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Bush carries a petrified dog turd in his pocket for luck....

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kentuck Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-21-03 08:54 AM
Original message
Bush carries a petrified dog turd in his pocket for luck....
He has carried it every day since 9/11 and it should be pointed out that we have not had another terrorist attack since that time. White House insiders are discussing whether or not to use this in their campaign commercials which they plan on test-marketing in the near future.

He found the turd on his pig farm just after he moved to his exclusive escape. At first, he thought it might be a pig turd but after much scientific analysis, it was determined to be a dog turd that pre-dated the previous pig farm.

Bush first noted the special powers of the dog turd when he almost sawed off his leg while out clearing some scrub oak down on his lower forty. He started carrying the turd in his jacket pocket and he never had another accident or near-accident with the chain saw.

Then, on Sept 10th, he decided to place the turd in his special cigar box where he kept his marbles and special baseball cards. Everyone knows what happened the next day. He decided then and there to get the cigar box down from its secret hiding place and retrieve the dog turd. Never again would he leave the dog turd behind.

And, as they say, the rest is history. He was carrying the dog turd when he landed on the Abraham Lincoln. He was carrying the dog turd when Uday and Qusay were shot to pieces. He was even carrying it when he was on the 12th hole of the golf course just a couple of days ago, when the UN HQs was truck-bombed in Baghdad.

Rove and Cheney will decide in the next few days whether or not to use it in the upcoming political commercials. They are debating whether or not it would be appropriate to use the dog turd to take advantage of their political opponents. However, they are quick to point out, there has not been another terrorist attack upon America since Bush has adopted the dog turd. He sleeps with it under his pillow.
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Randi_Listener Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-21-03 08:58 AM
Response to Original message
1. How does he fit the turd and .....
....Saudi Arabia in his back pocket?
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Cocoa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-21-03 09:01 AM
Response to Original message
2. he calls it Mini Me
:-)
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wellstone_democrat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-21-03 09:01 AM
Response to Original message
3. not to be a pest but...
unless this *isn't* satire (and has a link to an amazingly odd story in the press) isn't it "Lounge" material?
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kentuck Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-21-03 09:04 AM
Response to Reply #3
4. Have a little vision...
This relates to the Bush strategy of winning the next election by claiming they have protected our nation and that we have not had another terrorist attack under his great "leadership". I understand the analogy may be a little far-fetched... :)
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Merlin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-21-03 10:48 AM
Response to Reply #3
9. You seriously do not understand.
The only way to fight fascism is through satire.

This is as subversive as it gets!
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kentuck Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-21-03 10:52 AM
Response to Reply #9
10. Thanks Merlin!
I have accepted that all genius is misunderstood. :)
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robbedvoter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-21-03 09:05 AM
Response to Original message
5. That would be a different one than Turd Blossom, then?
Cuz Karl doesn't fit in a pocket. Wuz wondering...
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soup Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-21-03 09:05 AM
Response to Original message
6. Proof positive
that we're all in deep doo-doo.

Oh, man. Can't believe I said that. :spank:
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Paschall Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-21-03 09:49 AM
Response to Original message
7. He carries a dog turd next to the badge...
...of that dead New York Port Authority cop George Howard? He would do something like that.
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Merlin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-21-03 09:57 AM
Response to Original message
8. Hey, Kentuck, this is fabulous!
Nothing I love more than great satire, and you have hit a home run. The Onion would kill for this piece.
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Generic Other Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-21-03 11:08 AM
Response to Original message
11. Petrified dog turd is actually Bush's legacy
And he really found it in his underwear.
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UTUSN Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-21-03 11:28 AM
Response to Original message
12. It Takes One to Carry One n/t
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Octafish Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-21-03 12:47 PM
Response to Original message
13. Ron Reagan Jr said his "Dad's crapped bigger turds than W."
How does this fit in with a guy who's obviously a good judge of character. Would Smirk then be the "Littler Turd from Crawford"?
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ignatius Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-21-03 01:01 PM
Response to Original message
14. Oh man, this posts smells!! Actually
its pretty darned funny.
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GreatCaesarsGhost Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-21-03 01:31 PM
Response to Original message
15. so that's what the bulge in his flightsuit was
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Lisa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-21-03 07:51 PM
Response to Original message
16. thanks for the (copro)lite humor!
Although when I first saw the title, I thought, "that's not a nice way to refer to David Frum".
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