Democratic Underground Latest Greatest Lobby Journals Search Options Help Login
Google

Teabaggers disrupt the Sermon on the Mount

Printer-friendly format Printer-friendly format
Printer-friendly format Email this thread to a friend
Printer-friendly format Bookmark this thread
This topic is archived.
Home » Discuss » Editorials & Other Articles Donate to DU
 
Joanne98 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-08-09 12:45 PM
Original message
Teabaggers disrupt the Sermon on the Mount

Yesterday, Jesus of Nazareth held a town hall style meeting on the Mount of Olives in order to expound on his plan for spiritual reform. Egged on by sophists, epicureans and other rightwing philsophers -- a group of angry protesters showed up to shout down Jesus and he tried to talk to his gathering flock of interested listeners.

As Jesus opened his mouth to explain that "blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven," the raucus members of the crowd attempted to shout him down:

WHAT'S WRONG WITH PROFIT?!? THIS IS THE ROMAN EMPIRE! SPIRITUAL REFORM IS SOCIALISM!

Undeterred, Jesus persisted in trying to explain his ideas or spiritual reform:

Hesiod's diary :: :: "Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth."

THE MEEK ARE WEAK! THE MEEK ARE WEAK! THE MEEK ARE WEEK! JUST SAY NO!

"Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy."

PILATE IS MY MESSIAH! JESUS HATES FREEDOM!

"Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil."

LIAR! KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF OF MY SHEKELS! YOU WANT TO KILL OLD PEOPLE!

"Agree with thine adversary quickly, whiles thou art in the way with him; lest at any time the adversary deliver thee to the judge, and the judge deliver thee to the officer, and thou be cast into prison.

Verily I say unto thee, Thou shalt by no means come out thence, till thou hast paid the uttermost farthing."

JESUS WANTS TO RAISE MY TAXES! TAXES ARE THEFT!



"But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also.

And if any man will sue thee at the law, and take away thy coat, let him have thy cloak also."

JES-HITLER IS IN THE POCKET OF THE TRIAL LAWYERS!


"Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal:

But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal:

For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also."

JESUSISM IS SOCIALISM!

"No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon."

KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF MY MAMMONCARE! KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF MY MAMMONCARE!

Every time Jesus tried to speak, the sign wielding throng interrupted with a shout. The Centurians were forced to come to the Mount of Olives and restore Order. They arrested Jesus for disturbing the peace and disorderly conduct.

Amen.

http://www.dailykos.com/storyonly/2009/8/8/763733/-Teab...
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top

Home » Discuss » Editorials & Other Articles Donate to DU

Powered by DCForum+ Version 1.1 Copyright 1997-2002 DCScripts.com
Software has been extensively modified by the DU administrators


Important Notices: By participating on this discussion board, visitors agree to abide by the rules outlined on our Rules page. Messages posted on the Democratic Underground Discussion Forums are the opinions of the individuals who post them, and do not necessarily represent the opinions of Democratic Underground, LLC.

Home  |  Discussion Forums  |  Journals |  Store  |  Donate

About DU  |  Contact Us  |  Privacy Policy

Got a message for Democratic Underground? Click here to send us a message.

© 2001 - 2011 Democratic Underground, LLC