Temporary 'Enjoyment Marriages' In Vogue Again With Some Iraqis

[ckramer]

Fatima Ali was a 24-year-old divorcee with no high school diploma and no job. Shawket al-Rubae was a 34-year-old Shiite sheik with a pregnant wife who, he said, could not have sex with him.

Ali wanted someone to take care of her. Rubae wanted a companion

They met one afternoon in May at the house he shares with his wife, in the room where he accepts visitors seeking his religious counsel. He had a proposal. Would Ali be his temporary wife? He would pay her 5,000 Iraqi dinars upfront -- about $4 -- in addition to her monthly expenses. About twice a week over the next eight months, he would summon her to a house he would rent.

The negotiations took an hour and ended with an unwritten agreement, the couple recalled. Thus began their "mutaa," or enjoyment marriage, a temporary union believed by Shiite Muslims to be sanctioned by Islamic law.

The Shiite practice began 1,400 years ago, in what is now Iraq and other parts of the region, as a way to provide for war widows. Banned by President Saddam Hussein's Sunni-led government, it has regained popularity since the 2003 U.S.-led invasion of Iraq brought the majority Shiites to power, said clerics, women's rights activists and mutaa spouses.


http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/01/19/AR2007011901850.html

[UrbScotty]

1. Ahh, sanctity of marriage (nt)

[pokercat999]

11. The poor unwashed wretches, they should follow the

American example.:sarcasm:

[seriousstan]

2. A $4 whore. Gotta love that religion. Where do I join up?

[ckramer]

3. Do you want to be a "whore" or do you want to starve to death?

If you were Fatima Ali, what would you do?

[Warren Stupidity]

4. He also pays her living expenses.

At least their religion recognizes what is a common relationship arrangement all around the world, instead of pretending that keeping a mistress is an unpardonable sin for which both parties must burn in hell.

Through a mirror darkly, etc.

[pennylane100]

7. At least she doesn't have to stand on the street corner just to survive.

Its better than working the streets.

However, the hypocrisy of such an arrangement being sanctioned by Islam is too much. This is the same religion that encourages women to hide all visible parts of their body in the name of modesty. They have no such qualms when making sure that men sexual needs are met.

[treestar]

18. Yeah, that "modesty" is the protection of a male interest

No surprise there.

[CJCRANE]

23. It's no different to having a mistress

or what goes on anywhere in the world. The price is due to the Iraqi economy not the religion.

So, if low price is what you're looking for just pick a third world country and book a flight.

[crikkett]

28. You're a real charmer. n/t

[magellan]

5. A rich religious man takes advantage of a young woman with a bleak future

Same as it ever was.

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

6. If a child would result,

the man would be responsible for its financial support. So this type of arrangement has protections built in for any children that may result.

[rodeodance]

8. transparent (legal) prostitution is the way it sounds to me.

[rodeodance]

9. "It's a cover for prostitution," said Um Akram, a women's rights activist

.......Opponents of mutaa, most of them Sunni Arabs, say it is less about religious freedom and more about economic exploitation. Thousands of men are dying in the sectarian violence that has followed the invasion, leaving behind widows who must fend for themselves. Many young men are out of work and prefer temporary over permanent wives who require long-term financial commitments. In a mutaa arrangement, the woman is entitled to payment only for the duration of the marriage.

"It's a cover for prostitution," said Um Akram, a women's rights activist in Baghdad. "Some women, because they don't want to be prostitutes, they think that this is legal because it's got some kind of religious cover. But it is wrong, and they're still prostitutes from the society's point of view." Um Akram, like the mutaa spouses interviewed, asked that only parts of her name be published.

Many intellectuals consider ancient traditions such as these an obstacle to Iraq's effort to become a more modern, democratic society. In recent years, extremist religious groups have gained more power in Iraq.

"These steps are taking the whole country backwards and are definitely hurdles to the advancement of the country," said Hamdia Ahmed, a former member of parliament and a women's rights activist in Baghdad. "The only solution is to separate Islam from politics."

