The 'gay' side of office politics.......What should I do?

[Cannikin]

I started back to work monday after having been off for a month. I was told by a co worker that several employees were trying to recruit people to attend an anti-gay marriage protest on the state capitol steps about two weeks ago. I'm glad I was not here for that...holy hostile work environment, Batman.

Even though I'm gay, I still retain my spirituality. I happen to be reading 'The Purpose Driven Life'. It is a book that has apparently been popular around the office...the 'ring leader' of the group that was recruiting protesters sent me an email inviting me to join their book study group...now, I thought I was 'out' at work, but apparently some folks didnt get the memo...I know I would not have recieved the invitation otherwise.

How do I reply to this person who I now view as a bigot and a hypocrite?

I'd like to tell her she's missing the message of the book and needs to start again!

Her invitation made me feel very welcome...sad that it is based on her assumption that I'm straight, and it would show just how compasionate and tolerant she is, if I were to tell her.


Anybody else been in this type of situation? I'd appreciate advice.

[skypilot]

1. I don't know if my advice would work for you...

...in Arkansas. What I would do--and what I HAVE done--when approached by a bigot who assumes that I am straight is to immediately utter the words, "I'm gay". I'm not going to preach to you about the importance of coming out though since I live on the "liberal elite" East Coast and it is much easier for me. I don't have anything very nuanced to suggest. Ideally, you would come out and then find another job. How difficult would that be for in you current circumstances?

[Not Me]

2. "Sorry, I am not interested"

And leave it at that.

[Rockholm]

3. Check with your Human Resources department...

If this person is creating a hostile work environment, you could have HR make them stop. If the folks in HR are not sympathetic, talk to a lawyer. If all esle fails, beat the crap out of her. I fully approve of straight bashing.

[librechik]

4. tell her you appreciate the invitation, and it really shows how open-minde

d she is to welcome a gay man to her study group. You're sure you could provide some special insight.

[ronnykmarshall]

5. Two words:

I'm gay.

Then watch her face fall off.

[outinforce]

6. The Person Who Extended The Invitation

Is the person who extended you an invitation to join a book discussion group a peer or a supervisor of yours?

What are the laws where you live regarding discrimination at the work place based upon sexual orientation?

Those, it seems to me, are two very important questions.

It would also seem to me that you might be uniquely positioned, given the fact that you have actually been invited to participate in a book discussionm group, to enlightened some of these bigots and hypocrites.

If you do decide to participate, I would, if I were you, try to remember that people who feel that they are not respected often do not hear the message. You may feel deeply that the others in the group are hypocrites and bugots, but I would NOT let them know that. Simply present your arguments as best you can, and do not let them goad you into saying anything that is ungracious about them.

If they, during the discussion of the book, object to what you have to say or to your viewpoints, you might want to say something like, "You know, I debated long and hard with myself over whether or not to accept your invitation to join you in discusisng this book. I thought I could learn something from you, and I also thought I had something to contribute to the discussion. I did not force myself into this group - I was invited. I have refrained from calling any of you names, and I have patiently tried to understand your viewpoints. I would hope that you might be able to extend the same courtesy to me. Even though we disagree, we do not have to be disagreeable."

[noiretextatique]

7. can you study spirituality with bigots and hypocrites?

:shrug: it seems to me: those are the people who need to study most. perhaps she knows you are gay and invited you in an effort to deal with her bigotry. i would go, if only to make them uncomfortable :D

[OKNancy]

8. How about honesty

Say, I really appreciate your invitation, and I do enjoy the book, however since you were leading the group that wanted to protest gay marriage, and since I am gay, I feel really uncomfortable.

Leave it at that, and see how she responds.

[Lars39]

9. 'The Purpose Driven Life' is *very* popular with fundies.

It is alost considered a training manual. I think it's pure brainwashing. Ties right in with the Southern Bapts "Kingdom" program in fact. My husband's SB missionary brother gave it to him for christmas. :silly:

[Cannikin]

10. Hmm..

I'll keep that in mind as I read on...I hoped it stressed the 'good' parts of religion over the intollerance that seems to get preached these days...But it sounds like I might be wrong!

I appreciate everyones replies.