Big Girls Don't Cry (NYT - shouldn't cry in the corporate world)

[uniden]

"....Men are allowed to be more direct," said Marianne LaFrance, a psychology professor at Yale University. "They can pound table tops and yell and throw something against walls and do various kinds of physical acting out. Women's mode of expression is supposed to be more passive, more childlike." She continued, "If women could act out like men, there would probably be less tears."

Temper tantrums are typically frowned upon at the office, too, but they are still considered more acceptable than crying, said William H. Frey II, the director of the Alzheimer's Research Center at Regions Hospital in St. Paul and the author of "Crying: The Mystery of Tears." Nature may also make women more prone to tears than men, he said, explaining that both boys and girls cry about the same amount until the age of 12.

But by the time women reach 18, they are crying four times as much as men, said Dr. Frey, who has conducted research on behavioral, personality and genetic aspects of crying and who has also studied the chemistry of tears.

Scientists do not know exactly why women tend to cry more easily, but Dr. Frey said several factors may be at work. One is the hormone prolactin, he said, which is present in mammary glands and induces lactation but is also found in the blood and in tear glands. Boys and girls have about equal levels of prolactin levels in their blood during childhood. But from ages of 12 to 18, the levels in girls gradually rise, and that may have something to do with why women cry more than men."


http://www.nytimes.com/2005/10/13/fashion/thursdaystyles/13crying.html?pagewanted=print

[fortyfeetunder]

1. Another read on this topic

Dr. Lois Frankel, "Women, Anger and Depression".

The social norm regarding female response to anger is a contributing factor to depression.

[uniden]

3. is that because they don't slam things

and crying isn't good enough or...?

[fortyfeetunder]

5. A little more detail

First welcome to DU uniden! :hi:

An observation -- is some girls are groomed during childhood not to express anger. In contrast, some boys are groomed to express anger.
Therefore this misguided attempt in training does not give the tools to assertively express anger and this follows people in adulthood.

"Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm" - Unknown. "...

[Teaser]

6. speculation.

No one really knows whether this sort of thing is nature or nurture. It's likely both. There is probably some underlying expressive difference that culture builds on and amplifies. In these debates, both ides are usually right.

[uniden]

7. I'm sorry but hormones must have some role too

I don't buy the "we're all the same", because we aren't; 3 billion years of evolution can't just be replaced in a heart beat

[Ellen Forradalom]

2. that explains the sorry state

of my career

[beam me up scottie]

4. I cry when I'm REALLY angry.

When you see a woman do that, look the hell out, 'cuz she's dangerous.

[LosinIt]

9. Bingo, and that makes me even angrier because I have lost the upper hand

then I have to go back to square one and use another tack. That tack is generally a much more devious and dangerous one for whomever was the recipient of the tears. This puts said recipient at a double disadvantage. They weren't expacting the deviousness in the first place and then the teary-eyed episode put them in a state of total 'I'm in charge here'....

[Spinzonner]

8. So, men tear the place up and women tear the place up

Obviously a homographic puzzle

[darkmaestro019]

10. long time lurker, first time poster

: ) Had to weigh in on this--in late honor of National Coming Out Day I'll go ahead and out me as female-to-male transgendered.

So I'm in a unique position to say it is ABSOLUTELY hormonal, this crying thing. I transitioned at 24--which means testosterone injections. Before that, if I was angry, or being harassed by my abusive stepfuck, or just frustrated enough or having enough of a run of bad days, I'd cry. Even if I didn't want to--and believe me, I never really wanted to. : )

Now, even if I WANT to cry to sort of purge that nasty horrible built-up feeling, I can't. I can cry during extreme drunkenness, or staggering death-of-someone-dear grief--and not always then. The last time in recent memory, I cried over NOLA but it was more like eyes-leaking than sobbing. And I had to listen to the Animals' House of the Rising Sun to even manage that.

Also, I think this guy's way off about prolactin--I've had nothing done that would remove my "female" hormones. I think it's testosterone level, period.

There's my $.02. Much love to all of DU--you guys have been my sanity for a long time.

[AndreaCG]

11. Very interesting post

So do men who cry have lower testosterone levels? I suppose scientists could test this theory.

[newyawker99]

14. Hi darkmaestro019!!

Welcome to DU!! :toast:

[Demeter]

12. Women Cry Because They Know Men Could Be Better

They stop crying when they stop hoping, wishing and praying for an improvement in the men. With any luck, they then get mad enough to displace the incompetents and start fixing the world.

[uniden]

13. interesting take

I thought that's why (waiting for women to improve) men were always angry :)