush has done to america.
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Karenina Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jan-28-05 05:11 PM
Response to Reply #14
16. Nahhh... the *dauphin
has just made it "acceptable" to some. The BIGGEST LIES are the ones Americans tell themselves to gloss over their ignorance, arrogance and collective "benign" venality.
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txaslftist Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jan-28-05 05:28 PM
Response to Original message
20. I don't know what you are talking about.
I never lie. Not ever.

My name, by the way, is Herbert Walker Bush, and I'm also infallible.
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