New Army policy: Take slogan literally

[underpants]

http://benquirer.blogspot.com/

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Amid criticism that it can no longer reach its present recruitment goals due to the international disaster in Iraq, the U.S. Army has unveiled a new policy for recruitment that one anonymousus source called "foolproof."

The new policy is that the Army will officially become an "Army of One" (member).

"We couldn't reach the previous goal of 6,500, and that was after we secretly lowered our quota from 8,500 to that number!" said James Saxe, a recruiter from Missouri. "So, this new policy takes effect immediately."

The one lucky recruit will be tasked with relieving some of the 150,000 U.S. troops presently stationed in Iraq. Because of other shortages in the past, the lone recruit will be asked by all branches of the military to complete a variety of tasks, including but not limited to mine sweeping, sniping, water truck delivery, peace keeping, seek and destroy missions, ambushes, IED removal, and will also be responsible for cooking his own meals.

"And of course," said Saxe, "the recruit will be given the standard issue pay of $25,000. Hey, come on, we've got Halliburton truck drivers to think of here, so someone's going to have to sacrifice."