Designer Vaginas, Anyone?

[marmar]

from the Guardian UK's Comment is Free, via AlterNet:




Designer Vaginas, Anyone?

By Cath Elliott, Comment Is Free. Posted January 11, 2008.

Hymenoplasty, vaginal tightening, revirgination, G-spot amplification and labial reduction are the latest craze for women with more money than sense.




Once you've had your breasts enhanced, your thighs sucked thin, your skin stretched taught over your cheekbones, and your lips pumped full of cow's tissue, what better way to finish off that perfect Barbie doll look than to have your genitals surgically remodeled and your pubic area waxed smooth? And if you're worried that your partner might be tempted to stray because you've had a couple of kids and things have started to sag a bit, what better way to guarantee his fidelity than to transform yourself into a porn queen lookalike with the fanny of a pre-pubescent girl?

Hymenoplasty, vaginal tightening, revirgination, G-spot amplification and labial reduction are the latest craze in cosmetic surgeries for women with more money than sense. Surgeries that were originally designed to help overcome some of the more debilitating side effects of childbirth have now been appropriated by an industry whose sole purpose is to convince women that they're imperfect and to profit from the plummeting self-esteem they promote.

In last week's Observer, Cristina Odone lauded hymenoplasty as "brilliantly subversive" and as "good news" for women. "After all," she chortled, "nowadays you don't have to be a virgin -- you just pretend to be one."

Well, sorry to burst your bubble Cristina, but having your hymen repaired to meet with societal expectations of a new bride's virginity, or having your vagina tightened as a gift to your husband so he can re-live that first night experience, is not "good news for women," not by any stretch of the imagination. Something's surely gone amiss if we're now celebrating voluntary mutilation as some kind of benchmark for women's progress.

We rightly condemn female genital mutilation (FGM) when it's forced on women and girls in the name of culture and tradition, yet we're quick to embrace it when it's sold to us packaged in the language of choice. There's a glaring inconsistency in the western notion of female empowerment, when enshrined within that is the right of women to go under the surgeon's knife in pursuit of a socially imposed model of physical perfection. It's no wonder we face accusations of hypocrisy and cultural imperialism, when glossy magazines carry worthy articles about the horrors of FGM in the developing world on the one page, and advertisements offering the latest in designer vaginas in the classified section at the back. ......(more)

The complete piece is at: http://www.alternet.org/healthwellness/73266/

[PDJane]

1. Uh.........no. Thank you.

It works just fine, and that's all that matters.

[shain from kane]

2. Looks like a cat fight.

[Kikosexy2]

22. I can have ...

one with teeth?....Attack of the Killer Pussy...

[shain from kane]

23. There's an old joke, where the punch line is ----

"That's it, kid, get 'em before they grow teeth."


I couldn't find the joke, but I did find this article on the internets ----(edited) ----

Can you imagine? Day in and day out, nothing but pap smears, and then one day you put in the speculum and there are some choppers staring back at you!

Well, that woman had a dermoid cyst. Dermoid cysts are derived from the outer layers of embryonic skin, and they are capable of growing hair and teeth and bones, anything that comes from the outer layers of the embryo. They can occur anywhere.

So this woman had one in the pelvic region and the cyst grew teeth, and when it ruptured through the wall where her uterus joins her vagina - there were the teeth. I had no idea there was so much about vaginal teeth in folklore and literature - it blew me away. It has a name too, "vagina dentata!"

Apparently this vaginal teeth motif is in myths and stories and even jokes all over the world, showing up as a symbol of aggression in women, or of weapons that they can use to rape and kill men. In many of the stories, apparently the women marry the men who detoothed their vaginas and made them safe.

[Kikosexy2]

27. You know a movie...

is coming out soon called "Teeth"...about vaginal dentata...it's a horror/drama/comedy...enough to make a man turn gay, haha! Can't wait to see it...not for squeamish...

[Ian David]

3. I'd buy a designer vagina. But apparently you need to be a woman. n/t

[BleedingHeartPatriot]

5. Oooo, Ian,

I see another DUzy in your future, :rofl:!

MKJ

[fenriswolf]

13. what are you talking about?

I'm sure alot of surgeons who do that kind of work specialize in their male clientelle (takes alot more skill to create one then to perfect one)

[whatchamacallit]

14. LOL eom

[AwakeAtLast]

31. Make sure you get one with a lotta bling!

;)




:rofl:

[CRH]

37. Would a woman who had a hymen repair be called a vagabond?n/t

[Kajsa]

4. Excellent post, marmar!

I can see reconstructive surgery to correct a medical condition.

But plastic surgery to recapture " the innocence of youth"?

i don't think so!

[BleedingHeartPatriot]

6. Believe this. Once you start cutting into any part of the body that isn't need of surgery,

or even when surgery is necessary, that body part will never be the same once the integrity of that area is compromised.

Scar tissue is unavoidable, and damaging the underlying ligatures is usually going to mean discomfort and pain for a long time or a lifetime.

Plus, if that area heals poorly, additional surgeries may be required, which then increases scar tissue and damage, and so forth.

And, that's if everything goes as anticipated. Things get really dicey if an infection occurs, particularly if spreads into the subcutaneous space.

Why anyone would think cutting up the vaginal area is anything but a recipe for disaster, well, I just don't know what to say. MKJ

[DCKit]

7. What's a lifetime of pain and antibiotics compared to a shiny, tiny new hoo hoo?

Sheesh, some people just don't get it. You probably don't appreciate the "hive of hornets stung my lips" or "I'm half a calorie away from death" looks either.

How dare y'all criticize the superficial!!!

