19 reasons why God torched Jesus

[pepperbear]

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/g/a/2010/06/18/notes061810.DTL&nl=fix


*snip*

4) Oh sure, make all the jokes you want. "God struck down his only son. Again!" Or, "I guess God really hates Styrofoam!" Here's what the fundamentalists think: "It's genius! Don't you see God's master plan here? He started a holy conversation! We're all talking about Jesus again! He brought Christ back into the public consciousness! Yay, God!"

Sure, you could argue it's a form of the Savior that's just a wee bit tacky, insulting and childish, not to mention a laughable piece of "artwork" you wouldn't wish upon a blind quadriplegic goat herder. Whatevs. As the Pharisees used to say: "No such thing as bad press, yo."

*snip*

[Daveparts still]

1. God Didn't

torch Jesus science torched Jesus. Happens every day and science would have torched a forty foot tall science book. The laws of nature work uniformly and play no favorites.

[Warpy]

2. I love Morford

9) God: "Wait, what? That was supposed to be Jesus? It looked like Charles Manson after too many marshmallow peeps and a bad peroxide job. Aw, dammit."

Read more: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/g/a/2010/06/18/notes061810.DTL&nl=fix#ixzz0rDf2LBBy

[zipplewrath]

3. #6

6) The real Jesus of historical record, being a grizzled, husky, musky, dark-skinned Jew with short, curly black hair who rarely showered and smelled of goat droppings and dried sweat, and who had a thing for screaming random prophesies in the streets and talking about doom, fire and the unbearable hotness of Mary Magdalene, well, the real Jesus' spirit has been quite displeased with being eternally depicted as a pale, soft-focus blond European hippie in bleached-out robes who likes to give lots of there-there-now hugs while watching professional sports. Basta.


God hates bad art, especially depicting his kid

[pundaint]

4. Yea brethren, it is written in the Book of Face, Jesus looked like

his racial heritage. Likes:, good wine, fish, fresh bread, warm giving women, mellow folks. Dislikes: Figs, hypocrites (watch out "christian" religions), bankers.

[Myrina]

5. ... something about that one commandment about not worshiping idols, maybe?

:shrug:

[MisterP]

6. 20. Andre Serrano and the Nazi "Aryan Christian" cartoonist Fips couldn't come up with worse

if they TRIED

it looks like something Cthulhu would make in art-therapy class if asked to depict Its love-slinging rival deity

[greymattermom]

7. touchdown jesus?

This is about touchdown jesus on I75, right?

[ladywnch]

8. yes, it is. he is called touchdown Jesus because he looks like

a ref signaling a touchdown with his arms raised over his head.

[sce56]

12. He looks like an insect now!

[Joe Bacon]

9. Drop Kick Me Jesus Through The Goal Post Of Life

Sing along with Bobby...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SO5Y1OuQIxo :rofl:

[southernyankeebelle]

10. Whatever that so called Jesus statue was to me it was overkill. I don't think

God like idols. It was scary looking to me.

[papadog]

11. Maybe God was letting them know: Spend less on Idol Worship

and more on helping the poor. Has Religion ever been more of a ConGame than now? It's all about making money for the minister, pastor, reverend, priest,etc. and less about helping the poor. I think God was actually aiming for the church and missed, He's getting old now and his eyesight isn't what it was a couple of eons ago.