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Let's write his Outaugural Speech

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bobweaver Donating Member (953 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-11-05 08:37 PM
Original message
Let's write his Outaugural Speech
Edited on Tue Jan-11-05 08:42 PM by bobweaver
Oaf of Office:

"I do solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute the President of the United States, and will to the best of my inability, downsize, privatize and desecrate the constitution of the United States."

Outaugural speech:

Ladies and Gentlemen.
Trick! The exit polls were right. But it's too late now! Hee hee hee! Anyway, today we face no greater threat than nuke-ya-ler terraces.............


Your contribution:
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Nikepallas Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-11-05 09:09 PM
Response to Original message
1. How about this:
Ladies and Gentleman now that you have voted for me(smirking laugh)and I have a mandate to rule we shall see many changes my term. Now a lot of people will misunderestimate my actions but these people are the evil doers who allowed al Queedea to attack our freedom--because they like Sadam and al Qeedea they hate our freedom.


By feburary 1st I will require all peoples to have the national ID cards in their possession in order to continue to to work and go to school. I also believe we should have a national register individuals religions. I believe Religion is a important foundation for strong nation. I will also require all children in single parent homes to be monitor by the state and if needed be reassigned to two parent homes...

I also believe that by Feburary we should have national re-education centers to teach people who are not with us what it means to be Americans.

I am also enforcing a tax increase for those who cannot employ crafty accounts....
(I tried to get his speech pattern.)
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Philosophy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-11-05 09:12 PM
Response to Original message
2. He put up no resistance although armed with Saddam Hussein's pistol
"My name is George Bush. I am the president of Jesusland and I want to negotiate," he told the US troops in English...
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eek MD Donating Member (249 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-11-05 09:14 PM
Response to Original message
3. zero score and twelve years ago, my forefather.....
was beaten, but i showed 'em i can win...........all it took was a little bit of vote machine riggin'.........

Oh, and god bless texas...
Amen
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TrustingDog Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-11-05 09:30 PM
Response to Reply #3
4. four snorts and seven beers ago.
Edited on Tue Jan-11-05 09:32 PM by TrustingDog
on edit thought I'd add the rest:

The Top 15 Famous Quotes as Spoken in Bushonics

15. "Do not go, Gentile, into that good night."
14. "Ich bin ein Berliminable."
13. "All's well that's an oil well."
12. "It's time this country looked to higher ideals, like those of Aristotle and Playdoh."
11. "Four snorts and seven beers ago..."
10. "Study hard and someday you can work for a C student."
9. "It's moronic in America."
8. "I think, therefore I are."
7. "A man is known by the companies he is kept by."
6. "America needs to take the conserve out of conservation."
5. "Actions speak louder than those other things that aren't actions."
4. "Give me liberty or give me depth!"
3. "The suck starts here."
2. "Mr. Garba... Mr. Gorcha... Damn you, pinko, take this wall down!"

and the Number 1 Famous Quote as Spoken in Bushonics...

1. "The only thing we have to fear is here himself."

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LynnTheDem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-11-05 10:31 PM
Response to Reply #4
8. ROTFLMAO!!!!!
Oh man, HILARIOUS! :D
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dweller Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-11-05 10:13 PM
Response to Original message
5. outaugural guttural
"well, you won't have GeeDubya to kick around here's nomore..."

<deafening cheers and applause erupts>

a guy can dream,
dp
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Mz Pip Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-11-05 10:20 PM
Response to Original message
6. IT's MINE!!!!!
All mine!!! Nay yah. I can do what I want!!!! I've got the mandate and that don't mean I'm having coffee with Carson Kressley. Oh, yeah. (fat dance in the end zone)

Mz Pip
:dem:
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LynnTheDem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-11-05 10:27 PM
Response to Original message
7. "I am NOT a war criminal corrupt lying POS SOB MFing lying CROOK!"
Something along the Nixonian line, expanded to fit bush.
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Niccolo_Macchiavelli Donating Member (641 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-12-05 08:05 AM
Response to Original message
9. how about
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO .... i don't want to go to prison! the straightjacket is too tight! Where's unka dick? bohooooooooooooooo
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