The Top 10 Conservative Idiots, No. 292

[top10]

The Top 10 Conservative Idiots, No. 292

May 28, 2007
Celebrity Hot Tub Edition

This week, Randy "Duke" Cunningham (1) gets down and dirty, George W. Bush (3,5,6) tries so hard to scare the crap out of everyone that it even affects nearby birds, and John Boehner (7) goes boo-hoo. Enjoy, and don't forget the key!



Randy "Duke" Cunningham

Randy "Duke" Cunningham holds the dubious honor of receiving the longest prison sentence ever given to a member of Congress - eight years and four months, to be exact. Last week, TPM Muckraker received an advance copy of a new book entitled The Wrong Stuff: The Extraordinary Saga of Randy "Duke" Cunningham, the Most Corrupt Congressman Ever Caught, which apparently contains everything you ever wanted to know about the former Congressman - and quite a bit that I'm sure you never wanted to know. Like this:

...even Wilkes drew a line on what he would do for the congressman. For one thing, Wilkes was totally disgusted by the hot tub Cunningham put on the boat's deck during the autumn and winter. What repelled Wilkes -- and others invited to the parties -- was both the water Cunningham put in the hot tub and the congressman's penchant for using it while naked, even if everybody else at the party was clothed. Cunningham used water siphoned directly from the polluted Potomac River and never changed it out during the season. "Wilkes thought it was unbelievably dirty and joked if you got in there it would leave a dark water line on your chest," said one person familiar with the parties. "The water was so gross that very few people were willing to get into the hot tub other than Duke and his paramour."

Hmm. When Nancy Pelosi said that Democrats would "drain the swamp" after last year's elections, I had no idea that she was specifically referring to Duke Cunningham's hot tub.

(Although... given last week's capitulation to Bush on Iraq, it kinda makes sense. And that's all I'm going to say about that this week.)



The Bush Administration

Back in 2004 the Bush administration decided that it would be a good idea to create a television station which would broadcast propaganda into 22 countries across the Middle East. On February 14, 2004, Al Hurra (ironic trans: "the free one") was born.

According to Wikipedia, the purpose of Al Hurra is to "counter the biases that the United States government perceives in the Arab world's news media (specifically from Qatar-based Al Jazeera and United Arab Emirates-based Al Arabiya)." Back in 2004 they even aired an interview with Laura Bush.

But there's a problem: it turns out that Al Hurra "is run by executives and officials who cannot speak Arabic," according to ABC News. Therefore, somewhat unsurprisingly...

...the service has recently been caught broadcasting terrorist messages, including an hour-long tirade on the importance of anti-Jewish violence, among other questionable pieces.

(snip)

The station's gaffes have included broadcasting in December 2006 a 68-minute call to arms against Israelis by a senior figure of the terrorist group Hezbollah; deferential coverage of Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's Holocaust denial conference; and a factually flawed piece on a splinter group of Orthodox Jews who oppose the state of Israel, according to the Wall Street Journal, which has reported the network's travails for months.

But don't worry: Broadcasting Board of Governors member Joaquin Blaya has got things under control. Appearing before a congressional panel last week, he revealed that:

It has never been al Hurra's policy to "provide an open, live microphone to terrorists."

Well that's nice to know.

So let me get this straight. It costs the U.S. taxpayer $63 million a year to fund a TV channel which is supposed to broadcast pro-U.S. propaganda into the Middle East but instead broadcasts terrorist propaganda because the people who are supposed to be running the station don't speak Arabic.

I'm honestly not sure which part of that I find most ridiculous.



George W. Bush

Last week Our Great Leader held a press conference in the Rose Garden at the White House. And yes, he got crapped on by a bird.


But believe it or not, that wasn't the shittiest part of the press conference. Take this exchange with David Gregory, for example:

GREGORY: Mr. President, after the mistakes that have been made in this war, when you do as you did yesterday, where you raised two-year-old intelligence, talking about the threat posed by al Qaeda, it's met with increasing skepticism. The majority in the public, a growing number of Republicans, appear not to trust you any longer to be able to carry out this policy successfully. Can you explain why you believe you're still a credible messenger on the war?

CAPTAIN GUANO: I'm credible because I read the intelligence, David, and make it abundantly clear in plain terms that if we let up, we'll be attacked. And I firmly believe that.

Okay, question: if George W. Bush wants us to believe that he's credible because he reads the intelligence, what are we supposed to make of this?

