The Top 10 Conservative Idiots, No. 355

[top10]

The Top 10 Conservative Idiots, No. 355

January 12, 2009
Lump Of Coleman Edition

I'm back! So, did anything interesting happen while I was away? I mean, apart from the electoral annihilation of the Republican party, the humiliation of John McCain and Sarah Palin, and the complete collapse of the conservative agenda? Ha ha! Well, it turns out that despite magnificent Democratic victories last November, there are still plenty of conservative idiots who need to be smoked out of their caves and brought to justice. So here it is - the return of the Top 10. I'm not going to go back and cover everything that happened since I went on hiatus in October, we'll just start fresh with this week's batch.

Before I begin, I should point out that I'm now the primary caregiver to a three-month-old infant, so please forgive me if this column does not appear as regularly as it once did. I promise I will do my best to publish weekly, but I apologize in advance if I have to take weekends off every now and again.

On with the show! Norm Coleman (1) doesn't know when he's not wanted, Rush Limbaugh (2) cracks the irony meter, and Joe The Plumber (3) has a new job. Elsewhere, George W. Bush (4,5,7) isn't going gracefully, Dick Cheney (6) is in his last throes, and Sarah Palin (10) is desperately trying to stay relevant. Don't forget the key!



Norm Coleman

Back on November 6, 2008, Sen. Norm Coleman had some strong words for challenger Al Franken. According to the Associated Press:

Coleman declared himself the winner of Tuesday's election but Franken said he would let the recount play out, hoping it would erase the incumbent's 475-vote lead out of nearly 2.9 million ballots. State officials said the recount wouldn't start until mid-November and would likely take weeks.

"Yesterday the voters spoke. We prevailed," Coleman said Wednesday at a news conference. He noted Franken could opt to waive the recount.

"It's up to him whether such a step is worth the tax dollars it will take to conduct," Coleman said, telling reporters he would "step back" if he were in Franken's position.

Funnily enough, it turns out that the recount was worth it, because last week Minnesota's state canvassing board certified Al Franken as the winner by 225 votes. So now Coleman is in Franken's position, surely he'll have to take his own advice and "step back" in order to avoid rightful accusations of massive and blatant hypocrisy.

Sen. Norm Coleman said minutes ago that he will contest the result of the 2008 U.S. Senate election and take the result to court.

Ah, right.



Rush Limbaugh

Assuming Norm Coleman's ridiculous court challenge fails to impress, Al Franken will be seated as Minnesota's junior senator. This, of course, has the GOP in fits. OMG! Franken is a celebrity! Everyone knows that celebrities shouldn't be allowed to hold public office, except for J.C. Watts, Clint Eastwood, Steve Largent, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sonny Bono, Fred Thompson, Jim Bunning, and Ronald Reagan.

Republicans are also fuming about Franken's record of partisanship. According to Politico:

"I don't know if we've ever had an opponent who is so disliked by Republicans as Al Franken," said Minnesota Republican Party Chair Ron Carey, who cautioned that Coleman's election challenge could still turn the results back his way. "It's one thing to lose to an honorable opponent, but Al Franken is not considered an honorable opponent by Minnesota Republicans."

Yes, shame on Al Franken for cracking partisan jokes about Republicans and calling the oh-so-respectable Rush Limbaugh a "big fat idiot." Why, everyone knows that Republicans are never partisan, and would never stoop so low as to call Democrats names. Sure, over the past eight years top Republicans may have said stuff like, voting for Democrats will expose America to devastating terrorist attacks, or if the Democrats win the terrorists win, or the Democratic presidential nominee pals around with terrorists. But they didn't really mean it.

And speaking of the big fat idiot himself, Limbaugh also had a go at Franken last week.

Republicans outside Minnesota are equally apoplectic when it comes to Franken. Prominent conservative Rush Limbaugh, who Franken mocked in the title of one of his books, has already jabbed Franken on his radio show, telling listeners in December that Franken "won't quit (the Senate race) because he doesn't know how to get a real job ... He's a pathetic figure."

So let's see... Franken used to be a radio talk show host and now he's a United States senator. Meanwhile Limbaugh used to be a prescription drug addict and now he's a radio talk show host. Remind me again which one is the pathetic figure?



