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dfitzsim Donating Member (85 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-04 09:21 AM
Original message
Jon Stewart commencement speech
Even if this was posted before, it's worth posting again. :-) Too funny:

http://web.wm.edu/news/index.php?id=3650
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indigobusiness Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-04 09:33 AM
Response to Original message
1. here's a snippet
Im sure my fellow doctoral graduateswho have spent so long toiling in academia, sinking into debt, sacrificing God knows how many years of what, in truth, is a piece of parchment that in truth has been so devalued by our instant gratification culture as to have been rendered meaninglesswill join in congratulating me. Thank you.

But today isnt about how my presence here devalues this fine institution. It is about you, the graduates. Im honored to be here to congratulate you today. Today is the day you enter into the real world, and I should give you a few pointers on what it is. Its actually not that different from the environment here. The biggest difference is you will now be paying for things, and the real world is not surrounded by three-foot brick wall. And the real world is not a restoration. If you see people in the real world making bricks out of straw and water, those people are not colonial re-enactorsthey are poor. Help them. And in the real world, there is not as much candle lighting. I dont really know what it is about this campus and candle lighting, but I wish it would stop. We only have so much wax, people.

Lets talk about the real world for a moment. We had been discussing it earlier, and II wanted to bring this up to you earlier about the real world, and this is I guess as good a time as any. I dont really know to put this, so Ill be blunt. We broke it.

Please dont be mad. I know we were supposed to bequeath to the next generation a world better than the one we were handed. So, sorry.

I dont know if youve been following the news lately, but it just kinda got away from us. Somewhere between the gold rush of easy internet profits and an arrogant sense of endless empire, we heard kind of a pinging noise, and uh, then the damn thing just died on us. So I apologize.
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IrateCitizen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-04 09:38 AM
Response to Original message
2. OMFG! That was HILARIOUS!
Every time you think he's getting somewhat serious, he goes off the deep end again -- especially this one:

I was in New York on 9-11 when the towers came down. I lived 14 blocks from the twin towers. And when they came down, I thought that the world had ended. And I remember walking around in a daze for weeks. And Mayor Giuliani had said to the city, Youve got to get back to normal. Weve got to show that things can change and get back to what they were.

And one day I was coming out of my building, and on my stoop, was a man who was crouched over, and he appeared to be in deep thought. And as I got closer to him I realized, he was playing with himself. And thats when I thought, You know what, were gonna be OK.



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mithnanthy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-04 09:43 AM
Response to Original message
3. That was excellent.
I love Jon Stewart.
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RUMMYisFROSTED Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-04 09:49 AM
Response to Original message
4. More:
If you end up getting your picture taken next to a naked guy pile of enemy prisoners and dont give the thumbs up youve outdid us.
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bloom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-04 10:25 AM
Response to Reply #4
7. seems to me that some of the people in the prisoner photos
Edited on Tue May-25-04 10:25 AM by bloom
would be in the same generation as those graduating.



:shrug:
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RUMMYisFROSTED Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-04 02:12 PM
Response to Reply #7
10. This is true.
But it's humor, not history. A commencement speech is one that addresses the future, it's not rooted in the present. I'm sure you could go to some commencement speeches in 1968 that are just as relevant today.
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bloom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-04 05:02 PM
Response to Reply #10
12. It was a good speech
I sent a copy to my son who just graduated. He liked it a lot better than the one at his commencement.


It seems esp. inspiring to have someone who wasn't the best student end up where he is at. To give them hope and all. And to be funny as well.
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Killarney Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-04 09:55 AM
Response to Original message
5. he rocks!
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Egalitarian Zetetic Donating Member (255 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-04 10:18 AM
Response to Original message
6. How true is this part...
We declared war on terror. We declared war on terrorits not even a noun, so, good luck. After we defeat it, Im sure well take on that bastard ennui.

LOL
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hippiegranny Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-04 05:14 PM
Response to Reply #6
15. that was my favorite line too!
lololol
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redqueen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-04 12:23 PM
Response to Original message
8. Kick
What's that "'84" in the title about, anyway?
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RedSock Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-04 12:38 PM
Response to Reply #8
9. 1984
the year he graduated.

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Egalitarian Zetetic Donating Member (255 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-04 05:04 PM
Response to Reply #9
13. how ironic <nt>
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redqueen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-04 05:04 PM
Response to Reply #13
14. oh dopey me
what I get for dropping out of HS I guess. *blush*
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skippysmom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-04 02:22 PM
Response to Original message
11. Jon kicks ass
...yet again.
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