U.S. intelligence agencies warned senior members of the Bush administration in early 2003 that invading Iraq could create instability that would give Iran and al Qaeda new opportunities to expand their influence, according to an upcoming Senate report.

Officials familiar with the Senate Intelligence Committee investigation also say analysts warned against U.S. domination in the region, which could increase extremist recruiting. The officials spoke on condition of anonymity because the report's declassification is not finished. It could be made public as soon as this week.

The committee also found that the warnings predicting what would happen after the U.S.-led invasion were circulated widely in government, including to the Pentagon and the Office of the Vice President. It wasn't clear whether President Bush was briefed.

So, er, not credible at all then.



Mark Uhl

Fighting them over there so we don't have to fight them over here, part one:

Two weeks ago, Dick Morris came up with a brilliant new rationale for keeping our troops in Iraq indefinitely. "One of the things, though, that I think the antiwar crowd has not considered," he said, "is that, if we're putting the Americans right within their arms' reach, they don't have to come to Wall Street to kill Americans." (See Idiots 290.)

Clever, eh? By feeding terrorists a steady diet of young American men and women in the streets of Baghdad, we can sleep safely at night knowing that they'll never come over here to blow us up.

Unless, of course, those terrorists don't happen to be "furriners" at all. According to Raw Story last week:

Mark Uhl, a student at Liberty University, was arrested today for possessing several homemade bombs which he told authorities he made to disrupt protesters at the funeral of Jerry Falwell.

The 19-year-old student, reportedly had six devices on his person or in his car when he was arrested. Some reports say the devices were gasoline-based "napalm" bombs.

Yes, it's a good job we've got all those religious extremists bottled up in Iraq instead of doing their dirty deeds on U.S. soil.



George W. Bush

Fighting them over there so we don't have to fight them over here, part two:

Terra alert! During last week's press conference, Our Great Leader warned that Osama bin Laden is back, baby:

President Bush on Wednesday sought to bolster his argument that terrorism in Iraq poses a threat to the U.S., offering details from previously classified intelligence to underscore his warning that the war was at a "pivotal moment."

The 2-year-old information, declassified by the White House a day earlier, provided new information about what Bush described as orders from Osama bin Laden to a key ally in Iraq, Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, to develop plans for terrorist strikes in other countries, including the United States.

Scary stuff! I have a few questions...

First, since there weren't any Al Qaeda terrorists in Iraq before we invaded in 2003, and now there are apparently Al Qaeda terrorists in Iraq who are trying to kill us, how exactly has the occupation made us safer?

Second, if the Bushies are so concerned about bin Laden attacking America, why did they shut down the CIA's "bin Laden unit" in 2006?

Third, if George W. Bush is convinced that Osama bin Laden poses a clear and present danger to the United States, why did he say in 2002 - just six months after the 9/11 attacks - "I wouldn't necessarily say he's at the center of any command structure. And, again, I don't know where he is. I - I'll repeat what I said. I truly am not that concerned about him."

I mean, I'm sure it all makes sense somewhere in the back of that rotten peanut George W. Bush calls a brain, but to the rest of us it just seems a bit weird.

Actually, allow me to juxtapose the rest of that 2002 statement against the warning that George gave last week. It'll give you a pretty good idea of just how badly Dubya has screwed us all:

GEORGE W. BUSH, MARCH 2002:

Well, as I say, we haven't heard much from him. And I wouldn't necessarily say he's at the center of any command structure. And, again, I don't know where he is. I -- I'll repeat what I said. I truly am not that concerned about him. I know he is on the run. I was concerned about him, when he had taken over a country. I was concerned about the fact that he was basically running Afghanistan and calling the shots for the Taliban.

But once we set out the policy and started executing the plan, he became -- we shoved him out more and more on the margins. He has no place to train his al Qaeda killers anymore. And if we -- excuse me for a minute -- and if we find a training camp, we'll take care of it. Either we will or our friends will. That's one of the things -- part of the new phase that's becoming apparent to the American people is that we're working closely with other governments to deny sanctuary, or training, or a place to hide, or a place to raise money.

GEORGE W. BUSH, MAY 2007:

I've often warned that if we fail in Iraq, the enemy will follow us home. Many ask: How do you know? Today, I'd like to share some information with you that attests to al Qaeda's intentions. According to our intelligence community, in January 2005, Osama bin Laden tasked the terrorist Zarqawi -- who was then al Qaeda's top leader in Iraq -- with forming a cell to conduct terrorist attacks outside of Iraq. Bin Laden emphasized that America should be Zarqawi's number one priority in terms of foreign attacks. Zarqawi welcomed this direction; he claimed that he had already come up with some good proposals.

