Any news on Asscroft? It must be serious to be in ICU so long.

[Gin]

I have known others with similar problems....but they were never hospitalized for so long.

[Malva Zebrina]

1. the outrageous thought occurred to me that maybe Ashcroft

was poisoned--:shrug: in an assassination attempt.

[ljm2002]

12. Me too...

That thought occurred to me just this morning, based on the fact that he (however belatedly) handed over the Plame investigation to an independent prosecutor, who seems to be leaving no stone unturned -- we all know that Bush et al don't like it when their minions don't do "whatever is necessary" to prevent the truth from coming out in cases like this.

[catmandu57]

18. You don't suppose that babs

has turned into a modern day lucretia borgia?

[asthmaticeog]

14. Cheney: "Screw him...

... he's had his time in the sun. Anyway, Roy Moore's looking for a job."

[struggle4progress]

42. You mean ...

another mysterious sudden death in the middle of an investigation, like Casey after Iran-contra? What would be the motive? His involvement in outing Plame?

[Fovea]

2. people actually die from this.

In some cases of acute pancreatitis, you pancreas eats itself, and you are in a world of shit when that happens.

[LearnedHand]

50. And it's very painful, yes?

No amount of pain is enough for that piece of shit. Maybe he'll have a near-death epiphany and switch to the Democratic Party.

[proud patriot]

3. I hope he recovers fully

so he may tried as the Constitution gutting
AG that he is .

[rock]

15. Can't he remain sick and still be tried?

That would be my preferred scenario.

[revcarol]

4. Why do you think he doesn't fly commercial?

He KNOWS he's a target because of all his underhanded dealings. There are some real sickos out there, and some real sickos IN OFFICE>

[The Blue Knight]

6. I think this is God reminding Ashcroft that he still hates him.

[Florida_Geek]

8. Or maybe SHE hates him nt

[neverborn]

10. Indeed she does =)

nt

[newyawker99]

20. Hi neverborn!!

Welcome to DU!! :toast:

[Timefortruth]

26. He stopped flying commercial in anticipation of 9/11.

IMO that is the loudest scream that they knew.

[asjr]

5. I am very suspicious about why

he is not undergoing surgery. It seems to me the most practical thing to do if he indeed has what he has been diagnosed with. Maybe his doctors are Democrats and want to see him in pain. I am thoroughly enjoying his pain.

[KC21304]

9. They need to get the infection under control before he can have

surgery.

[MikeG]

7. Hey. Faith Healing takes time. Okay?

[Florida_Geek]

11. Right and we have just the thing to help him

[freeforall]

43. Silly question Florida_Geek, but...

what's the story with Asscrack and cats? I see comments posted on the board alot, but must have missed the story.

[belle]

56. He 's superstitious about calico cats. Thinks they're evil or summat.

[MikeG]

13. What kind of painkiller are they giving him?

And is it addictive? Should we watch him after he leaves the hospital to see if he pulls a Limbaugh?

[Ilsa]

36. Can't have morphine;

it causes more spasms at the Sphincter of Oddi and thus more pain.

(Don't you wish you could put him on a morphine drip?)

[union_maid]

44. Yes you can..have morphine, that is

someone very close to me had this about a year and a half ago. morphine was what they gave him and it helped a lot.

[Ilsa]

54. That's interesting; thanks.

for a long time they substituted demerol for morphine as it was believed the morphine caused spasm and made the pain worse. Perhaps that older protocol was based more on anecdotal eveidence than clinical research.

[waywest]

16. His medical records should be examined.

I think an event as serious as this, should be investigated thoroughly!

[PaDUer]

22. Think we should send

some calico cats to let him know we're thinking of him?

[zatoichi]

24. As a Christian....

I can't really state my feelings in this matter, for they are most un-Christian. I don't know if I'll ever be able to forgive any of these thieving, mocking bastards for their sins against God and their crimes against humanity. I HAVE found that many "fundies" seem to gravitate to the extreme right. I've never been able to figure that one out. At any rate, I'll not wish any harm on any Attorneys General, no matter how evil.

I'll just ask, what's the deal with calico cats? I seem to have missed something.

[smirkymonkey]

27. He hates calico cats....

he thinks they are satan or something. Anyplace he stays he has people go ahead and make sure there are no calico cats there. Personally, I think he is seriously mentally ill.

[rocktivity]

38. GET THEE BEYOND ME, ASHCROFT!!!

UNCLEAN! UNCLEAN!

