War Pres plans election strategy, caressing zippers on flight suit (humor)

[DeepModem Mom]

Humor -- from L.A. Times, Al Martinez:


The war president plans his Election Day strategy


...We're in the Oval Office, where the president of the United States is pacing the floor as a close aide stands to one side, waiting patiently. The president is wearing the flight suit from his 2003 landing on the aircraft carrier Abraham Lincoln. He is known to wear it in times of stress.

"Who says terrorists might attempt to disrupt the presidential election?" he asks.

"Ali Ben Beebop, sir."...

***

"Sounds serious, Tom. Probably rolling up some WMD in the rugs. We'd better shoot a few missiles into Iran. Maybe on the outskirts. Give 'em a little wake-up call."

"I recommend we do a little more investigating first, sir."

"Why wait? Our boys can lay a missile right into their drawers. Scatter rugs and underwear all over the neighborhood!" He chuckles at the image....

***

"The only thing I can think of here is to just call off the danged election. If there's no election there's nothing to disrupt. That'll throw the buggers off."

"I'm not sure we can do that, sir."

"Who says we can't? I'm the president! A war president at that!" Pause. "God, I love that title." He caresses the zippers on his flight suit....

***

"Sir, there's no precedent for that. In all the history of the nation, no presidential election has ever been delayed. Not even in World War II, the greatest human conflict in the history of … "

"All right, all right, I can see where this is heading! Don't give me that FDR crap again! The man was a Democrat."

"Sorry, sir. It's just that he was a great wartime president … too."...


http://www.latimes.com/news/politics/la-et-martinez16jul16,1,288831.column?coll=la-home-politics