To help Zarqawi in these efforts, our intelligence community reports that bin Laden then tasked one of his top terrorist operatives, Hamza Rabia, to send Zarqawi a briefing on al Qaeda's external operations, including information about operations against the American homeland. Our intelligence community reports that a senior al Qaeda leader, Abu Faraj al-Libi, went further and suggested that bin Laden actually send Rabia, himself, to Iraq to help plan external operations. Abu Faraj later speculated that if this effort proved successful, al Qaeda might one day prepare the majority of its external operations from Iraq.

So there you have it... Numbnuts wasn't concerned about bin Laden before the invasion of Iraq because he didn't have a base of operations. But now Numbnuts is telling us that he's worried about bin Laden because he's trying to use Iraq as a base of operations.

Gee, I wonder how that could have happened?



George W. Bush

And here's one more nuggest of nonsense from last week's press conference - it seems that George W. Bush has now resorted to threatening the lives of reporters' children in order to make a point. Here he is talking to David Gregory:

COMMANDER GUY: These people attacked us before we were in Iraq. They viciously attacked us before we were in Iraq, and they've been attacking ever since. They are a threat to your children, David...

And here he is talking to Jim Rutenberg:

COMMANDER GUY: I would hope our world hadn't become so cynical that they don't take the threats of al Qaeda seriously, because they're real. And it's a danger to the American people. It's a danger to your children, Jim.

Got that? If we leave Iraq, your children are toast.

Except George also said at the press conference:

COMMANDER GUY: We are there at the invitation of the Iraqi government. This is a sovereign nation. Twelve million people went to the polls to approve a constitution. It's their government's choice. If they were to say, leave, we would leave.

Confused? Don't be. John Aravosis at AmericaBlog explains it all:

So, in other words, if the Iraqi government asked us to leave, Bush would sacrifice your children and he'd even be willing to let the terrorists commit another September 11 here in America - remember, those were his words, that's what HE and the Republicans have repeatedly been saying would happen if we leave Iraq before "victory" - because what the Iraqi government wants is more important to Bush than the blood of "your children."

He is in so far over his head it isn't even funny.

John Boehner

Last week House Minority Leader John Boehner was so upset about the idea of withdrawing from Iraq that he broke down on the House floor. Watch the video and decide for yourself how many pina coladas Boehner had a lunchtime.

Here's the transcript:

Now a lot of my colleagues have heard me (gulp) make this statement, that I didn't come here to be a congressman (sniffle). I came here to do something. And I think the top of our list is providing (sob) for the safety and security of the American people (voice cracking). That's at the top of our list (lip trembling). After three thousand of our fellow citizens died at the hands of these terrorists, when are we going stand up and take them on?

Good question, John! Here are some others you might want to ask.

Why didn't we go after Osama bin Laden at Tora Bora when there was a chance to actually catch him?

Why did we decide to invade Iraq, which had nothing to do with 9/11?

Why did the Bush administration ignore the intelligence which said that invading Iraq would be a disaster?

Why did we take troops out of Afghanistan and move them into Iraq?

Why wasn't George W. Bush concerned about Osama bin Laden in 2002?

Why are we paying Pakistan $1 billion a year to help us catch bin Laden even though they decided last year to cut back on their counterterrorism efforts?

All good questions that you might want to ask the president next time you see him, John. And while we're asking questions, I've got one for you.

You and your Republican buddies keep telling us that "radical Islamists" only recognize and respect strength, which is why we have to stand strong, remain resolute, hang tough, etc.

So why are you blubbering like a little baby on the House floor? When Johnny-wonny cwys in public, doesn't that mean the terrorists have won?



Morality in Media

Since the 2006 elections, many have assumed that the right-wing's moral outrage machine has gone off the rails. But it's still rolling along - albeit very slowly, with a nasty clanking sound, and a lot of dirty smoke pouring out the back.

For a fresh glimpse into the twisted minds of the Moral Moronity, take a look at this press release from anti-porn crusaders "Morality in Media":

On May 17, Morality in Media received a call from a citizen in Atlanta who reported that Delta Airlines had aired HBO's "Rome," with scenes of nudity and simulated sex, on overhead TV screens in the aisle. When he complained, he was told the program should have been available only on "private" screens. When he objected to showing "Rome" on "private" screens, he was told the airlines would be editing sexually explicit scenes to three seconds or less and that passengers who objected to content on "private" screens would be reseated.

