Freepers Invited To Join The Donald Rumsfeld Dog Collar & Sunshine Brigade

[Beloved Citizen]

Tired of just sitting around bitching about Liberals on the internet all day long? Want to get out there and enjoy some real action? Want to make those Iraqis do anything your little heart desires? Want to finally leave your parents' house and make your mom proud of you?

Then gentlemen, wait no longer. The Donald Rumsfeld Dog Collar & Sunshine Brigade wants you!

You will serve our country's corporate interests in ways that really count, beating the living shit out of terrorist muslims and making them squeal their dirty little secrets, all the while wearing some really boss military style clothing.

Imagine you, master and completely in charge, cami-clad and towering above your naked little arab terrorist prey, inviting him to step into a bucket of water. Then, after your interpreter admits that this one still refuses to confess where the WMD were hidden, you get ready to take decisive action.

"Jumper cables? Check."

"Auto battery? Check."

"Naked Allah worshipping terrorist scum in a bucket of water? Check."

"Gentlemen, it's toast time!"


"Hi, I'm Donald Rumsfeld, and I need you to help me end the terrorist scourge in Iraq. As a member of my Dog Collar & Sunshine Brigade you will enjoy all the privileges of serving in one of our nation's most elite foreign service organizations. Good pay, great benefits, the respect of your peers, and docile foreign women paid to service your every need. What do you say? Our phones are awaiting your call!"