So they gave me this brand new Cadillac

[trof]

(from trof's Obscure Fables and Analogies)

I worked for the company for 35 years. The day I was hired, they told me "trof, if you work hard, and keep your nose clean, and stay with us until mandatory retirement, we'll give you a brand new Cadillac with a trunkful of cash. Enough to last you comfortably for the rest of your life."

"DEAL!", I said.

Thirty-five years later, I hit the mandatory retirement age. There was a nice little party and ceremony with family, friends, and co-workers. I was still relatively young (60), I felt good, and I was looking forward to retirement.

After the party, I walked out into the parking lot and there was my brand new Caddy. It was a beaut. Power EVERYTHING. OnStar, CD and DVD player. Remote, keyless entry. Even power doors. Every possible option. Wow!
I hit the button to open the trunk and, sure enough, there were stacks of hundred dollar bills in there that would choke a Blue Whale. I was set for life.
:-):-):-)

A year later I get a call from the company's Retiree Benefits Department.
"Mr. trof, I just wanted to inform you that next Monday an employee of this department will come by to collect the keys to your Cadillac."
"What?! That's MY car. The company gave it to me. It's mine!"
"We're very sorry, Mr. trof, but the company can no longer afford to make the payments on that car. It will be exchanged for a Chevrolet Cavalier."
"Payments? I thought it was paid for. Free and clear."
"Unfortunately, not. Oh yes, when you return the Cadillac, leave half of the remaining cash in the trunk."
"HOLD IT! That's MY money. That was our deal. I need that. I'm not giving it back."
"Mr. trof, I have no information about any "deal". If you do not return the cash and the car we will take you to court. It will be very expensive for you and you will still lose the case. Now please have the keys and money ready for our agent when he arrives."
:-(

The following year I get another call from the benefits department.
"Mr. trof? Tomorrow morning one of our agents will be there to collect the keys to your Chevy Cavalier. He'll leave you a '96 Yugo. Oh, and have the rest of the cash ready for him too."
"Now just a goddam minute. You can't do that."
"Sir, I'm afraid we can. You have absolutely no recourse in this matter. You are welcome to consult an attorney of your choice, but I can assure you that you'll get the same answer. In lieu of the cash you are returning, we have arranged for a bankrupt government agency to make monthly subsistence payments to you or to the bank of your choice."
"Whhhaaaaa?"
:grr:

Six months later the phone rings.
"Mr. trof? We hope this causes you no inconvenience, but we must ask that you make a monthly payment of $170, for the rest of your life, if you wish to continue using that Yugo."
:argh::argh::argh::argh::argh:

[DemoTex]

1. Singing the PBGC blues ...

How well I know.