Canada troops battle 10-ft Afghan marijuana plants

[ECH1969]

Canadian troops fighting Taliban militants in Afghanistan have stumbled across an unexpected and potent enemy -- almost impenetrable forests of 10-feet (three metre) high marijuana plants.

General Rick Hillier, chief of the Canadian defence staff, said on Thursday that Taliban fighters were using the forests as cover. In response, the crew of at least one armored car had camouflaged their vehicle with marijuana.

"We tried burning them with white phosphorous -- it didn't work. We tried burning them with diesel -- it didn't work. The plants are so full of water right now ... that we simply couldn't burn them," he said.

"A couple of brown plants on the edges of some of those (forests) did catch on fire. But a section of soldiers that was downwind from that had some ill effects and decided that was probably not the right course of action," Hillier said dryly.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20061012/od_uk_nm/oukoe_uk_c...

[keta11]

1. Wish I were a Canadian soldier right now

I'd be high as a punch!!

[ItNerd4life]

64. lol. Is it really worth joining the military, so you can get high?

New military slogan: Join the Army, see the world, get high!

[Drifter]

65. Send in some Dead Heads ...

They would be able to clear a path.

Cheers
Drifter

[jahyarain]

79. thanks, man!

[acmejack]

2. Ill effects, my dying ass.

People pay handsomely for those "ill"effects!

[KurtNYC]

67. Because the Canadians are used to much higher quality at home

Feral afghani stuff can't compete with sweet sticky BC bud. The Canadians are just spoiled.

[MissB]

3. Burn 'em up?

Wow. What a waste.

[ClintonTyree]

9. We do it here all the time...........

although we DO let them dry a bit first.

[Journeyman]

10. Not really. . .

Just have to do it one bowl at a time. It's a slow process, and no doubt dirty work, but someone wants to do it.

[0rganism]

16. "1st batallion, pre-sent bongs!"

"Your mission is to deprive the enemy of cover in this field! You will take this field and make it yours! You will smoke every damn bit of marijuana on this field! Dismissed!"

[htuttle]

22. Sir, Yes Sir!

[saigon68]

59. Look's like its time to "Fire UP"

[xchrom]

4. ''ill effects''? -- you mean high as a kite.

[zreosumgame]

5. ah another reason to legalize it!

sounds like it is one hell of a way to up-armor a dumb-vee in iraq...

[MrScorpio]

6. Hire about 20 or so Deadheads...

Problem solved

[4morewars]

17. Hey !

I resemble that remark !

[SlavesandBulldozers]

44. lol

[TroubleMan]

30. Buffalo Soldiers?

nt.

[martymar64]

37. Hooray for the Deadheads!

Light it up!

[madrchsod]

7. dude- this is like from the onion? really..come on dude

say it ain`t so...

come on you`re kidding.....


really.....


really?


dam no afghan hash......

[ClintonTyree]

8. I'll bet there are some mighty happy Canadian troops.......

in Afghanistan right now! This will help Canada's recruitment tremendously.

I only hope that they don't return to Canada................hooked on marijuana! I hear it's a horrible addiction and is a gateway drug to heroin (which Afghanistan is now FULL of as well) REEFER MADNESS!

[Bhaisahab]

60. no no dude. ganja is in no way a 'gateway' drug

i been bongin' for the last 6 years and the only gateway i crashed through was a horrible marriage.

[Wilber_Stool]

11. They're not burning them

the right way. Here, let me show 'ya how. Should only take a couple of years.

[Ex Lion Tamer]

12. Update: Canadian troops battle for control of potato chip factory.

Details at 11:00.

[NashVegas]

24. Bless Your Heart

[The Stranger]

25. --

That was really good.

[leftchick]

28. LOL!

[EFerrari]

38. LOL!

[lonestarnot]

50. And on to Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory. Battle rages on!

mmmmmm. mmmmm. m.

[Viva_La_Revolution]

56. ...

[Lurking Dem]

80. ROFLOL

That was awesome.

[Richard Steele]

13. Brilliant move: BURN IT! "A couple of brown plants ...did catch on fire."

"A couple of brown plants on the edges of
some of those (forests) did catch on fire.
But a section of soldiers that was downwind
from that had some ill effects and decided
that was probably not the right course of action,"
Hillier said dryly."

Would those "ill effects" have included eating
a week's worth of rations and then taking a
really long nap?

[0rganism]

14. "hey sarge, we need to try burning those plants again"

hahaha, this is just awesome -
"the crew of at least one armored car had camouflaged their vehicle with marijuana"
*replays scenes from Cheech & Chong movies in his long-term memory, looking for an appropriate metaphor*

[Pastiche423]

19. Hmmm

Maybe from Up in Smoke? Isn't that the one where they had an entire truck made out of pot?

