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I have been tasked by the right powerful United States of America to inform you that this coming November on election day you are hereby asked to present yourself at your local polling station. It is your duty to end a tragic period in our nations history.
The current state of affairs is troubling to the ears and eyes. We as the courageous nation that we are must retake our honor and humble dignity back for our children and our children's children.
Put aside your partisan bickering and make heed to understand the difficulties we now face. This is a moment in our great history where new ideas must confront new challenges. We must look into the light and see the comedy of errors that has befallen us. Make haste! Do not turn your backs to your reality.
Henceforth, remind your neighbors of this pronouncement and aid them in their arrival. The honorable John F Kerry has been presented as a suitable candidate for replacement. On behalf of our nation, under god, I ask that you select his name and allow us to rebuild the majesty that is the American nation.
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