Democratic Underground Latest Greatest Lobby Journals Search Options Help Login
Google

SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT From 'The Morning Sedition' on AAR

Printer-friendly format Printer-friendly format
Printer-friendly format Email this thread to a friend
Printer-friendly format Bookmark this thread
This topic is archived.
Home » Discuss » Archives » General Discussion (Through 2005) Donate to DU
 
Cannikin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jul-22-04 04:21 PM
Original message
SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT From 'The Morning Sedition' on AAR
Friday, 6:00-9:00am EST

On Friday's program, at long last, all of America will get to hear for itself the entire story that President George Bush sat listening to on Sept. 11th, 2001, rather than attend to his duties as commander-in-chief of a nation under attack. That's right, "Morning Sedition" has obtained a copy of the almost-mythical story "The Pet Goat," which viewers of "Fahrenheit 9/11" will remember as the story Pres. Bush listened to for an estimated seven minutes in a Florida classroom that fateful morning. Because the story appeared in an obscure textbook that has only recently been identified, the full text of the story that kept Pres. Bush transfixed has never been heard by the American people. Until now!

http://www.morningsedition.com/
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
Sharm Donating Member (49 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jul-22-04 04:53 PM
Response to Original message
1. THE Pet Goat
It's online...

http://www.mypetgoat.com/

Part One: The Pet Goat

A girl got a pet goat. She liked to go running with her pet goat. She played with her goat in her house. She played with her goat in her yard.

But the goat did some things that made the girl's dad mad. The goat ate things. He ate cans and he ate canes. He ate pans and he ate panes. He even ate capes and caps.

One day her dad said, "that goat must go. He ate too many things." The girl said, "dad if you let the goat stay with us, I will see that he stops eating all those things."

Her dad said he will try it.

So the goat stayed and the girl made him stop eating cans and capes and caps and capes.

But one day a car robber came to the girls house. He saw a big red car near the house and said, "I will steal that car."

He ran to the car and started to open the door. The girl and the goat were playing in the back yard. They did not see the car robber.

More to come.



Part Two: The Goat Stops the Robber

A girl had a pet goat. Her dad had a red car.

A car robber was going to steal her dad’s car. The girl and her goat were playing in the back yard.

Just then the goat stopped playing. He saw the robber. He bent his head down and started to run for the robber. The robber was bending over the seat of the car. The goat hit him with sharp horns. The car robber went flying.

The girl’s Dad ran out of the house. He grabbed the robber. “you were trying to steal my car,” he yelled.

The girl said, “but my goat stopped him.”

“Yes,” her dad said, “that goat saved my car.”

The car robber said, “something hit me when I was trying to steal that car.”

The girl said, “my goat hit you.”

The girl hugged the goat. Her Dad said, “that goat can stay with us. And he can eat all the cans and canes and caps and capes he wants.”

The girl smiled. Her goat smiled. Her Dad smiled. But the car robber did not smile. He said, “I am sore.”

The End.

The Pet Goat, Siegfried Engelmann & Elaine C. Bruner, Lesson 60, page 153, Reading Mastery 2, Storybook #1, SRA (Scientific Research Associates), McGraw-Hill, 1995, ISBN# 0026863553

Unfortunately, amazon.com has deleted the reviews for the book: http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/asin/0026863553/mockerybird/ref%3Dnosim/102-0327649-9568174

I did save some of them, though (stuck them on my blog):


5 stars My Pet Goat is a masterpiece of strategic thought., July 17, 2004
Reviewer: oparts (New York, NY United States)
Destined to take their place alongside von Clausewitz and Sun Tzu, Engelmann and Bruner have captured the very essence of strategic thought in a mere 32 large-print pages. In this masterwork, when Smirky the Goat is stung on the nose by Osama the Wasp, he jumps over the fence and butts the living daylights of out Saddam the Swine. Advanced students will see the seeds of the Bush Doctrine in this landmark book.


3 stars My Pet Goat or: HOW I LEARNED TO STOP WORRYING AND LOVE THE, July 17, 2004
Reviewer: Frank Newgent (Tomahawk, West Virginia)
REPUBLICANS
It's a weird story alright. A little goat goes funny in the head and orders his airplanes to attack Russia I think. The Attorney General is in a wheelchair - like Ironside - but must have forgot to watch the show because he never catches anyone. And it turns out there's some kind of giant self-destructing Star Wars type of thing built somewhere in Texas.