[Webster Green]

15. Mmmm..........Hindu Kush!

Skunky and potent, I bet.

[jahyarain]

81. that's exactly

what i was reminiscing about! three summers ago, we had A LOT of it!

[hobbit709]

18. I think I'm hearing a new version

of "John Barleycorn Is Dead" running through my mind.

[Spinzonner]

20. Any named Audrey ?

[TacticalPeek]

21. R this up.

[Megahurtz]

23. Oh Huge Bummer!

LOL!

[mark414]

26. i bravely volunteer myself to take care of this devil weed problem

just give me a case of rolling papers and a nearby convenience store, SIR!

[sofa king]

48. Reporting for duty!

[Dr Fate]

27. Why not try drying them, then wrapping them in paper, THEN burn them.

What is all this phosphorus & diesel business? Is that how the kids do it now?

[kestrel91316]

29. Haven't these people ever heard of a machete? Or a weedwhacker???

Hell, import a few brush hogs.

Oh, wait, none of our troops have ever seen a farm, let alone farm equipment.

[htuttle]

36. When a pot plant gets to be 10' tall

...the main stalk is probably almost 2 inches in diameter, and not that easy to cut.

...or so I've heard.

[kestrel91316]

42. It's an annual. A brush hog (brush mower) would do it.

[htuttle]

43. Don't know much about those -- can they cut down small saplings?

When the stalks get that big around, they get very fibrous and woody.

[kestrel91316]

62. They can apparently handle small woody growth - they aren't

called BRUSH hogs for no reason, lol!

[HuffleClaw]

55. ...or so I've heard.

*snicker*

[Beetwasher]

90. Yeah, I've *ahem* Heard That Too!

It's very fibrous and difficult to cut, so they say.

[kestrel91316]

31. "the crew of at least one armored car had camouflaged their ve

hicle" with the plants.

Question: Was this before or AFTER they suffered the ill effects?

'Cause, you know, I'm suspecting that was AFTER.

[rodeodance]

32. i want to chuckle-----why 'battle' it.

....."A couple of brown plants on the edges of some of those (forests) did catch on fire. But a section of soldiers that was downwind from that had some ill effects and decided that was probably not the right course of action," Hillier said dryly.

[rodeodance]

33. what is 'white phosphorous --?

[eppur_se_muova]

71. Highly flammable, burns with an intensely hot flame and white light.

Used in signal shells, and as an incendiary. Apparently used by OUR Army against civilian targets in Fallujah. Oh, and the unburned phosphorous (easily volatilized) is poisonous.

[barb162]

34. I'm amazed anything grows there. It looks like solid desert.

[htuttle]

35. Hemp puts down an 18" tap root

The banning of it has lead to far worse erosion problems in places like Bangladesh.

[Blue_Tires]

39. that's a two-week supply for some folks i know!

[Qutzupalotl]

40. Heh. Who's winning?

[htuttle]

41. "We're parked, Man."

[barb162]

45. this headline reminds me of the movie "Day of the Triffids"

[marmar]

46. Hell, they might as well get some pleasure out of that misadventure....

But how do you light a 10-foot doobie?

[Canuckistanian]

47. Using the plants as "cover". Riiiight....

"Incoming! Let's duck in here!" "But Sir, there are underground bunkers 20 ft. away, over there..."

[HeeBGBz]

49. ""We tried burning them with white phosphorous

Ooh, power hit...

[Nolo_Contendre]

51. War is just a comedy. Call out the Cheech and Chong Battalion!

Let's have the generals tell funny anecdotes so people don't think about all the orphans, widows, the splattered brains, burned corpses, the maimed and hatred that our military adventurism inspires.

At least 273,648 killed and 576,853 seriously injured. Oh who cares, light up another blunt, shoot up another vein, and chase it with a pint of scotch. Ah yes, that feels better.

[darkism]

53. Mr. Burns to Lisa: "Are you ALWAYS on?" n/t

[NorthernSpy]

75. nolo contend(e)re...

As it happens, we already spend a goodly portion of our time talking about "all the orphans, widows, the splattered brains, burned corpses, the maimed and hatred that our military adventurism inspires".

Other times, we talk about Canadian soldiers battling giant pot plants.

What of it?




Oh, and the phrase is nolo contendere -- with three es, not two. It means, "I wish not to dispute". Funny, that...

