Jon Stewart commencement speech

[dfitzsim]

Even if this was posted before, it's worth posting again. Too funny:

http://web.wm.edu/news/index.php?id=3650

[indigobusiness]

1. here's a snippet

I’m sure my fellow doctoral graduates—who have spent so long toiling in academia, sinking into debt, sacrificing God knows how many years of what, in truth, is a piece of parchment that in truth has been so devalued by our instant gratification culture as to have been rendered meaningless—will join in congratulating me. Thank you.

But today isn’t about how my presence here devalues this fine institution. It is about you, the graduates. I’m honored to be here to congratulate you today. Today is the day you enter into the real world, and I should give you a few pointers on what it is. It’s actually not that different from the environment here. The biggest difference is you will now be paying for things, and the real world is not surrounded by three-foot brick wall. And the real world is not a restoration. If you see people in the real world making bricks out of straw and water, those people are not colonial re-enactors—they are poor. Help them. And in the real world, there is not as much candle lighting. I don’t really know what it is about this campus and candle lighting, but I wish it would stop. We only have so much wax, people.

Lets talk about the real world for a moment. We had been discussing it earlier, and I…I wanted to bring this up to you earlier about the real world, and this is I guess as good a time as any. I don’t really know to put this, so I’ll be blunt. We broke it.

Please don’t be mad. I know we were supposed to bequeath to the next generation a world better than the one we were handed. So, sorry.

I don’t know if you’ve been following the news lately, but it just kinda got away from us. Somewhere between the gold rush of easy internet profits and an arrogant sense of endless empire, we heard kind of a pinging noise, and uh, then the damn thing just died on us. So I apologize.

[IrateCitizen]

2. OMFG! That was HILARIOUS!

Every time you think he's getting somewhat serious, he goes off the deep end again -- especially this one:

I was in New York on 9-11 when the towers came down. I lived 14 blocks from the twin towers. And when they came down, I thought that the world had ended. And I remember walking around in a daze for weeks. And Mayor Giuliani had said to the city, “You’ve got to get back to normal. We’ve got to show that things can change and get back to what they were.”

And one day I was coming out of my building, and on my stoop, was a man who was crouched over, and he appeared to be in deep thought. And as I got closer to him I realized, he was playing with himself. And that’s when I thought, “You know what, we’re gonna be OK.”

[mithnanthy]

3. That was excellent.

I love Jon Stewart.

[RUMMYisFROSTED]

4. More:

If you end up getting your picture taken next to a naked guy pile of enemy prisoners and don’t give the thumbs up you’ve outdid us.

[bloom]

7. seems to me that some of the people in the prisoner photos

would be in the same generation as those graduating.

[RUMMYisFROSTED]

10. This is true.

But it's humor, not history. A commencement speech is one that addresses the future, it's not rooted in the present. I'm sure you could go to some commencement speeches in 1968 that are just as relevant today.

[bloom]

12. It was a good speech

I sent a copy to my son who just graduated. He liked it a lot better than the one at his commencement.


It seems esp. inspiring to have someone who wasn't the best student end up where he is at. To give them hope and all. And to be funny as well.

[Killarney]

5. he rocks!

[Egalitarian Zetetic]

6. How true is this part...

We declared war on terror. We declared war on terror—it’s not even a noun, so, good luck. After we defeat it, I’m sure we’ll take on that bastard ennui.

LOL

[hippiegranny]

15. that was my favorite line too!

lololol

[redqueen]

8. Kick

What's that "'84" in the title about, anyway?

[RedSock]

9. 1984

the year he graduated.

[Egalitarian Zetetic]

13. how ironic <nt>

[redqueen]

14. oh dopey me

what I get for dropping out of HS I guess. *blush*

[skippysmom]

11. Jon kicks ass

...yet again.