Bass Boat Vets for Truth take on W

[dreadneck]

This sounds about as reasonable as the Swift Boat Vets do:

Bass Boat Vets for Truth Question Bush
09/06/04 AXIS, Alabama

A group of bass fishermen from Lower Alabama came forward this morning to question President Bush's activities there in the early 1970's.

Dr. Cecil McCoy claims to have treated Mr. Bush in a motel room in 1972 as a favor to an influential friend. After an afternoon fishing in Mobile Bay, the future president had suffered a severe second degree sunburn across the entire left side of his body.

"He told me he accidentally faced the same direction all day long," Dr. McCoy told our RealStupid maritime reporter. "But if you ask me, he passed out buck nekkid with a bottle of Jack Daniels in his hand. That's the only explanation for that sunburn bein' on the left side of both his tongue and his tallywhacker.

"Not to mention the Jack Daniels logo bein' burned into his upper left pectoral region."

Jeb, Jed, and Ned Slocumb, co-owners of Slocumb's Bait and Fine Likkers in Huxford, Alabama, claim that Mr. Bush purchased some night crawlers, a fishing license, and a fifth of Johnnie Walker from their mother, Deb, also in 1972.

"He told Ma he'd be takin' that Johnnie Walker across the border into Baldwin County," Ned explained, "and that if he didn't come back within 24 hours, to call in the National Guard. Funny thing was, he was all red on one side of his body, and all white on the other.

"And Ma swears to this day he had a Jack Daniels logo tattooed on his chest."

Pharmacist Elvin Venable also had an encounter with Mr. Bush in 1972.

"This young feller come in with a fish hook stuck in his keister," Venable chuckled, "so I give him some tweezers and a bottle o' rubbin' alcohol. Said he'd been lost in Baldwin County fer three days. You shoulda seen that boy's sunburn--red as a beet from head to toe, he was.

"And damned if he didn't have a Jack Daniels tattoo on one side of his chest," Venable added, "and a Johnnie Walker tattoo on the other."

Mr. Bush's fishing policy advisor, Roland Martin, has denied all charges, although the Alabama Department of Natural Resources acknowledged late today that significant gaps exist in the records of the president's boating and fishing licenses.

©2004 www.RealStupidNews.com

[klook]

1. Heh

I heard one of the groups marching in NYC during the RNC was "Shrimp Boat Veterans for Bush."

[jeff30997]

2. How about :

Trash barges Veterans for Bush ? :)