[Zorra]

52. Guess they won't be smoking Hindu Kush skunk in Peoria this year. n/t

[HuffleClaw]

54. 'ill effects' bwhahaahahahhaaaaaa

man thats funny

[bikeboy]

57. Hillier said dryly

cotton mouth...no doubt

[TheGriz]

58. Hehehe

Well, I wouldn't want to get baked in a combat zone. I know it has been done but it doesn't sound like my idea of a good time.

We can be sure though that "the crew of at least one armored car" will be removing the camouflage on their vehicle when they get back to their FOB.

[semillama]

61. "Dude, if there's one thing I know how to do"

"it's drive when I'm stoned, man."

[davsand]

63. Sounds like that pot is kicking their ass.

"A couple of brown plants on the edges of some of those (forests) did catch on fire. But a section of soldiers that was downwind from that had some ill effects and decided that was probably not the right course of action," Hillier said dryly."


Duuuude, just sit for a while and that tidal wave will pass--trust me on this!





Laura

[ItNerd4life]

66. This thread delivers.

I'm laughing at all the comments.

[Solly Mack]

68. You know what they say....If you can't beat them, joint them

someone had to say it

[eppur_se_muova]

69. Guys...back off...take a few deep breaths...do the plants look like they'r

fighting now?

[Trillo]

70. Whatever happened to the South American fix?

Spraying with paraquat? Perhaps that was all media BS and psyops?

[Nihil]

78. Apparently the CIA warned them off ...

... in case the wind blew the paraquat onto their opium crop ...

[Karla Marx]

72. Talk about reefer madness

That is some monster bud!

[deadvoid_heretic]

73. Well at least they won't have to worry about Alzheimer's

[Lisa]

74. another reason not to cancel that medicinal marijuana programme ...

There had been complaints about the quality of the plants being grown underground in the "Rock Garden" in Northern Manitoba. So why not just cram some of the Afghan weed onto the cargo planes which are likely coming back to Canada empty?


http://www.hc-sc.gc.ca/dhp-mps/marihuana/index_e.html

[truthisfreedom]

76. i'm not sure this story needs a punch line.

maybe some munchies, but no punch line.

[Jamastiene]

77. What, the plants uprooted themselves like triffids and

started fighting back? Poor marijuana plants. Those Canadian troops ought not pick on them that way.

[slaveplanet]

82. This thread is missing something

and it's not the Idiot from a Texas village...

It's Pictures:

[DoYouEverWonder]

94. Damn

This stuff grows like bamboo there.

[Bullshot]

83. DUDE! Ay?

[evworldeditor]

84. If its hemp... they'll just get a headache

It's only marijuana if it has a THC content above 3%. Anything less is industrial hemp, which they grow legally in Canada, aye.

[Ms. Toad]

92. Probably hemp by that definition...

The 10' tall stuff that grows wild in Nebraska certainly isn't much good for smokin.

[Habibi]

85. Is this the latest recruiting tool?

[IndianaGreen]

97. It could easily be a recruiting tool

Afghanistan is a lost cause. Canada should pull her troops out, but as long as Harper is PM that won't happen.

[laylah]

86. I have battled a few

in my lifetime but never 10' tall ones!

Jenn

[twaddler01]

87. I hope they can beat em up!

They caused ill effects for crying out loud! LOL

[bamacrat]

88. Now that's incentive to enlist.

[Beetwasher]

89. Marijuana Is The Coolest Plant In the Universe! Is There Anything It CAN'T

Do?

"... that we simply couldn't burn them,"

[krkaufman]

91. I think this is just a recruiting ploy ...

... put forth by the propagandists in the Defense Department.

[boobooday]

93. Advice from Bush to Canadian Soldiers battling 10-ft ganga

Stay the course. You will prevail.

[Hekate]

95. What are they doing about the opium crop?

Funny about the pot -- grim about the opium poppies.

The Taliban suppressed opium cultivation with their usual delicate hand, but the poverty stricken farmers apparently had supplies of seed just waiting... Anyone else remember reading that the annual earnings of Afghan farmers were only a few thousand dollars a year? It occured to me then that it would make excellent policy to just pay these people NOT to grow poppies, and help divert their economy to something else.

Nah. Instead the world saw a bumper crop go out of the country and turn into nice cheap heroin.

Hekate

[nolabels]

96. The only thing they could be fighting is the evil demons in their mind.

Stop blaming the messenger. Lighting up a few bowls is not much different that getting shit faced at the local bar. It's that little smelly monster inside everybody that is being fought here. Light up a bowl and mellow out already. Stop blaming your circumstances for the thing you are inside. The self-righteous socially constrictive people you see hanging out in the pews are the same people who have a hard time understanding who and what they really are. Get a grip, figure it out and quit trying to do up the world to your own selfish liking for you are only destroying it in the process


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