Surely editing the content down to three seconds and making it available only on private screens would be acceptable, right?

Wrong!

Robert Peters, President of Morality in Media, had the following comments:

"When I fly, I often find myself watching programming that is exhibited on a screen controlled by a passenger seated adjacent to me or in a row ahead of me. These screens, like laptop computer or cell phone screens, are 'private' only in the sense that each passenger controls the programming."

Er, perhaps he shouldn't be such a nosy bastard. And he can't escape watching programming that's on a screen in a row ahead of him? He probably wouldn't have that problem if he didn't stand up and lean forward.

"Once the flight is underway, and especially when a flight is full, passengers can't just get up and go to another seat. Flight attendants must first find another passenger who wouldn't mind getting an eyeful of explicit sex on a nearby screen. If a parent and child want to move, attendants must find two passengers seated next to each other that are willing to move.

"And what if a parent is asleep or engrossed in a book when the sex heats up? What if a parent can't see the sexually explicit programming because his or her view is blocked?

Yeah, like, blocked by the seat in front of him, for example? And anyway, what if that happens? Oh no! My son caught a three-second glimpse of a dramatized sex scene on a three inch LCD screen five feet away! This could damage him for life!!!!

But seriously though - three seconds is apparently more than long enough for the devil to get in.

"Reportedly, Delta Airlines' solution to this dilemma is to edit nudity or explicit sex to three seconds or less. To put that in perspective Janet Jackson's breast was exposed for only 19/32 of a second on CBS TV during the 2004 Super Bowl halftime show."

I don't know what's worse... the fact that this guy is bricking a load over a hypothetical three-second glimpse of sex on a tiny airplane screen, or the fact that somebody actually measured the length of time that Janet Jackson's breast was exposed down to 32nds of a second.

Must have taken a lot of rewinding.



Leslie Unruh

Remember when wingnuts used to say that conservatism is all about facts and logic and liberalism is all about feelings and emotions? Since the Bush administration's disastrous and factually barren invasion of Iraq, times have changed. It's very rare these days to see a conservative on TV who isn't making some woo-woo appeal to raw emotion, logic be damned. Take Leslie Unruh, for example. Unruh is president of the National Abstinence Clearinghouse, an organization which, one would assume, would want to reduce teen pregnancy and abortion.

Apparently not. Unruh appeared on Your World With Neal Cavuto last week to debate Mary Alice Carr from NARAL on the topic of a new pill which allows women to eliminate their menstrual period at will. Now, the logic- and reason-based argument, as put forth by Carr, is that the pill is simply a form of contraception which has the added benefit of relieving women from painful periods. As another form of contraception, the pill will reduce unwanted pregnancies, and therefore also reduce abortions.

But of course Unruh was having none of that. First bear in mind that taking this pill is of course completely voluntary and women can stop taking it at any time if they want to have children - and now behold the powerful and oh-so-logical arguments of the right-wing:

"This is a real war on women and war on children. It's a gift to be able to have children and our fertility is precious to us, and we do not need big pharma, National Abortion Rights Action League, who have had a war on children and on babies to now come in with another drug and to play God."

(snip)

"Let me tell you about way out there. Way out there is playing God. Way out there is wanting us, women, who are feminine, and have fertility, and it's something to celebrate, wanting us to be like men, come on."

(snip)

"Planned Parenthood and NARAL have been out there trying to control women for many years and fertility is a gift, it's a wonderful thing. We need to celebrate our fertility. There are so many women that want to have children and the last thing they need is big pharma, pesticides being put into our bodies."

(snip)

"Attack on families and our children and women. I want more babies. More babies. We love babies."

Think Progress has the video...



David J. Gardner

And finally, it's time for another round of our new game, "Guess The Party Affiliation." I'll give you a recent news headline, and you try to guess which political party the person in the headline belongs to. Here we go!

Former Utah County politician faces sex charges

Can you guess? Here, let me give you some more clues...

Former Utah County Commissioner David J. Gardner was charged Friday with sexual battery in the alleged fondling of a 26-year-old Payson woman. Gardner, 52, served two terms as county commissioner from 1995 to 2002, during which time he was charged with misdemeanors three times.

