Rules for Being a Republican...any to add to the list???

[AnnInLa]

1. You must believe that being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you are a millionaire radio jock, which makes it an illness and requires our prayers for your recovery.

2. You have to truly believe that people, who are privileged from birth, achieve success all on their own.

3. You have to believe that the US should get of the UN, and that our highest national priority is enforcing UN resolutions against Iraq.

4. You have to believe that the gov't should stay out of people's lives, but it needs to punish anyone caught having private sex with the "wrong" gender.

5. You have to believe that pollution is ok, so long as it makes a profit.

6. You have to believe in prayer in schools, as long as you don't pray to Allah or Kali.

7. "Standing tall for America" means firing your workers and moving their jobs to India.

8. You have to believe that a woman cannot be trusted with decisions about her own body, but that large multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting the health of all mankind with no regulation whatsoever.

9. You have to believe that you love Jesus and Jesus loves you, and that Jesus shares your hatred of welfare, homosexuals, and Hillary Clinton.

10. You have to believe that the best way to encourage military morale is to praise the troops overseas while cutting their VA benefits.

11. You believe that group sex and drug use are degenerate sins that can only be purged by running for governor of California as a Republican.

12. You have to believe it is wise to keep condoms out of schools, because we all know if teenagers don't have condoms, they won't have sex.

13. You believe that the best way to fight terrorism is to alienate our allies and then demand their cooperation and money.

14. You believe that providing health care to all Iraqis is sound gov't policy, but providing health care to all Americans is the epitome of socialism.

15. You believe that federally funded universal health insureance is socialist and wrong, and that HMO's and insurance companies only have your best interests at heart.

16. You believe that "tobacco's link to cancer" and "global warming" are "junk science", but creationism should be taught in schools.

17. You believe that waging war with no exit strategy was wrong in Vietnam, but right in Iraq.

18. You believe that Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney was doing business with him, and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we-can't-find-Bin Laden" diversion.

19. You believe that gov't should restrict itself to just the powers explicitly named in the Constitution, except for banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.

20.You believe that the public has the right to know about the adulterous affairs of Democrats, while those of Republicans are a "private matter."

21. you have to believe that what Clinton did in the 1960s (Whitewater) is of vital interest, but what Bush did decades later is "stale news" and "irrelevant".

22. You believe that trade with Cuba is wrong because it is communistic and oppressive, but trading with China and Vietnam is just dandy.

23. Add your own!

[KansDem]

1. "you believe all abortions are wrong...

...except the one your daughter had to have."

[fryguy]

2. ::vote republican::

Eat tainted meat;

Breathe poison air;

Drink nasty water;

Help only yourself...

:crazy::crazy::crazy::crazy::crazy::crazy::crazy::crazy:

[RobertSeattle]

3. Here's mine

1. You are a deficit hawk when a Democrat is President, but quickly excuse deficits when a Republican is President.

2. You beat your chest in regards to getting tough on crime, but shriek like a 3 year old when the IRS gets tough on tax cheats.

3. You wear a flag pin on your suit, 2 flag bumper stickers on your SUV, and a big American flag in your office, but have no problem with Corporations shirking their taxes by setting up a "corporate headquarters in the Caymans.

4. Increasing taxes on the extreme wealthy is "income redistribution" or "class warfare" but somehow reducing taxes on the extreme wealth is not.

[Mr_Lefty]

4. Demand Big Government Spending

Then demand a tax cut.

[mulethree]

10. thats believing in family values - passing your spending on to your kids

[Warpy]

5. "You have to be less afraid of World War Three

...than you are of admitting to yourself and others that you got suckered by a crazed idiot in 2000.

[IronLionZion]

6. Libertarians crack me up too

like the onion article about the libertarian who reluctantly called the fire department when he lit his house on fire.

[strategery blunder]

7. You have to believe that America is the land of freedom

while the executive of America can call you an 'enemy combatant' and 'disappear' you.

[moondust]

8. More.

It is imperative that you be at least one of the following:

1. Bellicose/mean/rabidly aggressive.
2. A bigot.
3. A religious wacko/zealot.
4. Uneducated/incurious/closed-minded.
5. Supergreedy.

[gpandas]

9. 23...

you have to believe that bush had a good soldier record, and kerry aided and abetted the vc to get his medals

[fob]

11. You must be able to hold your breath for a long time since you

will have your head up your ass.