I'm not sure that I support gay marriage

[ariellyn]

I consider myself to be very tolerant. I believe being gay is not a choice but people are born that way. And yet, I find myself unable to wholeheartedly support gay marriage.

I see many posts in DU where the writers are appalled that everyone else is not for gay marriage--assuming somehow that everbody in DU supports it.

I was talking to a friend about this today, a devoutly christian friend whose sister is gay (but who she said today, "is not like that anymore":eyes:). I said to my friend that there are legal issues which are separate from religious ones that are the reason why gays should be married. I said, for instance, that gays whose partners become ill aren't allowed to see their loved ones in the hospital, aren't allowed to file joint tax returns or reap the other legal benefits of marriage. I said (not knowing much about the bible) that marriage is a legal institution and not a biblical one.

She said that money (ie., taxes) is no reason to give up a place in heaven--that the bible says homosexuality is wrong. I vehemently disagree with this and am not sure I will go to heaven either for this and other reasons. She says that other legal issues can be resolved by making out a will, etc.--somewhat of a good point. She says the bible talks about marriage regarding divorce being a sin, and women obeying men, yadda yadda...

We also talked about the proliferation of homosexual displays in society. She says she sees high school girls walking down the street hand in hand, something that you never saw, say, ten years ago. She fears that this will rub off on impressionable children. I don't necessarily like to see this either, it makes uncomfortable. But, I feel deep down that no one would willingly open themselves up to scorn and ridicule of being homosexual and that society has to grow more tolerant and less fearful as I am learning to.

So, I'm still not clear as to how to reconcile the religious writings of the bible, with the modern day complexities being gay and of gay marriage.

My intent is not to flame gays by posting this. It's really to test my assumptions about the issue.

[DuctapeFatwa]

1. Lots of people oppose equal rights for everyone. Not everyone agrees

on which groups should be exempted though.

[Name removed]

2. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[ariellyn]

4. You are right about that....I'm bracing myself

Do you think my post was offensive? I didn't mean for it be.

[bigwillq]

8. To me it's not offensive at all

I think you make a lot of valid points as to why some are opposed to gay marriage. I have considered some of those myself but feel that all people need choices in deciding what is best for them and their loved one's.

[bigwillq]

3. You're entitled to think what you want

on this subject. As a gay man, I'm not sure if I will ever get "married" to my lover but in regards to this subject I think people deserve a choice as to whether they want to get married or not. All people deserve rights and choices. I don't care if some people are not for it but it appalls me when the government does not treat people equally.

[Brian_Expat]

5. 200 years ago. . .

. . . the idea of women working or owning property "made people nervous."

150 years ago, the idea that blacks shouldn't be slaves was very discomforting to some.

100 years ago, the idea that women should be able to vote was shockingly radical.

50 years ago, people saw interracial couples holding hands walking down the street and feared it would "rub off on the children."

As it was then, so it is today.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

6. So if her bigotry and religious intolerance rubs off on her children that

is OK, but if her children witness two people holding hands, their presumed heterosexuality might fall off?

I'm sorry, but paranoia is no cause for discrimination...just ask the Japanese who were locked in internment camps in the US during WW2.

[ThomWV]

7. Its Not Important That You Support Gay Marriage

What is important is that you not block it for others. The simple fact is that it is none of your business or of my business who anyone marries. Its none of the state's business either, and that is the real point.

[Moderator]

9. Locking

Rules to start discussion threads in the General Discussion forum.

1. If you start a thread in the General Discussion forum, you must present your opinion in a manner that is not inflammatory, which respects differences in opinion, and which is likely to lead to respectful discussion rather than flaming. Some examples of things which should generally be avoided are: unnecessarily hot rhetoric, nicknames for prominent Democrats or their supporters, broad-brush statements about groups of people, single-sentence "drive-by" thread topics, etc.

2. The subject line of a discussion thread must accurately reflect the actual content of the message.

3. The subject line of a discussion thread may not include profanity or swear words, even if words or letters are replaced by asterisks, dashes, or abbreviations.

4. The subject line and the entire text of the message which starts the thread may not include excessive capitalization, or excessive punctuation.

5. If you post an article or other published content which is from a conservative source or which expresses a traditionally conservative viewpoint, you must state your opinion about the piece and/or the issues it raises.

6. You may not start a new discussion thread in order to continue a current or recent flame war from another thread. The moderators have the authority to lock threads in order to contain flaming on a particular topic to only one thread at a time.

7. Discussion topics about the Democratic presidential primary are not permitted in the General Discussion forum, and instead must be posted in the General Discussion: 2004 Primary forum. Passing references to the Democratic primary candidates are permitted, provided that the overall topic of discussion is not directly related to the presidential primary or the primary candidates.

Thank you for your understanding and cooperation,
DU moderator