Joe The Plumber

I know what you're thinking: "Good lord, hasn't this dick gone away yet?" I'm afraid not. In fact, Samuel "Joe The Alleged Plumber" Wurzelbacher is truly living the American dream. One day he's got nothing better to do than stand around in the middle of the street asking Candidate Obama a question about taxes, the next thing you know he's a budding New York Times best-selling author and a soon-to-be-multi-platinum-selling recording artist. But just in case those careers don't pan out, Joe has got a backup plan. And if you thought Plan A was a joke, wait till you hear about Plan B.

Turns out Joe is now officially a war correspondent for conservative blogging group Pajamas Media. He travelled to Israel last week to - and I quote - "let their 'Average Joes' share their story, what they think, how they feel, especially with world opinion -- maybe get a real story out there."

According to AFP:

Hot-spots being considered for coverage are "the West Bank, Bethlehem (to investigate conditions for Christians there), southern Israel where the missiles are falling and, of course, as close as he can get to the Gaza border," (Pajamas Media chief executive Roger) Simon wrote.

Despite the obvious dangers, Joe is confident that his superior choice of religious deity will prevent him from coming to harm.

"Being a Christian, I'm pretty well protected by God, I believe. That's not saying he's going to stop a mortar for me, but you gotta take the chance," he added.

Ah, I can see it now...




George W. Bush

Spot the deliberate mistake:


Yes, it turns out that Our Great Leader is actually a life-size Gerry Anderson puppet, only slightly less realistic. And now it's time for a...

* GEORGE W. BUSH LEGACY UPDATE *
Bad news for the soon-to-be-ex-Commander-in-Chief, I'm afraid. According to a Think Progress report last week:

In 2007, President Bush told biographer Robert Draper that he would "replenish the ol' coffers" by going around and giving speeches after office, where he could make "ridiculous money." But it's unlikely that Bush will be rolling in the dough. Interviewed by the Daily Beast, a publisher said Bush will likely only receive "minimal interest" because of his unpopularity.

His unpopularity, and the fact that he he can't string more than two sentences together without drooling on his loafers.



George W. Bush

Torture doesn't work. If you want proof, all you need to know is that the worst president in U.S. history said last week that "the techniques were necessary and are necessary." There you have it - if Bush said it, it must be wrong.

But don't worry - you see, it's really just a matter of semantics. During an interview with Fox News...

"I firmly reject the word 'torture,'" Bush said.

That's right. He doesn't reject torture - he rejects the word torture.

I do hope it won't be too long before he has to pull a Ted Stevens and reject the word "guilty."



Dick Cheney

Meanwhile, Dick Cheney is entering the last throes of his vice presidency with a defiant take on the administration's record.

Vice President Dick Cheney says that his boss, President George W. Bush, has no need to apologize to the American people for not doing more to head off the financial calamity, saying no one saw the crisis coming.

During an interview Thursday with The Associated Press in his West Wing office, Cheney defended the administration's performance on an economy that is growing weaker daily and which recently collapsed in spectacular fashion. Cheney said that "nobody anywhere was smart enough to figure it out."

Now why does that sound familiar? Ah yes...

"I don't think anybody could have predicted that these people would take an airplane and slam it into the World Trade Center." -- Condoleezza Rice, May 16, 2002

Q: Did you anticipate the insurgency would be as bad as it is right now?

DONALD RUMSFELD: No.

-- Fox News transcript, September 29, 2004

"I don't think anybody anticipated the breach of the levees." -- George W. Bush, October 1, 2005

Yes, it seems that nobody in this administration could see anything coming.

On the other hand, they were some things they could see coming...

"We will be in Baghdad at the end of March. We can win without destruction." -- George W. Bush, February 22, 2003

JAY GARNER, HEAD OF IRAQ OFFICE OF RECONSTRUCTION AND HUMANITARIAN ASSISTANCE: I think it's going to cost billions of dollars.

DONALD RUMSFELD: My friend, if you think we're going to spend a billion dollars of our money over there, you are sadly mistaken.

