Glenn Beck Saved My Life

[Think82]

In recent days, I was feeling lost. Two wars we seem to be stuck in without end, a financial meltdown occurring right before us, and me, equipped with just this tiny little political satire column to try to change things. I felt like I was not in control of my own destiny. That life was hopeless. But then, one man saved my life. That man was Glenn Beck.

He gave me the 9 principles, and the 12 values. Now, my life has meaning. I'd like to take the opportunity to look into each one of these sacred 9 principles, with the hope that my interpretation might illuminate WHAT THE *#($ HE IS TALKING ABOUT!

Here they are...
more: http://www.examiner.com/x-2895-LA-Political-Satire-Examiner~y2009m3d14-Glenn-Beck-saved-my-life

[Critters2]

1. Only one possible response to this:

:puke:

[Yavapai]

3. You said it all !!!

:puke:

[MaineYooper]

5. You can safely click the link. The whole thing is satire

The writer feels the way most sentient beings do about GB- that he's an idiot.

[Critters2]

6. Oh, thank God!

Sometimes I fear I may be the last sane creature on the planet. Then I come to DU, and I feel better. :hug:

[Think82]

2. The piece is satire, fyi.

nt

[Tangerine LaBamba]

4. I'm afraid to click onto that link

Someone is either nuts or really goofing on DU.

I can't take that chance....................

[Garbo 2004]

7. The link says examiner.com....LA political satire. It's a satirical piece. n/t

[Cheap_Trick]

8. I had my own take on Becky's so-called "principles"

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=103&topic_id=432756&mesg_id=432756

Glenn, if I had ONE thing in common with you, I'd immediately walk into oncoming traffic.

You have the ethics of a pimp in a bolivian whore house.

Allow me to clarify your "principles" (clarifications in bold):

1. America is good. At least it will be when we can steal another election and drive this country into the ground once and for all.

2. I believe in God and He is the Center of my Life. And I believe in using blind faith to control the weak minded. I Also believe That I will Randomly capitalize Words as I see Fit.

3. I must always try to be a more honest person than I was yesterday. Of course, I will fail miserably EVERYDAY.

4. The family is sacred. My spouse and I are the ultimate authority (and Mistress Ivana, when I pay her to be), not the government.

5. If you break the law you pay the penalty. Justice is blind and no one is above it. Except of course the Bush administration and cronies. And anybody with an (R) after their name.

6. I have a right to life, liberty and pursuit of happiness, but there is no guarantee of equal results. Meaning if you're poor or middle class and work hard, we're gonna screw you and take what's yours.

7. I work hard for what I have and I will share it with who I want to. Government cannot force me to be charitable. Meaning I love making the middle class pay our tax burden, the way God intended.

8. It is not un-American for me to disagree with authority or to share my personal opinion. At least it isn't now. For the last 8 years it was, when we were in charge.

9. The government works for me. I do not answer to them, they answer to me. And with the help of Mistress Ivana, we will be harsh task-mistresses.

[Think82]

9. Who is Mistress Ivana?

link?

[Cheap_Trick]

10. Just a commentary on his false piousness.

Surely he pays for sex on the side.....republican style. And most likely a Dominatrix since they have a pathological need to be dominated.

[burning rain]

11. I thought you were going to say something like...

you saw him and realized you'd better stop playing with rabid animals.