Arthur Sumsay steps forward.

[trof]

Exclusive to DU News

Washington, D.C.
In a packed press conference at the National Press club in Washington, D.C., Arthur W. Sumsay of Grant's Fork, Michigan, came forward to "assume some responsibility and clear up some misconceptions".

Transcript of Sumsay's remarks:
"Good morning. My name is Arthur W. Sumsay. That's spelled S-U-M-S-A-Y. I'm here this morning to try and clear up some confusion that seems to have blanketed the national media, especially CNN and the Fox Network. When you hear Woodruff, Blitzer, Crowley...well practically the whole gang at CNN and everyone at Fox too...say 'Sumsay', they're actually quoting me. I'm the guy who dreams up all this stuff. I know most of you, understandably, have fallen into the trap of thinking they're saying 'some say', as if they're quoting some source that the code of journalism dictates they cannot reveal. Nope. They're quoting me.

I just sit at my computer back in Grant's Fork, that's G-R-A-N-T-apostrophe-S, F-O-R-K, Michigan; I'm assuming you all know how to spell Michigan; and dream this stuff up. 'Kerry's a flip-flopper.' 'Kerry didn't even shed one drop of blood for those phony Purple Hearts.' 'Bush fulfilled his military obligation.' 'The documents are forged.' Stuff like that. I put it in an e-mail and shoot it off to the networks. For some reason the rabbit-ear networks never used my stuff, so I wound up with kind of exclusive contracts with Fox and CNN. They pay me a buck a word. Nothing I can think up, even ideas I get during my periodic acid trips, is too outrageous for them to use. I've tried, a couple of times, to come up with something so off-the-wall that they wouldn't touch it with a barge pole. No such luck. They use everything I send.

The reason I'm coming forward today is that they are beginning to make up stuff on their own. I consider this a violation of my exclusive contracts. I have retained the New York law firm of Cravath, Swaine, and Moore to represent me in this matter. Thank you."

[Veggie Meathead]

1. I noticed a spelling mistake in your post.The last line should read,

Cravath, Swine and Moore.

[Mad_Dem_X]

2. LOL! Thanks, I needed a laugh.

:)

[mohinoaklawnillinois]

3. Trof, that is absolutely hilarious..

Can I copy it and e-mail to friends?

[trof]

5. Be my guest.

And thanks.

[fob]

4. This guy must be related to Bernie Horowitz

There's a The Far Side cartoon that show's a guy (or two) pointing to another (kinda creepy?) guy and one of them says, "That's Bernie Horowitz, he's the "They" in "That's what they say".

[BrotherBuzz]

6. Jeez Louise, another frivolous lawsuit!

Thank you, trof. ;)

[trof]

7. damn trilawyers

;-)

[BrotherBuzz]

9. Dem's still fighting words!

My pops was one of them evil trilawyers for over thirty-eight years and didn't get tagged with the "silver fox" handle for nothing. I never knew him to have brown hair he was purported to sport as a young'un but he was definitely one we wanted on our side... I miss him.

[Hubert Flottz]

8. This guy sounds like the other GOPer mole Ben Bushittin'!

I never saw a pig yet, that didn't run to the swill ASAP!

I think the entire GOPer crew is on clear light!