-- Conversation included in an unpublished federal report, March 2003

"We believe he has, in fact, reconstituted nuclear weapons." -- Dick Cheney, March 16, 2003

"The good news is -- and it's hard for some to see it now -- that out of this chaos is going to come a fantastic Gulf Coast, like it was before. -- George W. Bush, September 2, 2005

"I'm confident we'll hold the White House in 2008." -- George W. Bush, February 25, 2008

George W. Bush

George W. Bush began his presidency with an enormous display of pettiness - the incoming administration invented dramatic tales of White House vandalism by outgoing Clinton staffers and sold them breathlessly to the media (via the Drudge Report) in an effort to trash Bill Clinton as his presidency ended. Months later it was proved that no such vandalism occurred, but by that time the media had moved on and the lie had become part of the conventional wisdom.

And so it is that Bush's presidency ends as it began. Recently Barack Obama asked the Bush administration if his family could move into Blair House - the president's guest house - a little early, so that his daughters could start their school term without too much fuss. Sorry! The White House refused the request on the grounds that there were "previously scheduled events" at Blair House which could not be moved.

And those "previously scheduled events" would be...? It turns out that only one person is staying overnight at Blair House during the two weeks prior to the inauguration on January 20 - that would be John Howard, the conservative former prime minister of Australia, who also happened to be a big booster of the war in Iraq. If you guessed that he's in DC to receive the Presidential Medal of Freedom, congratulations - you win a stuffed kookaburra.

Former British prime minister Tony Blair and Colombian President Alvaro Uribe (also in DC to receive the Medal of Freedom) decided to room elsewhere so as not to inconvenience President-Elect Obama. Apparently John Howard needed most of Blair House's 70,000 square feet of space, spanning 119 rooms, to accomodate his ego.

And so the Obamas have been forced to stay at the Hay-Adams Hotel (at taxpayer expense) until five days before the inauguration, when they'll finally be allowed to move in to Blair House.

Ten bucks says the Drudge Report will receive dramatic reports of vandalism after they move out.



George H.W. Bush

According to a report in the UK Telegraph last week:

The former American president George H.W. Bush has brushed aside the criticism for his son George W and said he would like to see his second son Jeb become president one day.

Mr Bush, who was president from 1989-93, said on Fox News that Jeb Bush, a former Florida governor, was well qualified to rise to the highest position in the land.

"I'd like to see him run," said Mr Bush. "I'd like to see him be president one day, or senator, whatever, yes I would."

Mr. President, I think I speak for everyone when I say

FUCK THAT.




John McCain

De ja vu! Last week former presidential candidate and current loser John McCain gave a press conference where he for some reason decided to blast fruit fly research. You may remember that Sarah Palin used this same line of attack to go after Congressional earmarks at the end of the disastrous Republican campaign last year. According to the Huffington Post:

After a long takedown of research into lobsters by the University of Maine that involves a "Lobster Cam," McCain, a Senator from Arizona, turned on the fruit flies, saying, "also, there's one in Paris that -- yes -- $212,000 for Olive Fruit Fly research in Paris, France."

During the campaign, Palin's criticism of fruit-fly research was heavily attacked by the scientific community, which argued that fruit flies, because of their brief life-spans, make up a cornerstone of scientific and medical research. In 1933, Thomas Hunt Morgan won a Nobel Prize for his work with fruit flies, which showed how genes are passed on through chromosomes.

You can hardly blame John for not noticing the ridicule heaped on Palin for this nonsense though. To be fair, he was alseep for most of the campaign.



Sarah Palin

And finally - speaking of Sarah Palin, it seems she's another one desperately clinging to the dying seconds of her fifteen minutes of fame. Last week the governor of Alaska gave a whining, finger-pointing interview to conservative filmmaker John Ziegler in which she reminded America why we're so glad to see the back of her.

It turns out that Palin was not to blame for coming across as a know-nothing imbecile during her interview with Katie Couric, it was in fact Katie Couric's fault for sitting there and watching while she did it. You know who else was to blame? The stupid McCain campaign for letting her do it.

Oh, and it was also Tina Fey's fault for doing an impression of her. Sure, one of Fey's skits did get big laughs by simply quoting Palin word-for-word, but, er, she took Palin out of context. Or something.