(snip)

The woman told police that at Gardner's house, he kissed her, grabbed her buttocks and put his arm around her. The woman told police that she demanded to be taken back to the shop. While she drove, she told police, Gardner grabbed her inner thigh and rubbed it for nearly the entire trip.

Have you got it yet? I'll admit this was a tricky one, since Mr. Gardner's party affiliation was not mentioned in the original article. So here's the answer, from the Deseret News' "Top 10 News Stories of 2000."

A justice court judge ruled that Utah County Commissioner David Gardner, who pleaded no contest to drunken driving in 1999, violated his plea-in-abeyance agreement when he was convicted of disorderly conduct for berating a 9-year-old Springville boy. Gardner appealed the ruling, so the case will be decided anew at the district court level. In October, Gardner was charged with theft and a second DUI after an incident at a Provo massage parlor. Despite pressure from other commissioners and the county GOP, the Republican refuses to resign.

See you next week!

-- EarlG

[PBS Poll-435]

1. I was waiting all night for this!!!!

Thanks for not disappointing! :hug:

[philosophie_en_rose]

2. Listen, David Gregory. You don't know this history of psychiatry, I do.

:rofl:

Sometimes I wonder whether George W. Bush understands the words that come out of his mouth.

[Phredicles]

3. Sorry, but this week our congress earned at least a (dis)honorable

mention - the "leadership" and everyone who voted yes to keep funding Il Dunce's war. Certainly idiots, and for the week at least, conservatives in all but name.:puke:

[Gary Kleppe]

40. I agree.

I generally support Democrats, and I know that this is a partisan Democratic site, but we need to challenge our representatives when they do something outrageous or they'll keep doing it.

[pinto]

4. LOL. 'Captain Guano'. You are so on the big Homeland Security list.

Comments like that are next to sloth.

Wait a minute, next to gluttony...

No, adultery?

Whatever. You're bad.

Please remit your passport, driver's license and credit cards to 1600 Pennsylvania Ave.

We already have your social. }(

[emilyg]

5. Big Thank You.

[FloridaJudy]

6. Proudly fifth

Off to the Greatest Page with you!
:kick:

[Initech]

7. Aw man, why did the police have to interfere with #4?

We could have taken out both Falwell and Phelps at the same time! :evilgrin:

[Suich]

8. Re: Leslie Unruh

In the future I will strive to celebrate my fertility.

:rofl:

[kimmylavin]

14. Me too!

After my husband and I have saved up enough time and money to provide a good life to a couple of wanted kids, I'll celebrate my fertility all over the place.

Until then, I'm just a soldier in that war against god, women, families and babies. Thank Satan for the NuvaRing. :)

[jimlup]

15. Several times per day!

Yeah as often as possible!

[deepthought42]

42. Yeah, I'm celebrating it...

*pops another motrin* Let me near her and I'll show her how great fertility and mood swings can be!!!!! :argh:


Jeebus that lady is a freak... :crazy:

[eppur_se_muova]

9. But ... but ... how could it be 19/32 of a second?

US frame rate is 55/second! Sure, 33/55 is close, but why not call that 3/5 ? Sounds suspicious to me. Investigation is warranted, right after the latest American Idol "scandal".

[mwb970]

17. 55 frames per second?

I wondered about the 19/32 second figure for the Jackson breast as well. My understanding, though, is that the US (NTSC system) frame rate is in fact 29.97 Hz:

Frame Rate
The frame rate of NTSC is 29.97 frames per second (fps). Since 29.97 is a rather unwieldy number, most people simply refer to it as 30 fps to simplify things, yet when working with NTSC video and you have to specify a frame rate, always use 29.97.

Interlacing
Above I stated that the frame rate of NTSC was 29.97 fps. Well, in a way, that was a lie. In fact, there is no such thing as a frame in NTSC video. NTSC is made up of fields, not frames. A field is made up of every other horizontal scanline. One field contains all the odd numbered scanlines, then the next field will contain all the even numbered scanlines. A frame is actually just two consecutive fields viewed at the same time. This process is called interlacing.

Therefore, NTSC actually runs at 59.94 fields per second (again, this figure is often simplified as 60 fields per second). A common misconception is that frames are recorded and then split into fields, while in fact it is fields that are recorded and then combined into frames. This is important because it means that a still NTSC frame is not actually "still." There is a temporal difference of 1/60th of a second between fields, so in fact half of the frame's scanlines were recorded 1/60th of a second after the other half. Most of the times, this time difference is so small as to not be noticeable so the frame looks like a still. However, in some cases with very fast action or when very fine details appear in one field but not another, artifacts of the interlacing can be seen.

http://people.csail.mit.edu/tbuehler/video/ntsc.html

Hence, I was expecting the denominator to be 30, not 32 (or 55).