[sce56]

32. Yep you can't always fool Mother Nature just ask this guy

Wacko Jacko

That is the down side of trying to improve it!

[awoke_in_2003]

8. I am a man, but

i can understand why a woman would want the g-spot amplification surgery. Every one deserves good orgasms.

[Demeter]

12. The Two Do Not Necessarily Have Anything to Do with Each Other

[RuleOfNah]

29. G-spot amplification?

I too am troubled by the trend yet fascinated by G-spot amplification. Do they go to 11 now?

[awoke_in_2003]

38. Yes, but requires an additional Spinal Tap. nt

[Uncle Joe]

9. Do they have any that come with air conditioning, sometimes it gets hot down there,

when I'm visiting?

[shain from kane]

10. Don't want to make them too frigid. After all , they do come with their fans.n/t

[Uncle Joe]

11. Good point.

:thumbsup:

[robinlynne]

15. oooooooooooooooooooh. Hell no.

[Bicoastal]

16. Sounds great!

I'll take three!

[shain from kane]

17. Tastes great, less filling. n/t

[BridgeTheGap]

18. Or save yourself a ton of money and buy the man in your life

a blow up doll!

[Forrest Greene]

19. "Nowadays you don't have to be a virgin -- you just pretend to be one."

That worked for my first girlfriend, way back in 1971.

But seriously, as a male, I say this not good enough. I demand reasearch & feasability studies on installing battery-operated, vibrating tubes in women, for the satisfaction & greater glory of me & my bands of brothers.

[shain from kane]

21. King Henry V: Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more; or close the wall up with

our English dead!

The title for the series and the book on which it is based comes from a speech delivered by Henry V of England before the Battle of Agincourt in William Shakespeare's Henry V; Act IV, Scene 3:

And Crispin Crispian shall ne'er go by,
From this day to the ending of the world,
But we in it shall be remember'd;
We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
For he to-day that sheds his blood with me
Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile,
This day shall gentle his condition:
And gentlemen in England now a-bed
Shall think themselves accursed they were not here,
And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
That fought with us upon Saint Crispin's day.

[Chulanowa]

20. So... vaginal plastic surgery... Does that make it squeak when...?

I'm ashamed that that was my first thought, was hearing the tupperware "rooooo-o-o-o-ob!" sound.

[kimmylavin]

24. Great.

Its not enough that I'm supposed to wax my eyebrows, shave my legs and armpits, use a variety of lotions and creams to smell good, dye my hair so as not to let anyone know that I'm aging, and hate my fat ass, but now I'm supposed to hate my vagina if it shows signs of wear and tear, so to speak?

I tell ya, this gets really tiring...

[sce56]

33. Well you know how plastic people can be here in LALA Land!

:spank:

[struggle4progress]

25. Coming next week: Afraid of being a brainiac, ma'am? Get a designer lobotomy!

[onethatcares]

26. I couldn't read this with out thinking

this is some sick stuff. I now found the reason women in gated communities look so drawn and dead, they think their hubbies are having affairs left and right because of how they look, talk about no self esteem at all.

[bemildred]

28. Sex with robots:

http://hardware.slashdot.org/hardware/07/12/14/1555245.shtml

[TankLV]

30. Wouldn't it be cheaper - and more satisfying - to get a new man?

God, how idiotic...

But I don't understand how you can stand wearing the high heals, let alone all the other stuff...

Just goes to show - it's always sumthin...

[MattSh]

34. And after 10 surgeries, what does a designer vagina look like...

Michael Jackson's face?

Yeeeech. No thank you.

:crazy:

[onethatcares]

35. you've all heard the joke about the facelift

that was renewed everytime a knot on the back of the womans' head was turned?

She ended up with a goatee.

[adadem]

36. Why in God's name

would any woman want to have her hymen back....the first time for a female virgin is painful...I don't get why a woman would want to go through that again except in situations where there is a cultural or religous reason and then only to save her future.

[Manifestor_of_Light]

39. One thing C sections are good for, I see.

Don't need the vaginal surgery. It sounds incredibly stupid anyway.

[Stump]

40. C-Sections are great...

nothing like keeping that vaginal integrity! :woohoo:

[krispos42]

41. Oh, good. The docs can offer a two-for-one with anal bleaching

Just, ah, make sure the bleach is applied while you're lying face up. Don't want any, yanno, dripping.



Or you could just do kegels. And get your guy to do'em, too.

[Ghost Dog]

42. Curious Google ads on my page associated with this one:

#
Traitement infarctus
Traitement infarctus du myocarde avec cellules staminales
www.Xcell-Center.com

#
Labia Plastic Surgery
Top 7 Sites About Plastic Surgery.
plasticssurgry.net

#
Genital Warts Photos Info
Genital Warts HPV Facts Learn Warts HPV STD's Transmission
www.GenitalWarts.com

#
Castell Safety
Trapped key interlocks, Drive Away & Lockout Tagout
www.castell.com

#
Chateau Laguiole
Amazing Selection & Prices! Blazing Fast Worldwide Shipping
www.ShorelineMarket.com

#4 looks especially weird (or maybe not, if chastity belts come to mind!);
#5 looks the most reasonable, assuming it refers to a fine French wine (I almost never click on these things, but let them show, while knowing that "Google is Watching You" for, as somebody once said here, educational reasons").

[Ghost Dog]

43. Ah! After posting I now also get:

#
HillaryClintonStore.com
T shirts, Buttons, Bumper Stickers, Signs, Hats, Jewelry & More
www.HillaryClintonStore.com

--> Double weird...

[CGowen]

44. I also have

#
Real Dolls For Sale
Fast and Insured Shipping, Warranty Silicone Real Dolls, Low Prices
www.BestRealDoll.com