You know who else was to blame? The goshdarn liberal media. Why, if Palin were a Democrat, the press would never have been as nasty to her! Yes, I bet if the Democrats had run an unheard-of functionally illiterate moose-hunting former beauty queen with a secessionist husband and a pregnant unmarried teenage daughter for vice-president, the media would have said nothing at all.

I just pray to the comedy gods that Palin gets the Republican presidential nomination in 2012. She made herself a national laughing stock in twelve short weeks - imagine what she could do with a full year.

See you soon!

-- EarlG

[babylonsister]

1. No way! Treats for the kids! Thanks. nt

[jmpnfool]

51. woohoo!!! you're back.

Thank you.

[baldguy]

2. Oh, Top 10 Conservative Idiots! I have missed you so!

[cal04]

3. Congratulations and Welcome Back

great to see the top 10 Conservative Idiots back
Thanks

[tuvor]

4. I was hoping for one last TTCI before the current POTUS vacates.

Thanks!

[Tindalos]

5. Welcome back

and congratulations.

[NMDemDist2]

6. K&N and welcome back Poppa

I'll read it later, so glad you're back

[chwaliszewski]

7. Welcome back, EarlG!

Man, how I've missed TTCI. I'm still laughing about the Sarah Palin pic with her yelling 'Moose!'. Funny, funny shit.

[Hissyspit]

8. Long time, no see!

[CaliforniaPeggy]

9. Fantastic as always!

Glad you're back...

And congrats on daddyhood!

K&R

[OnyxCollie]

10. Hooray! The Top 10 is back! nt

[glowing]

11. Oh, thank you...

I've soooo missed this. Thanks for making my day. AND hope all is well with the new addition. Hold on fast, they grow up wayyy too quickly.

[SpookyCat]

12. Welcome Back!!!

I've missed Top 10 so very much!

[satya]

13. Happy to see that sleep deprivation does not dull your razor-sharp wit. Welcome back

and congratulations!

[NJCher]

14. bravo

Funny stuff. Love the illustrations and links, too.



Cher

[Bicoastal]

15. Hooray! K&R just for showing up!

[struggle4progress]

16. It's back!

Hope the kid's doing well!

[sakabatou]

17. ::huggles::

Welcome back.

[emilyg]

18. Good to see 'ya.

[Chipper Chat]

19. Thanks Earl G. I'm overjoyed and gushing happiness.

I joined DU after reading TTCI years ago. Take care of that baby and if you need help (with the idiots that is, not the baby) just ask.

[MrSlayer]

20. The TTCI is what originally lured me to this site.

It has been missed. Great job as usual Earl.

[Number23]

21. This could NOT have come at a better time!!

First time I've EVER rec'd a Top Ten and I'm happy to do if it will minimize some of the negativity and nonsense around here.

Great job!

[lutherj]

22. The TTCI is a big part of what helped me get through the last ten years!

Congrats and glad you're back. And even though we have Obama and a democratic majority in office, we're still going to need you, because the undead republican zombies are going to try to rise again and batter down the back door.

[Divine Discontent]

23. Come Back And Stay For Good This Time!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hRMBlFGtVJw

Make like Paul Young and stay for good this time! Ha... So good to see your Top 10!

Congrats on the youngling, and I hope you cherish the times you get to be doing it!

[Kibitzer 2006]

24. Steve Stivers (Looser, BS-Crazy, OH-15)

Welcome back! As I predicted in October, the tsunami of idiocy unleashed by your vacation was almost unbearable. As you note there was way too much idiocy to try to recapture, but I can't let the season pass without a memorial to Steve Stivers ( -OH-15)

Steve Stivers ( -OH-15) managed to lose the Congressional race in the reliably Republican 15th district to Mary Jo Kilroy (D-newly-OH-15) by a margin of 45.6% to 45.6%, according to that liberal blog known as The New York Times. Of course the even more liberal blog known as the Ohio Secretary of State fudged the numbers to make it 45.94% to 45.18%. How did Steve accomplish this feat in a generally Republican district? Watch the greatest campaign ad ever (amateur, at that).

If you want to run for congress in the district that is home to OSU, you don't want to choose U of MI colors for your campaign theme. You just don't.

