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This past Sunday, I attended the second session of a seminar in Eau Claire called “Simplicity Classes.” This thing is based on the beliefs of the Quakers; the primary goal is “Living More with Less.”
I don’t plan on attending any more of these things. This was my wife’s idea and for $20 you get a book of various articles and quotes about living simply. 99.999% of my wife’s ideas are wonderful, thoughtful and intelligent. This isn’t one of them. In fact, she has stated her desire to stop going to this as well.
Imagine if you will, several white Americans meeting once a month in the basement of a Friends church for two hours to discuss their problems of possessions…and being very guilty about it. It’s like a twelve-step group for mass-consumers feeling soulless for mass-consuming. “Step One: We admitted we were powerless over being a mindless bunch of morons when steel-studded SpongeBob Squarepants dildos become the blue-light special at K-Mart.”
What a crock of shit. Only in America could someone come up with this. When you think about the fact that millions of people worldwide don’t have a bite to eat, the fact that you have some kind of emotional distress over having cable television, internet and gas-guzzling cars seems quite asinine.
So it shouldn’t be any surprise that we have things such as eating disorders, breast enlargement procedures, kids on behavioral enhancement drugs, psychotropics, and California-style colonics to refresh ourselves physically and spiritually.
You have to give credit where credit is due: Sam Walton was a genius; he and the current board of Directors of Wal-Mart has Americans by the heart and the balls. They probably don’t buy the same overpriced and worthless junk that their customers do, because they know how the shit-laced brew is cooked. And speaking of Wal-Mart, they are currently brewing a good deal of anger with the Mexican people over plans to build another one of their Super-centers on sacred ground. I guess they came up with the rationale that if hiring Mexicans illegally in their locked stores in Hog’s Balls, Oklahoma in the middle of the night is going to stir controversy during a time where America’s jobs are in danger, better to bring it to Mexico where they can pay employees 15 cents an hour anyway.
I’m well aware that there is plenty of crap in my house that I really have no use for, and I plan to spend some time going over it all and throwing most of it away. Who knows-I might just come up with a few empty rooms in my house to help my wife and I realize that we didn’t need to throw away twenty bucks on a book of fruity new-age verbiage to tell us that we have too much possessions.
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