[Warren Stupidity]

13. Marriage is a cover for prostitution. nt.

[ckramer]

15. You are damn right

Women need protection, if they can get it anywhere by a reasonable means.

[CJCRANE]

25. I think it can prob be used

for a number of different purposes. In most islamic countries having a girlfriend or mistress is very difficult* so this is one way of sanctioning it (i.e. accepting human nature).

If it's prostitution then it seems to be a monogamous form of prostitution (for the woman, and for some of the men - of course muslim men can have up to four wives, but having two isn't that common and having more than that is very rare).

*on edit: I would guess, as I've only lived in one very small muslim majority country and don't have experience of the others.

[rodeodance]

10. SH had banned the practice and now Shiite want it back.

......Many Sunnis believe that the practice is outdated and ripe for abuse. They also see it as more evidence of Iranian influence on Iraqi life. Mutaa is widespread in Iran's Shiite theocratic state.

"It is a big insult to women," said Ibtsam Z. Alsha, a Sunni lawyer and the head of the organization Women for the Common Good of Women.

Women's rights activists also bemoan what they say is an increase in mutaa on college campuses. Some female students do it for money. Others do it for love when their parents forbid them to marry a man from another sect.

Amani, a 22-year-old Baghdad University engineering student, said she is a Sunni but agreed to enter into a mutaa relationship with her Shiite boyfriend because her parents disapproved of him. "I hated my family because they did not allow this marriage," she said. "I did this to spite my family."

[Warren Stupidity]

12. So the example of 'Amani' is bad for women how?

Seems to me that this provided Amani and her lover with a way of legitimizing their relationship that they would otherwise not have available to them.

[crikkett]

31. Here, here.

On our side of the world we can have flings if we want to, as many as we dare I guess, including the "temporary marriage" of cohabitation...

... and on this side of the world, if you beleive what's on TV anyway, most guys in a similar dalliance wouldn't dream of "taking care" of their "temporary wives". Muslims at least endeavor to give the situation a name and the people involved, a status. Is it because Western men are too cheap or are Western women too equal? We don't have equal rights, and we don't have equal pay, but we sure have more than equal responsibility. Furthermore, we're expected to want to jump every hard-on that crosses our paths for nothing and no reason.

So when I hear some #@*& respond to a story about a cultural practice not his own with something like "look a $4 whore" I can only feel sorrow at the level of misogyny that exists in my own society.

[ohio2007]

14. Shouldn't somebody get "stoned" for such behavior?

under sharia law, i would say the woman would get a death sentence for this
/sarc

[bunyip]

16. Both do, under SUNNI shari'a

An Iraqi friend of mine hates the idea of decriminalised prostitution, although he acknowledges it happens regardless.

Early in the occupation, Sistani and the new Iraqi govt decreed that family law would be replaced with shari'a (ie. the Shi'a interpretation therof). The US overruled them, but is being ignored.

Personally, I approve. Keeps an unwholesome industry out of the clutches of organised crime.

[JCMach1]

19. errr... No a form of mutaa marriage called Misyar

has become popular in Sunni parts of the Middle East...


No strings attached marriage enrages Gulf women
April 25, 2006

DUBAI, United Arab Emirates -- An Islamic tribunal's ruling that allows Sunni Muslim men to marry without having to live with or financially support their wives has enraged Gulf women's rights activists who say that Islamic marriage is unfair enough already.

The Mecca-based Islamic Jurisprudence Assembly announced on April 12 that so-called Misyar marriage - from the colloquial Gulf Arabic word for visitor - was permitted, drawing the ire of women in the region.

Kuwaiti activist Rula Dashti said that the move, which skirts around strict Islamic rules on extramarital sexual relationships and relieves men of almost all responsibility for their wives, "destroys the fundamentals of a family".

"The rights which would be abandoned by a woman are essential to build a stable family," said Dashti, who also heads the Kuwait Economic Society.

The controversial edict says "a marriage contract in which the woman relinquishes housing and support money ... and accepts that the man visits her in her house whenever he likes, day or night ... is valid".