It has to do with a calico's chromosomes--they're almost always female, and male calicos are almost always sterile because they tend to have an additional X chromosome. Seeing as cats were associated with witches and witches with Satan, I can see where men once found them a threat.

:headbang:
rocknation

[smirkymonkey]

57. That's interesting, I didn't know that..

but I still think he's mentally ill.

[dflprincess]

60. That's so silly

everyone knows it's BLACK cats that are familiars of Satan. :evilgrin:

[jmowreader]

65. Yes, black cats are truly evil

We have four solid black ones and a tuxedo.

We took one of them to the vet for her shots and asked the vet, "have you ever seen a self-petting cat?" No, she hadn't ever seen a self-petting cat. I laid down on the little bench in the examination room and put my cat on the floor. The cat walked up, pulled my arm out, pushed it around to where she wanted it, then started walking back and forth under it, petting herself.

The sickest part is that all five of these cats will do it, and only three of them are related. And none of our other cats are self-petting.

Self-petting cats are the epitome of evil. I wish I had video.

[DemBones DemBones]

47. Hey! "ZATOICHI Enters Again"

One of my favorites! :hi:

[mainer]

17. Pancreatitis is serious -- sometimes fatal

The treatment, during the acute stage, is pretty much supportive -- e.g. pain meds and fluids. Surgery not indicated unless he gets an abscess or a cyst. But it's no laughing matter, and it is truly, truly agonizing. I don't like the man, but I don't wish this on anyone.

[djg21]

61. I hope he ends up OK.

I just hope he has to pass a stone the size of a basketball first, and it really hurts a lot! :evilgrin:

[htuttle]

19. This just in...

DAY 4: Attorney Generalissimo Ashcroft is still dying.

[megatherium]

21. My brother had this and was hospitalized for three months

He had multiple operations. Thank goodness he's recovered, and he's turned over a new leaf health-wise. He's cycling to work and he's lost 50 some pounds (he was very obese, a huge risk factor for this). I wouldn't wish this ordeal on my worst enemy.

[randr]

23. Maybe he had his doctor arrested for distributing

narcotics.

[boobooday]

25. Not much hope

His head is so far up his hiney that he's chewed off his own pancreas. That's my diagnosis, anyway.

http://www.wgoeshome.com

[Malva Zebrina]

29. Mwhahahahahha

first laugh of the day and it is almost 5pm here

[Blue Gardener]

31. Good One!

Sounds like a very accurate diagnosis.

[boobooday]

32. Its . . .

Pancreabitis!

:bounce: :bounce: :bounce:


http://www.wgoeshome.com

[Malva Zebrina]

40. Mwhahahahah --second laugh of the day

:bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce:

thanks--I have had the flu and have been miserably sick for five days hence and still not feeling well. Hanging on this thing. This is really funny to me.

[snippy]

34. You may be right.

[robertpaulsen]

28. Doctors orders:

Rub a jar of Crisco on it and call me in the morning.

[donhakman]

30. Ashed

[supercrash]

33. LOL....

I think he got a infection from wipeing his ass with the bill of rights

Heard that on Bill Marr

[snippy]

35. Perhaps only a terrorist Dr. would release the magnificent AG from the ICU

Or it could be related to this story.

WASHINGTON, DC—In a move that has sparked widespread speculation, Attorney General John Ashcroft gave explicit orders to his staff Monday to tightly bind him in heavy iron chains before the next full moon on Sunday, Feb. 16.


Above: Ashcroft displays one of the chains that will bind him.
"The entire Justice Department is under my strict orders," Ashcroft told reporters during a brief press conference. "I must be restrained, I must be shackled, I must be kept safely away from the innocent."

http://www.theonion.com/onion3905/ashcroft_orders_staff.html

[Ilsa]

37. It is serious. This isn't a simple case of

gallstones to be cured by surgery, but in addition, an infection in the pancreas that can kill. Rough stuff.

[DemBones DemBones]

46. And "just gallstones" can cause excruciating pain,

vomiting, a wish to die to escape the pain. I've been with two family members when they had "gallbladder attacks" and they were very sick, without the complications Ashcroft has.

[9215]

39. We can only hope and pray.......

oh, never mind.

[LeighAnn]

52. Praying for Comfort and Speedy Recovery

That's what you're supposed to do, right, in the Bible and all that? Don't you pray for your enemies? Because if you rejoice when the wrath of God is on your enemies, He may turn His wrath on you, instead. When God's wrath is pointed where it should be, we need to be humble and pray that God brings comfort to John Ashcroft, so that when all of Bush and his co-hort's evil deeds hit the fan, maybe God will be merciful on us, too.