--Kibitzer

[SallyMander]

61. I was SO happy to see the back of that guy!

He lives in my neighborhood so i still see him -- but not in DC!

Here's a pic of me and our new DEM congresswoman!

[Dollface]

66. OMG that is hysterical. (I am a Michigan -Ohio crossover but I'm not saying which way)

GO BLUE! oops

[hangman86]

25. Thank God!

TTCI withdrawal period is officially over! *sigh*

[Lucian]

26. I'm so glad to see the Top Ten back!

Welcome back, and congratulations on the little one!

[lob1]

27. That empty feeling has been filled. Welcome back.

[chemp]

28. Recommeded before reading! WHAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

welcome back! My Monday fix is back! That which drew me to DU back in 2001 has finally returned!

May baby Earl and the mother be in great health.

Now I will read!

[6000eliot]

29. Back and better than ever!

Congrats on the kid.

[MrsBrady]

30. thank you!

what a way to start my Monday morning with a good laugh
before I have to go stand out in the cold and valet cars at the airport!

Have fun changing those diapers!

[barbtries]

31. thank gawd you're back!!!

life as i know it has returned.

[machI]

32. Good list. How true, how true. n/t

[SalmonChantedEvening]

33. Welcome Back!

Did I ever need this.

Thanks EarlG, this is money from home.

Hug the baby for me please.

[Moosepoop]

34. You just made my week!!!

Seeing TCCI at the top of the page is the ONLY way to start a Monday morning!!
Welcome back, and thanks!!!!!!!!

[rasputin1952]

35. Bless You!

[mwb970]

36. Republicans are truly appalling.

Thanks for reminding us just how bad the other side really is. Welcome back!

[machI]

37. K&R

[ejbr]

38. YAY!!!

Can't read this now, but I had to K&R!! Congratulations again on the baby!!

[ejbr]

39. Okay, I couldn't wait!

That picture of Joe the so-called "plumber" in Gaza nearly had me pee my pants! And I don't have time to change before going to work! However, #10 was golden! Who's to blame and how the media would have treated a Democratic Palin.

You've still got it!

[peacefreak]

40. Good way to start a Monday morning.

Welcome back Papa EarlG. You've been missed. The Repubs are leaving office, but there's still going to be PLENTY of ground to cover. They're a (stinky) gift that keeps on giving. Kind of like the diapers you're dealing with!

[Archae]

41. Thanks, Earl.

Good to see the "Idiots" back.

[islandmkl]

42. i love the smell of ass-kickin' in the morning...

welcome back...you have been sorely missed...

and congrats on the baby...

[stlsaxman]

43. YAAYYY! Congrats Earl and welcome back!

TTCI always make my Monday bearable. This week is particularly grand!

[The_Commonist]

44. Hooray!!!

It's actually worth getting out of bed on Monday mornings again!
Congrats, and welcome back...

[Maeve]

45. Welcome back!!!! Too bad Cheney never read the SWT here at DU

They saw the economic crash coming a looong time ago....and called for better oversight of the bankers.

And EarlG---props on the parenting; lots of us have been there and we'd be glad to offer advice if you need any

[connecticut yankee]

46. Welcome Back!

May I add my welcome to the many that have preceded me.

We've really missed you. You brighten up my Mondays.

[4_TN_TITANS]

47. Thank-you, thank-you, thank-you!

Hands-down my favorite feature on DU. Welcome to the Dad's Club, EarlG !

[immoderate]

48. Yaaaayyyyyy! They're back!

--IMM

[MyOwnPeace]

49. Well, it's about time!

Seriously, TTCI was the only thing I had to look forward to on a Monday morning!
Glad to see you've not lost your edge. I expect you'll be just as good as before, if not even better. After all, you now have someone else for whom you want the world to be a better place.
Congrats and good luck!

[The Wizard]

50. Great as ususal and welcome back

To make up for lost ground, could you do a Top Eleven for a few weeks?
Top Ten Conservative Idiots is one of DU's best features.

[comtec]

52. What happened?

Before I begin, I should point out that I'm now the primary caregiver to a three-month-old infant, so please forgive me if this column does not appear as regularly as it once did. I promise I will do my best to publish weekly, but I apologize in advance if I have to take weekends off every now and again.

