OK - pretend you're a freeper - Blame the Iraq mess on Clinton.

[MikeG]

I'm sure you can come up with a good one.

[leftofthedial]

1. Clinton spent 8 years swatting flies

instead of nuking Fallujah like he should have.

He should have killed all the Ba'athists and all the Shi'ites and run all the Kurds to Turkey and then made Iraq the 51st state, after having repopulated it with Methodists from the American south.

If he had done this, we wouldn't be having these problems.

[MikeG]

4. Not bad - but you need to work his penis into it.

[MidwestTransplant]

8. OK then

He spent 8 years swatting flys with his penis!

[leftofthedial]

16. Clinton spent 8 years swatting flies

and giving Saddam WCMED (William Clinton's massive evil dick).

Then, because they removed all the C's and E's from the White House computers before we moved in, we mistranslated this into W M D's, which we mistakenly assumed meant weapons of mass destruction.

Clinton's penis's fault.

[MikeG]

12. At least he knew what he was doing.

[david_vincent]

2. Clinton gutted the military!!!!!!

He cut the Pentagon's budget so severely that our troops had
to steal cabbages to keep body and soul together.
Iraq is all his fault, because if he'd supported our military
with an appropriate budget, we would've taken the whole place
with not a single American death.

[mouse7]

3. Clinton's penis was in the mosque. Of course we had to bomb it n/t

[MikeG]

5. Good one.

[Tandalayo_Scheisskopf]

6. Clinton's penis...

(Secret Service Code Name: Cthulhu) led us into Iraq, after it torpedoed all substantive efforts at addressing the terrorist problems. The comprehensive plan was created by Tom Delay, one of the great international thinkers of this or any century. Cthulhu saw to it's shelving. Clinton was just along for the ride.

[neverborn]

7. !!

Clinton Monica 9/11 demonRAT democRAT 'RAT Bush is god.

ON EDIT: Commie commie Stalin.

[ET Awful]

9. Well, if that damned Clintoon . . .

had invaded Iraq instead of screwing Monica, the troops would be home by now.

[MikeG]

10. Clinton did invade Monica. And Bush is screwing Iraq.

[ET Awful]

21. So you're saying it was just a transposition error. . .

And the clerical staff in Clinton's whitehouse just got the two confused

[salinen]

11. Clinton's penis

was in Prague at the same time as Atta's penis.

[name not needed]

13. its johnson's fault

for letting them black people into our wonderful aryan neighborhoods.


</freeper>

[MikeG]

23. BTW, Johnson didn't have a penis, Johnson had a johnson.

[name not needed]

26. johnson's johnson

[jobycom]

14. If Clinton had not paid so much attention to Al-Queda

Then they would have pulled off an attack here before Bush took office, and so Clinton would then have gotten the anti-terrorism bills passed that he kept trying to get passed (the ones the Republicans only agreed to pass AFTER 9-11), and so there would have been no terrorism attacks to blame Iraq for, and so Bush would not have been able to go into Iraq, because we all know Bush made an honest mistake thinking that Iraq was involved in 9-11.

So once again, Clinton set the bar too high, and so Bush failed to reach it, and so it's all Clinton's fault.

[EstimatedProphet]

15. OK, if you want...

Understand also, I have heard people say similar things, so here goes...
Freeper: Bill and Hillary Clinton are responsible for the Iraq uprising. While Bill was busy destroying the office of President and torturing unborn babies for his sick fantasies, he secretly met with Saddam Hussein and put Hussein under his control. Hussein has left secret instructions and weapons caches throughout Iraq so that if anything ever happened to him, the Iraqi people could uprise and attack the United States. This was all Hillary's plan, because she hates Americans. Eventually Iraq will become so destabilized that it will threaten Israel. Israelis will become frightened, and convert to Christianity at the last minute, and this will bring about the second coming of Christ, who will defeat Bill Clinton, because he is, after all, the Anti-Christ.
See, the thing is, diehard Freepers are effectively schizophrenic. What else can you say about someone who believes Satan lives in the White House and is personally trying to destroy you? Yet, fundamentalist Freepers actually believe things like this. Someone said today on DU that the Freepers don't need education, they need deprogramming. I'd agree with that.

[MikeG]

17. I agree, Satan does live in the White House.

[The Blue Knight]

18. Lol. Hannity blamed it on Carter.

So finding a connection to Clinton can't be that hard.

[MikeG]

24. Fear is here to stay, love is here for a visit - Elvis Costello.

[bobbyboucher]

19. Clinton's cock, Clinton's cock, Clinton's cock, Clinton's cock,

Clinton's cock, Clinton's cock, Clinton's cock, Clinton's cock, Clinton's cock, Clinton's cock, Clinton's cock.

Any questions?

[snippy]

20. Actually, it is Clinton's fault.

Clinton defeated Poppy, which meant Dubya had to become president to vindicate some Bush family thing. Dubya was so worn out and confused after six grueling months in the job that he had to take that 30 day vacation which coincided with the intelligence reports warning of the upcoming 9/11 attacks. Dubya ignored these warnings since he could always have someone tell him what they meant after he returned to Washington. But before that happened, the attacks occurred. The attacks caused Dubya to begin hearing voices telling him to declare war on Terra. PNAC exploited Dubya's mental instability to convince him that the republican god wanted Dubya to invade Iraq and smite Saddam who, you will recall, tried to kill Dubya's daddy. Being a complete dumbass who had always thought invading Iraq and smiting Saddam would be way cool, Dubya sold the public on the invading and smiting thing. But having a Fecal Midas Touch, he has turned the invasion and occupation of Iraq into the current mess. None of this would have happened if Clinton had not defeated Poppy.

[swag]

22. Clinton's

Big Fuckin' Dick is why this shit happened.

GODDAMN THAT GUY WAS HUNG.

[kiahzero]

25. This one may be offensive:

<freeper>Clinton should have had Saddam on his knees instead of Monica</freeper>.

[Renew Deal]

27. Klintoon and the socialists recket the militari.

[EstimatedProphet]

29. You spelled socialists right

You're no Freeper!

[sangha]

28. If Clinton had been stronger, he wouldn't have caved in on welfare

Then after we invaded Iraq, we could have shipped the welfare system over to Iraq, and solved two problems at once.

[chopper]

30. sure thing!

just let me finish this tall cup of Kool-Aid.

there.

GAH! Klintoons! Hitlery is teh suck! KLINTOONS! <garf> BLEH! RATS! RATS EVERYWHERE!!

[Zero Gravitas]

31. KLINTOON GOT A BLOWJOB

what else is there to say?