Reasons to Buy Stock in BP: as told by Dilbert's Scott Adams

[dem mba]

Betting on the Bad Guys
Cartoonist Scott Adams's personal road to riches: Put your money on the companies that you hate the most
By SCOTT ADAMS

When I heard that BP was destroying a big portion of Earth, with no serious discussion of cutting their dividend, I had two thoughts: 1) I hate them, and 2) This would be an excellent time to buy their stock. And so I did. Although I should have waited a week.

People ask me how it feels to take the side of moral bankruptcy. Answer: Pretty good! Thanks for asking. How's it feel to be a disgruntled victim?

I have a theory that you should invest in the companies that you hate the most. The usual reason for hating a company is that the company is so powerful it can make you balance your wallet on your nose while you beg for their product. Oil companies such as BP don't actually make you beg for oil, but I think we all realize that they could. It's implied in the price of gas.

I hate BP, but I admire them too, in the same way I respect the work ethic of serial killers. I remember the day I learned that BP was using a submarine…with a web cam…a mile under the sea…to feed live video of their disaster to the world. My mind screamed "STOP TRYING TO MAKE ME LOVE YOU! MUST…THINK…OF DEAD BIRDS TO MAINTAIN ANGER!" The geeky side of me has a bit of a crush on them, but I still hate them for turning Florida into a dip stick.

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704025304575285000265955016.html">/snip

[Demeter]

1. I SHOULD Invest In Companies I Hate

because it would GUARANTEE their swift demise. Stop the Presses! I'm switching to the GOP, and hanging teabags on my visor!

Bet the Catholic Church would take me back, too!

[dem mba]

6. you're not a Cubs fan by any chance are you?

just wondering where the source of your cynicism is coming from.

:P

[Demeter]

7. No. Politics Is My Sport

and when the one I vote for wins, then I'm always bitterly disappointed.

[teknomanzer]

10. Whats this about the Catholic church taking you back?

I thought YOU broke up with them?

[lunasun]

2. Those public companies are legally bound to make decisions that benefit stockholders,

finacially , of course .
So go fuck yourself if your think it's worth it as a stockholder.

IMHO socially responsible investments do put your$$s where your mouth is and screened portfolios are waiting! Much more effective .

[obxhead]

3. so, "How's it feel to be a disgruntled victim?"

I'm in the same boat, but I see some value to the post. If for nothing else it shows the mindset of some investors.

[4lbs]

4. Why couldn't one invest in these greedy companies and make lots of money.

Then use those profits to invest in progressive causes?

[dem mba]

5. I would imagine Elton John agrees with you

heh.

[Chef Eric]

8. To all BP investors: You're still going to be living on this polluted planet, right?

So I guess you'll be victims of sorts too. By the way, you might want to invest in Halliburton while you're at it. As you know, they're doing remarkable things in Afghanistan and Iraq.

[dem mba]

9. I had to take a look at HAL

their stock is actually not doing very well compared to the Bush years. Gee, I wonder why that is?

I'm of the opinion that there is no such thing as a "good" publicly traded company. They're all selfish, money-grubbing whores, as they should be. Some just have better PR departments than others.

Certainly, some industries (oil and coal, military industrial complex, etc) are almost evil by design. Can we effectively diversify our portfolios if we never tap into certain segments of the economy because they are too "evil"?

Can you even name a company that doesn't outsource? Has no issues with unions? Has their executives paid in a reasonable fashion? Contributes in some way to a productive and more meaningful society??

So if we come to the sad conclusion that most companies engage in some type of unfavorable behavior then we should stay out of stocks and bonds. We can either sit on our money, or invest it in what? Gold? FX markets? Real estate? Well, there's plenty of shadiness in those areas too.

Savings accounts are yielding about 1% right now, not exactly anything to get excited about. Oh yea, I almost forget about all the banking scandals. I guess banks are kinda evil too. Hm, maybe money really is the root of all evil...