Need help with a letter to the editor

[Cloud]

I am writing a letter to my university paper. This is what I have so far. I am still brainstorming for things to put in it and maybe make it a little shorter. I just know if I submit it and it gets published a few letters will be written back questioning my patriotism and such. :(

The actions by a handful of republican delegates Monday night at the convention was inappropriate. Several delegates wore purple heart band-aids on their faces. They were mocking the wounds received by John Kerry in Vietnam. John Kerry has shrapnel in his leg. It is not just a scratch as some want you to believe. Not only are they mocking John Kerry’s service but they are also mocking every veteran who has received a purple heart. Almost one-thousand soldiers have been killed in Iraq and many have been injured. Over one thousand soldiers were wounded in the month of August alone. Are their wounds just a scratch?

George Bush and the republican party claim to support the troops but do they actually mean it or is it just a bumper sticker slogan? The smearing of Kerry’s service is not the first time the Bush camp has attacked the service of a veteran. In the 2000 Republican primaries in South Carolina the Bush camp smeared the service of another Vietnam veteran. They attacked John McCain’s service. They said among other things that John McCain was working with the Vietcong while in captivity and that serving 6 years as a POW made him mentally unstable. They even had a poll question go around that asked if people would still support McCain even if he fathered a child with a prostitute.

In the midterm elections of 2002 another Vietnam veteran was smeared. In the race for the senate in Georgia Max Clelland, a triple amputee, was attacked. In her political column titled “Dropping Political Grenades” conservative columnist Ann Coulter wrote that Max Clelland was drunk and dropped a grenade out of his own stupidity.

All these attacks deeply offend me as I am the son of a Vietnam veteran. My father dropped out of high school when he was 17 to serve in Vietnam. He was in the Marine Corps from 1966 to 1969 in Da Nang. He later became a casualty of the Vietnam war. After the war many vets couldn’t find jobs. Many became homeless and since 1975 many more vets have since came home and either committed suicide or died of drug overdoses than died in the entire war. My dad is a victim. Back in January of 1984 I was just four months old. My dad died of an overdose on cocaine. When the police raided the house he died on the front lawn in handcuffs. His heart stopped. Is his service to his country worthless? If he had ran for president as a democrat would his service be questioned?

The Iraq war was a big mistake. The 9-11 commission has concluded that Saddam Huessein was not involved in the attacks on 9-11. I remember the days when I strongly supported president Bush and trusted him do the right thing after 9-11. We did the right thing by attacking Afghanistan and removing the Taliban. I remember when the president looked America in the eye and said, “Osama Bin Laden: Dead or Alive.”

This president has lost my trust. We have been sidetracked in Iraq. Iraq was not a threat to the United States. I remember constantly being told that Saddam was an imminent threat and he has large stockpiles of WMD. Since the WMD wasn’t there we now hear that the war was to free the Iraqi people. Since we are sidetracked in Iraq the Taliban are making a comeback. There have been several car bombings in Kabul and earlier in the summer the Taliban kidnapped an Australian reporter. Tribal warfare is still common in Afghanistan.

The war in Iraq was a major mistake by this administration. It would have been much better to concentrate our efforts on Afghanistan and rebuilding that country and eliminating the Taliban. Iraq has not made America safer and has not helped with the war on terror. Is it worth it to possibly ruin a generation all for an intelligence mistake? John McCain recently said that we could be in Iraq as long as 20 years. In Vietnam we were told we were attacked at the Gulf of Tonkin. We were told we were fighting to keep the South Vietnamese free. We hear almost the same thing with Iraq with the WMD and liberating Iraq from a dictator. If we are going to go to war to liberate a nation where do we go next? Cuba? China? Almost every country in Africa? Where do you draw the line? You think we would have learned our lesson about preemptive wars 30 years ago.

Any help is appreciated. I am a science major, not an english major.

[calimary]

1. Frankly, it's just wonderful!

THe only issue with it is - it's probably too long. Just my reaction is all this is - your first paragraph is EXCELLENT and could even stand by itself. But you have other great things in there, too. You actually could take the first sentence, or first two sentences, of each subsequent paragraph - ESPECIALLY the one that starts with "This president has lost my trust." THAT should be a MEME repeated until it's hammered into people's pores. The last paragraph's introductory sentence repeats that of two paragraphs above. Thing is, though, this sentiment is PRECISELY what SHOULD BE GETTING OUT THERE, into print, and in front of EVERYONE'S eyes. If it's a University paper that tends to print longer letters, then heck - send in the whole thing!

The best part of this is that it's about to be read by others. AND that it was written, period. Obviously, somebody gives a damn enough to voice an opinion that's not of the official government-sanctioned Kool-aid-drinking variety.

SPREAD THE WORD! GOOD JOB!!!

[Cloud]

2. Thanks

I'll be going through it now trying to make it a little shorter.

What is even better is many people think Bush's strong point is the war on terror. This letter lays it out that he is a miserable failure when it comes to foreign policy. It is very anti-war and I like it.

[Lancer]

3. I agree with calimary

University papers sometimes print long, otherwise, SHORT gets published.

I don't write letters to the editor very often, but in the last ten years I had 9 for 9 published.

This year my three have been angry, lengthy rants, (can you blame me?) and they ain't seen the light of day.

Hone, tweak, polish. Your points are spot on. Good luck. You write very well and organize your thoughts nicely. :)

[sfwriter]

4. Good Letter...

I tend to think multiple shorter letters to many outlets are more effective. My version would be.

"I have lost faith in the Republican Party. Just what does it stand for?

As I watched delegates at the convention prance around in purple-hearted bandaids, I couldn't help but feel shame. They mocked not only John Kerry, who I understand still has shrapnel in his leg, but every other wounded vet. That includes some 26,000 amputees and wounded in Iraq by the latest count. That includes my uncles and a great grandfather.

Added to the betrayal of traditional Republican values like smaller government, balanced budgets, and the support of our troops, I am left dismayed. Like Bob Barr and Pat Buchanan, I find myself asking, just what is a Republican today?

To judge from the convention, it is now a party of mocking, jovial, warmongers."

I'd send varients of that to all my local papers.

[HarveyBriggs]

5. Here's a crack at it.

Monday night at the Republican convention several delegates wore purple heart band-aids on their faces, mocking the wounds received by John Kerry in Vietnam. Not only do they mock John Kerry’s service, but they mock every veteran who has received a purple heart.

It is truly shocking to see this loutish behavior when brave soldiers are risking their lives for us in Iraq and Afghanistan.

George Bush and the Republican party claim to support the troops but this convention behavior begs the question, "Do they mean it or is it just a slogan? I know this is not the first time the Bush camp has attacked the service of a veteran." They attacked a parapalegic and decorated veteran, Max Cleland, and former a Prisoner of War, John McCain.

With such callous disregard for the valour demonstrated by these brave individuals, I sometimes wonder why any person would serve in the armed services anymore. Truly this kind of behavior is not supporting the troops.

As I look over the campus today at the faces of young Republicans who say they support the war and support the troops, while they enjoy the comforts of this campus and hurl insults at our soldiers, I think I have my answer. Supporting the troops, to them, is but a slogan.

I think of my late father who served in Viet Nam, and I pray that for his sake, and for the sake of all of those who have sacrificed so much in combat that come November this nation will choose to be lead by better people than this.

---

There you go.

I have two relatives serving, one giving up college right now because he is serving his country in Bush's war. He has also been called a traitor because he is a Democrat. If there is a single Republican on a college campus right now, it is only because that individual is a shameless coward.

HB