What do you say to the families of soldiers fighting in Iraq?

[prolesunited]

Although I haven't seen it because I don't have premium service, there is a documentary on HBO called "Last Letters Home." Family members read the last letters and talk about who they lost. You can read the letters here. They also have a discussion board with some very unhinged RW posters.

http://www.hbo.com/docs/programs/lastlettershome/


Anyway, it got me to thinking. What do you tell those people their sons and daughters, sisters and brothers, mothers and fathers died for?

Protect our freedoms?
Keep the U.S. safe?
Was it to keep Saddam from unleashing WMDs?
Keep Iraq terrorists from our shores?
Improve the life of Iraqis by freeing them from a dictator?

None of these are justifiable reasons as they have all be revealed as lies. What did they die for? I can't find a reason and then I look at the pain on the faces of those who lost loved ones. Why are we there? Is it worth the price? And I am crying.

At one time, I truly thought we could stop a war. How can we bring an end to it now? There is no reason for more people to die and for those that loved them to suffer that grief.

[jmatthan]

1. Why skirt the truth?

eom

[ConservativeDemocrat]

2. Stay away, unless approached

That's my advice. Even in so-called "good wars", like WW2, the death of a child/husband is a wound that people often never get over. It is extremely manipulative to mention politics when talking to such people, not to mention counterproductive.

The best response is "I'm sorry for what happened". If you really want to stretch it, you can add "I would have never wanted him to go there". Leave it at that.

- C.D. Proud Member of the Reality Based Community

[pmbryant]

3. I couldn't tell them anything

What do you tell those people their sons and daughters, sisters and brothers, mothers and fathers died for?

I couldn't presume to tell them something so personal. Especially since there is no clear answer anymore.

--Peter

[CornField]

4. I just tell them I'm sorry for their loss.

It's the most honest I can be. I am extremely sorry for their family's loss.

[TlalocW]

5. I ask them

Who did you vote for? If they say Bush, I say, "I'm sorry for your loss, but it's your fault."

TlalocW

[prolesunited]

8. That's way too harsh

Could you really say that in the face of a grieving family?

[sangh0]

10. I doubt it

IMO, it's another "ten foot tall in ASCII, 4'11" irl" poster

[gratuitous]

6. As little as possible

I don't have a frame of reference for this at all, because I decline to indulge the unquestionable assumptions:

1. The military is fighting for our freedom
2. The invasions of Iraq and Afghanistan are legitimate military actions
3. The war on terror must be fought by the military
4. The military is defending us
5. People in the military are engaged in an honorable pursuit
6. People in the military are heroes

There are probably a few others, but those will do to start. I don't see any point in adding to the considerable pain and heartache these poor people are feeling. But I'd sure like to see an adjustment in our society's attitude in terms of its unquestioning acceptance of the above assumptions.

[Padraig18]

7. Speaking as someone who's been there...

Tony's nephew was killed in Iraq, and I can tell you this: the only thing you need to say is 'I'm sorry'. It short, sweet and sincere, and the family will appreciate it.
:hi:

[wordout]

9. he/she is with jaysus now.