An open letter to the 'girlie' Arnold Schwarzenegger

[rawstory]

Hilarious letter from http://rawstory.com

By William Young
LETTER TO THE EDITOR

I will fight you, Mr. Schwarzenegger. On behalf of Democrats across the country, whom you have called “girlie men,” I will fight you. I offer to take it outside, as it were, Mr. Schwarzenegger, and we will see who the real “girlie man” is.

I have several things going for me, all of which suggest that I am, in fact, far more manly than you, and by that token, you are far more “girlie” than I am. The first is that I have a twenty-something blonde girlfriend. How long has it been since you’ve had a twenty-something blonde girlfriend?

The second is that I am far, far closer to my sexual prime. I imagine that you have long suffered a great deal of penile dysfunction as a result of your years and years of steroid abuse, and that, moreover, your obvious addiction to weightlifting comes from a rather blatant attempt to make up for some sort of inadequacy you long ago perceived in yourself. I am twenty-three years old, Mr. Schwarzenegger, and I rarely go to the gym, because I don’t see myself as so pitifully inadequate. I hold a regular, stable job, and I have a college degree, and I have years to go before I find myself in a situation where I embarrass myself in front of a sexual partner. When was the last time you weren’t able to get it up, Mr. Schwarzenegger? Last week? This afternoon?

The third is that I am not an idiot. You are an idiot, Mr. Schwarzenegger, and your dad was an idiot, and the head of your party is a damn fine idiot. I am not an idiot, and so, I challenge you. I want to fight you, I will beat you up, I will put my foot against your bottom and I will squeeze your tender flesh with my boot and then you will fall down and I will laugh at you, Mr. Schwarzenegger, because you are an idiot and I will have fought you and won. Men cannot be idiots, Mr. Schwarzenegger, not since Aristotle defined man as the “animal with speech” and men defined idiots as “the speechless.” No offense to mutes, but I will fight you, and, fighting you, show you to be speechless, since you will not have a script to read, and therefore show you not to be a man. If Aristotle says it, it must be true: you are not a man.

http://www.rawstory.com/exclusives/letters/schwarzenegger_girlie_letter_719.htm

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1. agree. Let's take it outside.

One at a time.