[eppur_se_muova]

30. Hmmm ... wonder where I got that. Must be old, corrupted memory.

Nothing like blowing the point of a 'nerd' joke.

[Hissyspit]

10. It must take so much willpower for David Gregory to just not say outright to Bush:

"You're just nuts, aren't you?"

[rpannier]

11. Amazing...

The party of family values and traditional morality strikes again.
But...I'm sure if you ask these moral crusaders they'll blame liberals, or the media...or San Francisco...or the French...or Hugo Chavez...or he's a liberal plant...or sunspots...or the 2nd Coming being delayed.

I'm sure republikkans and the 'American-Taliban Christian-Reich' have a very reasoned explaination for how it happened.

[SeattleGirl]

12. "The Moral Moronity"??????

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[lilypad_567]

13. conservative idiot

to number eight, why are these "christian," so concern about sex, if seems like they are obesse with sex, aren't they getting it enough at home, these people must have a lot of time or something to constantly think about sex, gosh,

to number 9, did you guys know That leslie uruh had an abortion as a young teenager, yes, go to planned parenthood, and look up leslie uruh, will she didn't love children enough as a teenager that is why she kill her baby, i sure that birth control would of prevented her from killing her baby as a teenager, also, i think that leslie urunh haven't adopted any kids, because she is too concern about saving stem cell, fetus's, making sure that women celebrate their, "fertility," and preventing birth control because they are controlling women.

[mwb970]

18. The Religious Right is obsessed with the vagina.

it seems like they are obsessed with sex, aren't they getting it enough at home, these people must have a lot of time or something to constantly think about sex

You are so right! I have long noticed that all - all - of the major "issues" the religious zealots are concerned about have to do with either sex, pregnancy, or childbirth, which share the common element of the female vagina and what goes into or comes out of it.

These people apparently see no moral dimension in a lethal, illegal war, nor in the ruination of the Earth and its environment, nor in fiscal irresponsibility that is sending America spiraling into debt. "Focus On the Family"? Don't kid me! They are focused entirely on the vagina and its doings:

- abortion
- gay sex and marriage (the "no vagina" problem)
- embryonic stem-cell research
- abstinence education
- condom distribution
- RU-486 and pharmacists

I could go on, but you get the idea. The question is, why does a single body part (which only half of us even have) so dominate the attention of the zealots, to the exclusion of every other aspect of human activity? Is this considered "normal"?

[VeggieTart]

28. And the problem with lesbian marriages is two vaginas.

But hey, it's nothing new for the antichoice to get abortions and then protest the clinics once they've healed. And finally, some refreshing honesty from the antisex group. They're all about the babies.

And as for NARAL and Planned Parenthood trying to "control" women, hey, Les, look in a mirror. Nobody is making me take birth control pills or use an IUD or a diaphragm. You're trying to force women to either cross their legs or risk pregnancy. It's the antichoice who are trying to control women.

I also think the warmongers--Bush, Cheney, Rummy, et al.--don't get enough sex, so they have to think of ways to kill people to blunt their frustration.

[Demeter]

16. If a Congressman Can Pull 8 Years in the Big House

how much for a pResident and his Vice? The Supremes? The Cabinet?

We could be seeing records in incarcerations, here!


Anybody have any popcorn left?

[cagoldensun5050]

36. Here ya go!

:popcorn: :popcorn: :popcorn: :popcorn: :popcorn:

And great job as always, EarlG! :applause: :yourock:

[SalmonChantedEvening]

19. Theft at a massage parlor?

Nope.

Don't wanna know what was stolen :rofl:

As always EarlG, a sterling effort.

:yourock: :applause: :pals:

[Mugsy]

20. On #5: Why link to story when we have video?

Bush's "Not concerned about bin Laden" comment on my YouTube page:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4PGmnz5Ow-o

[tavalon]

24. I actually prefer the transcript

Listening to that man makes me want to smash the TV/computer.

