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Episode 4: T Boone Coaches the Candidate

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ThShifties Donating Member (30 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-21-08 11:19 AM
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Episode 4: T Boone Coaches the Candidate
Around 4AM at the residence of the legendary billionaire. Pickens and his secret visitor, Senator McCain, have just finished a meal catered by the local Waffle House. They prepare to continue their tutoring sessions on economics.

McCain: wipes mouth with napkin Man, that was good. If I wasnt so famous, Id have breakfast at the Waffle House every morning.

Pickens: You might could chance it anyway, John. Now, whered we leave off?

McCain consults notes.

McCain: You were explaining why the oil companies dont really want to drill in Alaska.

Pickens: Right. Thats a easy one. The price of oil aint high enough.

McCain: It just recently hit $145 a barrel!

Pickens: But it aint gonna stay there, John. See, the only thing keepin the price up is your buddy and mine: manippleation. When that stops and it will stop, my dotty friend -- the pricell drop fastern a Cong sympathizer out the door of a Huey.

McCain: but I was told that stock speculation only accounted for maybe 30% of the price.

Pickens: Think about it, Johnny. Thirty percent of $130 leaves you with a final price of ninety. I realize you aint no geologist. But do you really think people can make beaucoup cash hackin through thousands of yards of frozen rock for a measly $90 a barrel?

McCain: I guess not.

Pickens: And spose it drops on down to $80? $70? Youre sittin there with all your men and equipment, and all of sudden youre brokern a preacher with a hole in the collection plate.

McCain: So thats why we havent already drilled in those other 80 million acres the Democrats are always going on about.

Pickens: I see the light come shinin, Lord.

McCain: The testimony from the oil executives sounded so sincere.

Pickens: You was makin eight figgers, youd sound sincere, too. Just remember: if it sounds too good to be true, its probably US energy policy.

McCain: This is very helpful, Boone. Of course, I cant do anything different than Im already doing. But at least I understand a little better.

Pickens: Then Ive done my part for America, God bless her mangy ass.

McCain: what would you do if you were in my position?

Pickens: Id hire me some of them Russky hackers and take a closer look at them votin machines.
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