I know your wife has a baby but that makes it sound... bad...

I hope you're just referring to your wife being unemployed.

I hope all is well with you and your family.

Welcome back, great top 10 as always.

[EarlG]

72. Gosh

I see what you're getting at. No, it just means that my wife doesn't have the luxury of being able to telecommute to her job, so I'm taking care of the little guy during the day. All is well.

[comtec]

86. |RIGHT!

sorry... so much happening lately.
glad to hear all is well
Enjoy being a dad

[JohnnyRingo]

53. Welcome back & congratulations

This is what brought me to DU back in 2003.

Now that you're back, I won't hear excuses for missed columns though. If you need day care, I'll pack my bags and show up with Mary Freakin' Poppins at the drop of a DU mail. I'll even sweep your chimney for you while I'm there.

Hahaha... Seriously, I'm very happy for you and your family.

[BlancheSplanchnik]

54. TTIC is how I found out about DU years ago!!

AWESOMELY FUNNY!!!! annnnnnnd, trenchant!

[Grins]

55. Hey. Ease up on Bush, willya?

As usual, you got it wrong (sigh).

Bush didn't say "The good news is .. that out of this chaos is going to come a fantastic Gulf Coast...."; what he said was, "...out of this chaos is going to come a fantastic GOLF COURSE"; or something like that. See the difference?

Now watch this shot. And welcome back.

[Mad_Dem_X]

56. #7 just p*sses me off to no end

Not allowing the incoming First Family to stay at Blair House just reeks of racism.

Eight days until we're free from this motherfucker - I can't wait.

[sinkingfeeling]

57. So glad to see the 'Top 10' back!!

[Faygo Kid]

58. "He doesn't reject torture - he rejects the word torture." Says it all.

This edition was brilliant. Every FReeper should be forced to read it (those who can read, of course).

[AlabamaBrightBlueDot]

59. Well Butter My Biscuit!

Dammit.... good to see you back with one of my favorite things!

[SallyMander]

60. HOOORRRAAYYYYY!!!!

Thanks EarlG! The Top 10 is what brought me to DU in the first place, i am so happy to see it back.

Give that little baby a smooch from one of your fans.

[ladym55]

62. Welcome back, EarlG!!!

Thanks for bringing back my all-time favorite DU feature!!

You brightened up an otherwise blecchy Monday morning!



Enjoy the little one! As someone else said, they grow up FAST.

[tavalon]

63. It's so nice to have you back!

And I'm glad I'm not the only one prayin' to the goshdarn Gods to let us have her back in 2012. 12 weeks was too short. I would say we hardly knew her, but thanks to crack reporting on sites like these. we pretty well knew her by the convention, but she sure was the gift that kept on giving.

[pipi_k]

64. So glad to see you back with your column!!!!

In the year or two that I lurked before becoming a member, it was one of the things I enjoyed the most about DU...

Thank you for all your hard work!

[Soylent Brice]

65. i can't begin to explain how happy i am to see your return.

thanks EarlG!!!!!!

congrats on the baby!!!!

[Dollface]

67. WOOT! WOOT! WOOT! You're back and a daddy! Remember, its never to soon to start reading to the baby

Is it a GEarl?

[xxqqqzme]

68. They're baaack!

(Cheers, hoots, whistles from 'Top 10' starved fans.)


Three month old infant - what joys you have coming to you.

[krispos42]

69. Yay!!!!!!!!!

[Javaman]

70. EarlG!!! Dude!!! You so rule!!! So glad to have you back!!!

and a big congrats to you and yours on the addition to your family!!!

[msu2ba]

71. Congrats and Welcome Back!

The return of Top 10 and a Gerry Anderson reference.......I am in heaven!

[annabanana]

73. Fantastic!.. My favorite part was your response to Sorry Sarah's delusional

belief that, has she just been a Democrat.. well.. the media would have been So. Much. Nicer. to her...

Just like they are to all liberals.....

(and your description of her is dead on and laugh out loud funny)

[no limit]

74. Thank you for your hard work on this, this always brightens up my week.

Gald to see it back and congratulations on the kid!

[Irishonly]

75. Welcome back, Congratulations

Mondays are now better again. I really missed the ten. Congratulations and enjoy the baby.