[momster]

21. Put Leslie Unruh In A Bathrobe On A Street Corner

and she'd sound right at home. Mumbling partial sentences about how Big This and Big That is poisoning our precious bodily fluids is the province of the shopping cart ladies. Big Pharma probably has a tiny little pill that would let Leslie live a normal life with people who love her if someone could only help her find it.

Oh, and I still maintain John Boehner had a little too much drinkie at lunch that day. On the vid, he sounds like an emo-drunk, alternately weeping and declaring his undying love for somebody he met two minutes earlier.

[uberllama42]

22. "If we're putting the Americans right within their arms' reach,

they don't have to come to Wall Street to kill Americans."

This is a remarkably candid admission of the government's priorities. 19-year-old poor kids are expendable as long as they protect the corporate fatcats on Wall Street.

[tavalon]

25. Yep

Accidental honesty from a rethug is a rare and yet, not beautiful thang!

[cagoldensun5050]

37. "They never stop thinking about ways to

harm our country and our people, and neither do we!"

"Actually, I thought we were going to do fine yesterday. Shows what I know!" - on 11/8/06

[tavalon]

23. Where's Monica?

While I never want to hear her squeeky voice again, I really think she merited a place on the top ten, if for no other reason than that she has a childish voice and an even more childish grasp of the rule of law.

But I understand. So many idiots, so little space in the top ten.

[cagoldensun5050]

38. This reminds me of Buzzflash, which I frequent every Friday...

http://gophypocrites.com/

So many GOP Hypocrites, so little time!

[Mugsy]

26. Two more idiots:

Should of been a "Top 12" this week. Here are two more "Conservative Idiots" that slipped under the wire:

Gingrich’s Gaff on Meet the Press: “What if…” analogy is EXACTLY what DID happen.

Newt Gingrich was on NBC’s “Meet the Press” Sunday morning and made one whopper of a gaff (last week) that I doubt most people even realized (certainly not Senator Dodd whom he was lecturing, nor apparently host Tim Russert), comparing waning U.S. support for the Iraqi government to French support of the Colonists during the Revolutionary war:

Newt: <…> “Prime Minister Maliki is doing the best he can in a chaotic environment, and he’s not a very strong person, but if– ­imagine we were the French in the 1700s, debating the American Continental Congress and saying, “Well, should we really send aid to these guys? I mean, they can’t even hold- ­you know, they’ve retreated to Lancaster. They’re not even in Philadelphia. They’ve lost New York. George Washington’s lost all these campaigns. This guy Washington has no major victories. I mean, why are we sending money over there?“

The former speaker may have written three books about the U.S. Civil War, but apparently he needs a refresher course on the “American Revolutionary War”. Now, if I remember my American history (and I DO), isn’t this EXACTLY what the French did do? They refused to support the Colonists… despite repeated pleas by Benjamin Franklin who was dispatched to France to beg the French Parliament to help the Colonists defeat their mutual enemy: England… until Gen. Washington proved he could win a few battles against the British. Washington had lost every encounter with the Redcoats until a *sneak attack* on Christmas Eve resulted in the capture of 1,000 Hessians (remember the famous painting of Washington crossing the Delaware? That was the infamous Xmas Eve raid).

“Digital History” describes it thusly:

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Also:

Did anyone else catch Dennis Miller on Leno last Friday making a complete ass of himself? Miller regaled the audience with what he thought were two "hilarious encounters" of Old Blue Eyes, Frank Sinatra, being a racist jackass, followed by his own misogynistic comments about Nancy Pelosi. There is no transcript or video out there yet, but Miller's comments went thusly:

First, he recited a time when someone threatened to punch out Sinatra to his face. Frank dared him, so the guy knocked him on his ass. Sinatra responded while picking himself off the floor with some comment about what happens when you confront "a Jew". This had Dennis rolling with laughter.

Next, Miller told a story first about how he invited "his (Spanish speaking) Nanny" with a funny name like "YaYa" (I forget exactly) to a gig to meet Frank Sinatra. Embarrassingly, she whips out her autograph book for the crooner to sign. Frank obliged, but couldn't figure out what she was telling him her name was due to her thick accent. Frank kept asking her, "What is your name? YuYu, GoGo?" (I forget the exact mispronunciations). When Miller finally saw what he wrote, the name he used wasn't even close (something like Oshkosh or whatever). This too had him laughing hysterically.

It was apparent in the way Dennis told these stories, the joke wasn't Sinatra's blatant racism, it was more about what a "curmudgeon" Frank was.