Misyar marriage is sought after by men who want to avoid the burden of dowries and alimonies that are usually stipulated in standard Islamic marriage contracts.

But by giving up her rights with such a marriage, which is usually seen as temporary, the wife would not necessarily receive a penny when divorced... http://www.metimes.com/storyview.php?StoryID=20060425-070226-4676r



This is still very uncommon though... although now it has tacit approval in law.

[bunyip]

21. Thanks, JCMach1

Misyar is still not a temporary marriage.

But it's certainly an innovation. :evilgrin:

Less religous strictures in interpersonal relations, and more angry bewildered conservatives.

[JCMach1]

22. While not precisely the same... in practice it serves the same purpose

[treestar]

17. Sounds like a religion men should like

I suspect we will see some American men converting.

:rofl:

[CJCRANE]

24. I don't see how this is different

to having a mistress. The only difference is that the relationship isn't secret.

[Thickasabrick]

20. I wonder if shrub will cite this as an achievement in his SOTU...n/t

[CJCRANE]

26. You know, I would guess

that people of whatever religion or culture get up to pretty much the same things behind closed doors...

the main difference is how we present this socially to the outside world.

Case in point - RW pastors decry homosexuality and adultery* but they are involved just as much as everyone else.

*That's not to say homosexuality and adultery are similar things, they're not, it's the hypocrisy that's the point.

[nolabels]

27. I would guess that people with religious fantasies have a hard time........

excepting and understanding reality. This to such a point that they need ALL others to live in their ill conceived illusions also. Many centuries ago science proved that sex was as natural of an action for humans as being able to drink water. One of the results of science being able to prove the obvious is that good tasting potable water is much easier to find than wholesome life affirming religion.

[majorjohn]

29. The idea behind it was initially good

"....there are two kinds of marriage, a permanent and a fixed-time marriage. Some of the effects, which flow from these two kinds of marriage, are the same and some others are different. There are two distinctive features between them. One is that in a fixed -time marriage, a man and a woman enter into a contract to marry each other for a fixed period, on the expiry of which, if they wish, they can extend it, otherwise they separate."

<snip>

"The other distinguishing feature is that there is a greater freedom of choice in fixed-time marriage. The contracting parties may stipulate any conditions they like. For example, in a permanent marriage the husband is bound to maintain his wife and meet her daily expenses. Besides, he has to provide for her clothing, housing and other necessities of life like medicines and medical treatment etc. But in a fixed-time marriage everything depends on the terms of the contract. It is possible that the husband may not be able or may not be willing to bear the expenses of his wife, or the wife may not like to utilise her husband’s money."


Found this at: http://shiaonline.wordpress.com/2006/08/11/how-do-i-do-mutah/

[majorjohn]

30. 5000 Iraqi dinars (USD $4) is worth a lot in Iraq

The local Iraqi bakers would sell 40 buns for $1000 Iraqi dinars.






Got my info from this article: http://www.irinnews.org/report.asp?ReportID=33732

[PurityOfEssence]

32. Just like selling indulgences

Corrupt major religions always find a way to accommodate basic human needs, but they do so by taking a HUGE piece of the action. It's laughable.

[EFerrari]

34. Bingo.

What an ugly thing it would be to be that young woman caught up in such an imbalance of power.

[TroubleMan]

33. It's two consenting adults....we shouldn't judge them.

We can, however, be mad at the situation which made Ali want to be in such an arrangement. Of course, it would be interesting to wonder what Rubae's wife thinks about this. However, be mad at the environment that caused this....not at the participants.

[williesgirl]

35. Spread this story and the fundies will STOP THE WAR now because of it!

[jamesinca]

36. I would be divorced for getting some "mutaa"

That points out the differences in the cultures, etc.... I have an affair and don't get caught, I go get a prostitute, one night stand etc... I stay married. A temporary state of polygamy, and we know the official stance of the US on polygamy. Be it right or wrong, who are we to judge this practice? When we do judge it, how hypocritical are we as a society/culture and individuals? As far as my house goes, the rule is divorce for mutaa or anything like it.