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Nation Descends into Chaos as the throat infection throw off Obama's Cadence

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iandhr (451 posts)  Journal Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list Sun Nov-08-09 09:42 PM
Original message
Nation Descends into Chaos as the throat infection throw off Obama's Cadence
Source: THE ONION

WASHINGTON—Looting, fires, and mass rioting swept across the nation today when a mild throat infection threw off President Barack Obama's normally reassuring and confident speech cadence, sources in every major city reported.

"My fellow Americans, please remain calm," Obama said during a nationally televised emergency address to the nation that caused the Dow Jones to plunge 50 points with every cough, sniffle, or wheeze. "Now is not the time for …everything's . Stop it."

Without the president's fluid, almost poetic tone to reassure them, the American people have abandoned all semblance of law and order and descended into a nationwide panic, burning buildings to the ground, disobeying police, and relinquishing all hope for the future.

"Run for your lives! The president no longer has a masterful yet unpretentious command of the English language!" citizens from coast to coast were heard to cry as they abandoned their jobs, homes, and families to forage in the woods for their very survival. "Without Obama's ability to turn even the most dire news into an uplifting and irresistibly quotable rhetorical gem, we'll never make it. All is lost! Nothing awaits now but utter darkness."

Read more: http://www.theonion.com/content/news/nation_descends_in...
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   Replies to this thread
   Are you high?  Why Syzygy   Nov-08-09 09:47 PM   #1 
   I approve.  truthisfreedom   Nov-08-09 09:50 PM   #2 
   wrong forum  grantcart   Nov-08-09 09:52 PM   #3 
   whats the right forum  iandhr   Nov-08-09 09:54 PM   # 
   Late Breaking News? I think not.  virgogal   Nov-08-09 09:54 PM   #4 
   someone needs to review the rules for posting in this forum.  CatWomanDU Moderator   Nov-08-09 10:00 PM   #5 
   this is a story written by The Onion.  ModeratorDU Moderator   Nov-08-09 10:01 PM   #6 
 
Why Syzygy Donating Member (1000+ posts)  Journal Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list Donate to DU! Sun Nov-08-09 09:47 PM
Response to Original message
1. Are you high?
Edited on Sun Nov-08-09 09:48 PM by Why Syzygy
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.ph...
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truthisfreedom (1000+ posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list Sun Nov-08-09 09:50 PM
Response to Original message
2. I approve.
If we can't have a little fun once in a while, we're not Democrats!
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grantcart Donating Member (1000+ posts)  Journal Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list Sun Nov-08-09 09:52 PM
Response to Original message
3. wrong forum
LBN keeps a strict enforcement on its rules.
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iandhr (451 posts)  Journal Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list Sun Nov-08-09 09:54 PM
Original message
whats the right forum
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virgogal (1000+ posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list Sun Nov-08-09 09:54 PM
Response to Original message
4. Late Breaking News? I think not.
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CatWoman DU Moderator Donating Member (1000+ posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list Sun Nov-08-09 10:00 PM
Response to Original message
5. someone needs to review the rules for posting in this forum.
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Moderator DU Moderator  (1000+ posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list Sun Nov-08-09 10:01 PM
Response to Original message
6. this is a story written by The Onion.
and does not meet LBN posting qualifications.
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DU AdBot (1000+ posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list Sat Nov 21st 2009, 07:40 PM
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