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The New Republican Revolution
By David Glenn Cox
The king is dead, long live the king, Ronald Reagan’s 11th commandment, thou shalt not speak ill of other Republicans lies torn down and trampled in the dust. Replaced by the new mantra, survival, survival in the face of all challenge and all adversity and most of all survival even in the face of a bumbling presidential candidate.
The last two weeks for John McCain have been a difficult ones; the most difficult of the campaign, from his saying that the economy fundamentals are strong to a growing scandal with in the leadership of his campaign. A week ago McCain claimed that his chairman Rick Davis had stopped taking money from Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae years ago and then further challenging the media to investigate for themselves. Investigate they did and last Friday’s New York Times disclosed that Davis had been accepting $15,000 a month from Fannie and Freddie up until they were taken over by government regulators last month.
With twisted logic and convoluted reasoning the McCain campaign declared that Davis had accepted the money but hadn’t done any lobbying on Freddie or Fannie’s behalf. So what then is the reasoning behind them paying the money to Davis other than influence peddling? The McCain camp then changed tact and blamed the New York Times and added it to its Nixoneske enemy’s list. Along with, MSNBC, Time Magazine, Newsweek and David Letterman.
Pure McCain in its purest form, a short temper and a long memory then McCain announced that he would suspend his campaign, he would take his bat and ball and go home. But whispers from Washington said, “John, come to Washington, come lead the conservative house Republicans in our negotiations on the bail out proposal.”
“Me?” McCain said pointing at his chest. “You guys don’t even like me.” Then trotting out his favorite line like and old favorite shirt that should be thrown away, “I’ll never win Miss. Congeniality you know!”
“No they whispered you won’t” Then under their breath adding, “assholes usually don’t.” But that doesn’t matter John because if you go down then a lot of us are going down with you. Come to town and stand with us and when we strike a deal you’ll look like the hero!”
“Well Gee! Thanks!”
“Don’t mention it” they offered.
McCain shows up in Washington asking, “What do I do first?”
“Just wait, we are going to have a big meeting up at the White House at 4:00 o’clock then you’re going to be the center of attention.”
McCain sits at the table in the White House conference room and fiddles with his pen as house Republican leader Bohner starts dropping Bomb shells on the surprised attendee’s. “We have an alternative proposal, an alternative to the one that we have been negotiating on in good faith for the last week. We think that zeroing out capital gains taxes are important to a final solution. Oh and by the way we think that an insurance scheme with its ensuing regulatory board is the only solution that we will support.”
Treasury Secretary Paulson warned, “It would take months if not years to collect enough premiums to make a scheme like that feasible!”
Bohner countered, “You could borrow the money!”
“Borrow the money! That’s what you’ve said that you wouldn’t support in the first place!” Paulson cried.
“Be that as it may, that’s the deal take it our leave it! Right John?”
John sitting at the end of the table then did his best Ralph Cramden impersonation, “haumada, haumada, haumada, haumada,” gulp “I guess so.”
The Coup was complete, McCain had been tricked, slicked and bamboozled, rather than their leader McCain was their symbol impressed into service as their standard bearer. McCain then left Washington without saying a word, anxious now to get to Mississippi to the debate. Despite having said less than 24 hours before that he wouldn’t leave Washington until the bailout was resolved, his surrogates parced and trimmed that to substantial progress, but even that was questionable. Was substantial progress made by Friday night?
McCain was reported to have crammed on the plane ride to Mississippi and even to have practiced at a local high school. But what did he say? Recycled campaign slogans and even recycled jokes, stiff, wooden and full of emotional triggers instead of analytical answers. But what could he say? He is a captured soul; house Republicans now hold his future in their hands, if they were to say McCain was unhelpful it would be all over for him. But by standing behind McCain’s shield they can now do what ever they like. They saw the McCain campaign as going down in flames and they rescued him and now by God, they own him.
When asked during the debate if he would support the bailout package McCain hem hawed like a dog burnt by a hot stove, too nervous to take another close sniff. When pressed on the issue McCain mumbled with a non-committal, “I guess so,” That’s a presidential answer ladies and gentleman, “I guess so.” But what else could he say? He didn’t have time to email the house Republicans and ask and besides he doesn’t know how to email.
More importantly, McCain lost his independence when he went to the Washington meeting, he was overthrown by rebels in the Republican hinterlands. Who the leaders of the Coup are is not even known yet, as they haven’t emerged to identify themselves. Nor are they likely to before January because they have shanghaied a sailor to do their work for them.
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