[EarlG]

76. Thanks everyone

I really appreciate all the comments.

[YOY]

77. It's back and it's great!

n/t

[Unca Jim]

78. Ah, #8...

FUCK THAT!

So glad you're back!

[Twinguard]

79. k 'n r

[whistle]

80. Dick-heads on parade

[Juan_de_la_Dem]

81. Welcome back - you were missed. Congrats again.

[eepatt]

82. ttci

Welcome Back! I have really, really missed your weekly commentary. Parenthood is worth every worry, inconvenience and dirty diaper! I hope you and yours enjoy it and I hope you enjoy doing your column again. You are performing a valuable service.

[GinaMaria]

83. Welcome Back and Congratulations!

You were missed. Thanks for a great top 10. I'm partial to #8

[mlevans]

84. Seeing this feature once again has surely made my day.

And the picture of Joe the Ersatz Plumber, patron saint of swirlies, is absolutely priceless. Bravo!

[louis-t]

85. Yaaayy! TTCI is what brought me here in '03.

I loved Mondays after that.

[NorCalDem]

87. Holy Shit!!!

Top 10 Conservative Idiots is Back!!! This makes my new year!!

Thanks EarlG!!!!!!!!!!

[underpants]

88. Welcome back. Thanks. CONGRATS

to you momma and the baby

[eppur_se_muova]

89. Welcome back! Hate to carp, but "Joe The Alleged Plumber" is misleading ...

it's really Joe the UNLICENSED plumber.

[newtothegame]

90. Thanks n/t

[badgerpup]

91. K and R...of course.

EarlG!

Thanks for the Top Ten...it's been sorely missed!

[diane in sf]

92. Congrats on your baby!!! and welcome back to my favorite feature on the inter tubes!

[drmeow]

93. Happy dance!

Top 10 is back!!!!!

[happygoluckytoyou]

94. JOE THE PLUMBER... laying pipeline through the middle-east

ASKED WHY JEB DIDNT RUN IN 2008....... SR. BUSH "IT ISN'T THE RIGHT TIME"
ASKED WHEN WILL BE THE RIGHT TIME..... SR. BUSH "EIGHT YEARS AGO"

[JNelson6563]

95. I sure missed you!

[sallyseven]

96. I missed you very much.

So happy your back.

[Kaleko]

97. TTCI makes bearing the unbearable almost bearable.

Thus it counts as public service. Thank you, Earl.

[AllyCat]

98. Congratulations!!! And welcome back. Excellent as always!

Now get some sleep.

[madeline_con]

99. You haven't lost your touch.

Bravo, EarlG!

[Initech]

100. We may have won but the idiots arent going away any time soon.

Or quietly for that matter.

[skyounkin]

101. Just saying YAY!!!

and Welcome Back!!

Gratz on the child!!

[relayerbob]

102. Don't think for a second ...

that Limbaugh isn't still choking down pharmaceuticals.

[sofa king]

103. Ah, the Godiva chocolates of political commentary returns.

How I missed ye!

[pleah]

104. K&R

[AwakeAtLast]

105. Error: You've already recommended this thread

YAY! Top 10 is back!

[SpankMe]

106. Earl, you are a genius...

...and I missed your conservative idiots column. My life was empty. It is MANDATORY weekly reading for me.

I'll babysit your friggin' kid any time you want so you can write your column! My wife and I brought up two boys (now 6 and 10). So, I'm sure we can handle your little bundle of baby genius-boy.

I'll even supply the diapers for free!

[beyurslf]

107. YES!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!! It is BACK!

I came to this site YEARS ago, reading the Top 10 lists. I eventually joined and posted and learned and read and laughed and cried and everything over the years. I have MISSED this list. PLEASE PLEASE keep it up!

(And congrats on the baby!)

[Bassist Donna]

108. You made my week . . .

. . . and every week you write. I've missed you so! You have the gift of being able to succinctly say what is wrong with the idiotic thinking of all too many conservatives. And you make me laugh loudly as you do it. During the dark days of the Bush years (and I've thought of them that way since the beginning), you gave me hope.

Thanks.

Congratulations to you and your wife on your new baby! Enjoy.