Then, after declaring his support for Rudy Giulliani, he likened the image of Nancy Pelosi being sworn in as Speaker of the House to "Charleton Heston in Planet of the Apes when he looked up and saw an ape on horseback" and suddenly realized the apes were in charge.

Funny stuff, Dennis. Jackass. I need to find the video.

[uberllama42]

27. The last thing we need is pesticides in our bodies?

You'd better stop eating meat and conventionally grown produce. The simple fact is that almost everything we put in our bodies contains either literal pesticides or chemical preservatives, which are indistinguishable in many ways.

I have a strong suspicion that these people who hate Big Pharma so much have no problem with Big Ag, Big Oil, or Big anything else. I know the Right is not monolithic, and their are some fanatical Christians who don't like Big Business (e.g. Glenn Beck). But if I had to lay money on it, I'd say these people are on board with other major corporations.

[AnnieBW]

29. #1 Ewwwww....

"Cunningham used water siphoned directly from the polluted Potomac River and never changed it out during the season."

Ewwwww.... Although it could be worse. He could have been hot tubbing in water from the Anacostia River. One wonders why he or his "paramour" didn't get any weird infections from being nekkid in untreated water?

[cagoldensun5050]

35. *vomits*

[ejbr]

31. Prime example of conservative idiot

#2

It costs the U.S. taxpayer $63 million a year to fund a TV channel which is supposed to broadcast pro-U.S. propaganda into the Middle East but instead broadcasts terrorist propaganda because the people who are supposed to be running the station don't speak Arabic.

The fact that conservatives are so fuckin' paranoid that they would refuse to hire Arabic speaking executives for fear of them being al queda, or that their fidelity to nepotism is so strong that they HAVE to hire cronies in lieu of America's safety (the irony of the positions being FOR America's safety is most certainly lost on them), just goes to show you that the stupidity of these people knows no bounds! They hire the unvetted arabic speaking journalists to air the programs, but refuse to ensure that those running the show know what they are doing.

And the MSM refuses to obsess over this ridiculousness! I know high school dropouts who would have known better than this! (Although I know some high school dropouts who are smarter than I...but I digress)

[deepthought42]

43. That and they keep firing Arabic-speaking soldiers

for having "the gay" :eyes:


Honestly... their stupidity knows no bounds...

[bunkerbuster1]

32. Are we sure Carl Levin doesn't belong on this list?

It may be harsh, but geez...

"I cannot vote ... to stop funding for our troops who are in harm's way," said Democratic Sen. Carl Levin, chairman of the Armed Services Committee.

if that's not worthy of inclusion among the Idiots, what is?

[Demeter]

39. My Favorite Senile Senator--He Will Go Voluntarily, I Hope!

I want to vote for somebody conscious, next time!

[knitter4democracy]

33. Robert Peters needs to learn how to read or knit.

That way, he won't find himself watching other people's porn on the plane.

[muntrv]

34. Nice to see Neil Cavuto giving Leslie Unruh a kiss on the buttocks.

Chris Matthews might have actually questioned Leslie's "forcin' wimin da pill" sqawk.

[FreeDemocrat]

41. Amazed they got the Gang Of Pirates connection at all.

If you look here http://www.wftv.com/news/10548040/detail.html">President Of Construction Company Arrested On Child Porn Charges
there is not one word that would suggest that this is a major GOP player, or Iraq War Profiteer. Except of course the headline that he owned a construction company and was a pervert.

With that info alone, an aware person could tell.

Federal prosecutor Cynthia Hawkins can't talk about the specifics of Irey's case, but said his case would be unusual if he did not have extremely violent pornography involving very young children.

“Torture, S&M bondage, rape of small toddlers,” Hawkins said describing the types of things they expected to find associated in similar instances.

And it's not only still pictures these days; Its video with sound. She said there's a demand for more and more shocking images, so the supply keeps growing.

Wow "Torture Of Toddlers" & "Violent Pornography" & "Not unusual"?
So they threw the book at him and locked him up and threw away the key , right? I mean on TV they say that such people are never "rehabilitated" but need to be hounded forever.

So How can you tell he is an important Republican? Instead of prison he goes into "therapy"http://www.orlandosentinel.com/news/local/orange/orl-childsex2206dec22,0,4790098.story"> Child-porn suspect freed for treatment
The indictment alleges Irey went outside the United States -- but does not specify where -- to get his images, but Hmmm Iraq war profiteer? I wonder where he got them? nobody is denying of confirming.