I really couldn't figure out the part when Secretary of Defense Rumsfeld starts shouting: "I can no longer sit back and allow this hollow-horned, bearded ruminant mammal to infiltrate , indoctrinate, subvert, and conspire to sap and impurify all of our foreign and defense policy principles." It was like maybe he thought he knew what was coming or something and then just ended up causing it all to happen himself. That's why I only gave it 3 stars.

Probably my favorite part of the book is when President Bush falls out of that airplane right at the end, waving his cowboy hat.


5 stars Really Got My Goat, July 16, 2004
Reviewer: gefilte (Crawford, TX)
I only read "My Pet Goat" but I found it riveting. I could have read it for hours without letting anything interrupt me. I think the sociological ramifications of the interspecies relationship truly challenge the dominant paradigm of Hominid pair-bonding. Perhaps a legislative approach such as a constitutional amendment is needed to prevent Genus and Phylum exogamy. On the negative side, the author's theoretical framework is obviously influenced too severely by a Foucaultian post-modernistic approach. I think some books need a pre-modern approach and should be burned, but not this one. I found it intellectually stimulating as well as slightly risible.


Sometimes goats have to die, July 16, 2004
Reviewer: A reader (Greenville, NC United States)
I like goats. It's like my daddy always said, a goat in the pocket is a goat in the hole. If goats were money, I'd have a million of them (and give some to my friends too!). I remember goats are animals. They are not part of the axis of evil, but because I'm so compassionate, I sometimes still want to kill them.

5 stars A charge to keep, and I'm keeping "My Pet Goat", July 14, 2004
Reviewer: A reader (Crawford, TX USA)
I glance at the headlines just to kind of get a flavor for what's moving. I rarely read the stories, and get briefed by people who are probably read the news themselves. My job is to, like, think beyond the immediate. Why don't you mentor a child how to read? There's an old saying in Tennessee-I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee-that says, fool me once, shame on-shame on you. Fool me-you can't get fooled again. If you don't have any ambitions, the minimum-wage job isn't going to get you to where you want to get, for example. In other words, what is your ambitions? And oh, by the way, if that is your ambition, here's what it's going to take to achieve it. There's no cave deep enough for America, or dark enough to hide. I'm thrilled to be here in the bread basket of America because it gives me a chance to remind our fellow citizens that we have an advantage here in America-we can feed ourselves. There may be some tough times here in America. But this country has gone through tough times before, and we're going to do it again. I promise you I will listen to what has been said here, even though I wasn't here. The public education system in America is one of the most important foundations of our democracy. After all, it is where children from all over America learn to be responsible citizens, and learn to have the skills necessary to take advantage of our fantastic opportunistic society. In conclusion, buy this book today.


5 stars Steady Readership In Times Of Change, July 8, 2004
Reviewer: A reader (Sarasota, Florida)
A riveting story that keeps you glued to the page until the stunning climax. Even a notification from your staff that the nation you lead is under attack can't keep you from reading the gut-wrenching final words.


5 stars Presidential material, through and through!, July 6, 2004
Reviewer: Lolla Fallujah (Hannah Storm's house)
After reading the enclosed story "The Pet Goat," I was stunned by its lyrical beauty and easy cadence. The tempo, the choice of words, and the layout on each page captured my imagination so much that it took me about seven minutes to recover my bearings.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Cannikin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jul-22-04 05:33 PM
Response to Reply #1
2. Thank you for that!
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
newyawker99 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jul-22-04 06:33 PM
Response to Reply #1
3. Hi Sharm!!
Welcome to DU!! :toast:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
DU AdBot (1000+ posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view 
this author's profile Click to add 
this author to your buddy list Click to add 
this author to your Ignore list Fri Apr 19th 2024, 05:56 PM
Response to Original message
Advertisements [?]
 Top

Home » Discuss » Archives » General Discussion (Through 2005) Donate to DU

Powered by DCForum+ Version 1.1 Copyright 1997-2002 DCScripts.com
Software has been extensively modified by the DU administrators


Important Notices: By participating on this discussion board, visitors agree to abide by the rules outlined on our Rules page. Messages posted on the Democratic Underground Discussion Forums are the opinions of the individuals who post them, and do not necessarily represent the opinions of Democratic Underground, LLC.

Home  |  Discussion Forums  |  Journals |  Store  |  Donate

About DU  |  Contact Us  |  Privacy Policy

Got a message for Democratic Underground? Click here to send us a message.

© 2001 - 2011 Democratic Underground, LLC