Let us assist with maintaining the sanctity of marriage

[BOSSHOG]

Let's urge elected officials to ban divorce, bigamy, incest and spouse abuse; heterosexual practices prevalent in red states. Such practices are routinely ignored by religious zealots who have some loathsome hatred of their own sexuality as they merrily demand that since the Bible says Homosexuality is an abomination we can't let them get married for marriages sake.

For all you god fearing conservatives in the audience, the bible also allows for owning slaves and states that he who works on the Sabbath shall be stoned to death. Pray tell, how literal should we get, Praise the Lord?

[seraph]

1. "Praise GeeZuss!"

[MadAsHellNewYorker]

2. Check this out from the US Dept. of Faith

Lets just stick to keeping marriage biblical in the constitution...

USDOF PROPOSAL TO AMEND UNITED STATES CONSTITUTION TO CONFORM TO BIBLICAL PRINCIPLES REGARDING MARRIAGE

edit: fixed the link

[nytemare]

3. I will protect the sanctity of your marriage if you...

protect the sanctity of mine.

Wait, I am not married. Never mind. Maintaining the sanctity of your marriage will be all up to you now.

[itzamirakul]

4. And it should include

bans on anyone who has ever been divorced or who has groped another woman than his wife (husband) from holding office.

[BOSSHOG]

6. How could the religious reich object?

[idiosyncratic]

5. Let's not forget all the polygamists in AZ, UT, NV & elsewhere

After reading Jon Krakauer's book, Under the Banner of Heaven I was incensed these people still flout the law like this.

[democratreformed]

7. As literal as possible please. Let's get really really literal. PLEASE.

Jail time for pre-marital sex and adultery. Forbid marriage unless you can prove your "commitment". And it IS a commitment. No getting out - NO DIVORCE. Therefore, any threat to the marriage, such as abuse or failing to provide necessities (by the man, of course) would be punishable by law.

Oh PLEASE! Let's do it! I can't wait!

[BOSSHOG]

10. Women will not be allowed to work outside the home

Sex will only be allowed for procreation, only in missionary position and for no more than two minutes duration, in the dark. Orgasms will be banned. The Party of small government will be camped out in your bedroom. This portion of red state law of the land will really hit the toothless, drunken heathens here in Mississippi quite hard where sex is usually whereever with whomever and for as long as it takes; right before church services on the sabbath.

[democratreformed]

13. He he. I love it. "Social conservativism"??? Let's just help them

with that all we can. What other things can we come up with?

I've been thinking about pushing to reinstate prohibition. Alcohol abuse often destroys marriages and takes lives. What else? I know there are other "socially conservative" things we can come up with. I think it might be time to infiltrate the other side.

[JudyM]

8. Let's start by digging up and exposing dirt on rethugs in congress

[phasev]

9. eating shellfish

stoning for people who eat at red lobster

[BOSSHOG]

12. Or Crawfish. Boudreaux will be pissed.

[qwlauren35]

11. Except for Divorce...

those things are already illegal.

What you'd have to make illegal is extramarital affairs. Woo boy, that would put a LOT of people in jail!