/sermon

[9215]

55. Well, I felt the need to pray

but couldn't figure out for what. :shrug:

[Th1onein]

41. Pancreatitis is not serious except that it is extremely painful

[union_maid]

45. It's painful and potentially serious

You can die from it, but if you don't then you probably fully recover fairly quickly.

[librechik]

48. what a shame

<sar>

Ashcroft will suffer a fraction of the pain he has spawned.


Thank goodness his relationship with the Lord will help him endure this torture.

wait a minute--who does Ashcroft think is giving him this pain? It's gotta be the Lord, right? Why do you think the lord is punishing John in this extreme manner?

I dunno, I'm not a believer. I'm just wondering what Ashcroft is thinking. But if there is a God, he is dealing out some justice now!

[thebigidea]

49. it does bring to mind a rather pleasing mental picture...

of ol' Johnny bathed in sweat, crazed on drugs, tossing and turning in his hospital bed, screaming: "Oh God... why hast thou foresaken me?"

Hmmm. Nah. He's probably blaming gays or something.

[pacifictiger]

51. maybe he'll have

a near death experience and the real god/ess will talk some sense into him. Long shot I know but we can hope.

[Spirochete]

53. I wish

the ONLY thing that would make him feel any better was medicinal marijuana.

[grasswire]

58. here's the best article I've seen

http://www.liv.ac.uk/surgery/acute2.html -- lots more at link

TREATMENT OF SEVERE PANCREATITIS
At first, patients will be transferred to a High Dependency Unit (HDU) for intensive monitoring and given intravenous fluids and oxygen by mask. If the cause is due to gallstones, an ERCP and endoscopic sphincterotomy may be performed (see pages 12 and 17). Most patients recover from acute pancreatitis but some require to be transferred to an Intensive Therapy Unit (ITU). This is necessary for assisted ventilation of the lungs and to treat kidney failure by dialysis.

One or more CT or MRI scans may be necessary to assess the state of the pancreas. There may be severe death of the tissue (necrosis) of the pancreas or tissues surrounding the pancreas. If the necrosis is extensive or if there is evidence of infection of the necrosis, then surgery will be needed. The timing of the surgery and the extent of surgery are extremely difficult decisions to make even for experienced pancreatic surgeons. Once it is decided to operate for severe necrosis, the likelihood of success is anywhere between 50% and 80%, but this depends very much on individual cases.

The procedure used for removing extensive pancreatic dead tissue (necrosis) is called a ‘necrosectomy’. The procedures that are used include the following:

Open Necrosectomy:

This requires a large operation to remove dead pancreatic tissue. For several weeks (or longer) tubes are left behind to wash out and drain small pieces of dead tissue. More than one operation may be necessary.



Minimally Invasive Necrosectomy:

It may be possible to remove dead pancreatic tissue using “keyhole” surgery. The advantage is that the success rate may be better in very ill and elderly patients compared to open necrosectomy.

Failure to survive a severe attack of acute pancreatitis despite all the treatment on ITU and surgery is due to the inability of the different organs to cope with the stress of acute pancreatitis. In young people, even though the heart and lungs respond to drugs and ventilation and the kidney function is replaced by dialysis, the peripheral vasculature becomes unresponsive to drugs. The blood pressure then falls and it becomes impossible to keep the patient alive.

On the whole, most patients tend to survive an attack of severe acute pancreatitis although this may take several months of treatment in hospital. Despite an overall improvement at a later stage, localised complications may develop, which are principally a pseudocyst or an abscess (see below).

[grasswire]

59. so.....

...the public should know if the AG is on a ventilator and undergoing dialysis.

[Hekate]

62. "...several months of treatment in hospital..."

That would answer one of my prayers related to this religious fanatic: that he be out of commission the rest of the year. I think it's bad karma to wish him dead, but he would do less harm to our nation if he were out of office for whatever reason, and I can hope for that.

Hekate

[Andy_Stephenson]

63. Perhaps he died already...

and they just haven't told us.

[raysr]

64. Didn't Mike Malloy

have phychic on once that predicted that a high level Bush cabinet member would resign before the election due to liability?

[John_H]

66. "Ashcroft's planned testimony before two congressional committees

this week will be re-scheduled..."

snip

"...several months of hospitalization."


I think we have an answer, folks.

[Cronus Protagonist]

67. He's probably eating aborted fetuses to gain his health back

I heard Satan likes to do that too, so he's on his Master's maintenance program. Kinda like Atkins for Devil worshippers.

"FUCK BUSH" Buttons, Stickers & Magnets