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First let me say, that I wish you luck! I read your account and was horrified. Secondly, I agree with SheWhoMustBeObeyed, short and sweet is better in most cases. However, if you wish to keep it at its current length, then I have some suggestions. I have worked as a mediator and with discipline issues on a college level for over 10 years. It may be helpful, you will decide. I will copy your letter and insert my opinion/suggestions in bold, so this will be a long reply. Again, I wish you the best!
I called the strata (condo board) president and requested an emergency meeting. It's scheduled for Thursday. The irony is that I may be working through the meeting. I intend to either read or fax this message into the strata minutes...You need to be there. If at all POSSIBLE you should be there, IN PERSON! I stress this because it shows you are willing to face people. It may be a small thing, but a fax is just not the same. If you are unable to attend, your first paragraph should read something along the lines of.."I apologize for not attending; however, I was unable to get away from work."
This is what I plan to say to those in attendance (tell me what you think---does it make me sound insane?): I don't think your letter makes you sound insane! :)
I'm sure you've all heard (Perhaps you have heard...) about the incident in the parking garage last week. It was regrettable, ((but I want to make it clear that I accept no blame for it)) (Strike the part in double parentheses. It sounds arrogant. While it may be true, best to play conservatively.). I acted in self-defense after being verbally and physically assaulted by a resident of this building. I have a witness to this event, ((and am currently considering securing a civil order restraining this party from approaching me or my property)) (Again, strike the double parentheses. I don't know about Canadian law, but something like that statement can be viewed as a threat in US law. Also, there is NO need to tip your hand with what you may plan to do!). I hope this will not be necessary. (You won't need this if you strike that last part.) In case anyone is wondering, this was my first physical conflict since, well, ever. I am shocked and horrified by what (occurred)has occurred here. Any repeat of such an incident will result in my pressing charges. (Again, this is a threat. I don't know Canadian law, but this can be a real "no-no" in the States. Even, if it is not a threat in Canada, leave it out...it makes you sound aggressive!)
I don't care if you have decided to "take sides" or if you would rather just not be involved. The fact is, that each and every one of you with any knowledge of this event has formed an opinion of it. (Strike this whole paragraph! You are being presumptuous and it could play against you! You are the victim...PLAY IT UP!)
During this resident's tirade, he suggested that I was unwelcome in this building, by himself and, in his words, "most of the people who live here". I am sorry to hear that. I have held several social functions in my home, and I know that a few of you have accepted my invitations to come by to say hello. While I tend to keep to myself, my door is always open to my neighbours, and you are all welcome. I don't know what I may have done to cause any friction here, but I'm all ears if you'd like to inform me, either in person or though the structure of the strata. I strive to be a good neighbour, I'm quiet and I believe I treat this building and its residents with respect. Please inform me if you disagree, and I will take steps to resolve whatever issue you may have. (This is great! Be careful about being "too open" as you may all kinds showing up at your door! :) This paragraph shows you are willing to work with people and are open to others!!!! Great stuff!)
I have never been contacted by the strata managment over any such concerns. If any resindents/owners have complained to the strata about me, I have not received any such complaints. (Combine this with the last paragraph and perhaps, word it like..."As I have never been contacted by the strata management about any concerns, should you personally feel a need to contact me, I encourage that!" This may play better than saying, "I have never been reported, so there!")
I suggest the way to address such issues is directly, not as persons unknown did on Sunday; by leaving anonymous notes in my door-jamb reading "your (sic) not welcome here. you should move away". (This could been seen as aggressive. Maybe something like; "While I know one person has already contacted me with a note stating (what the note says). I feel this is counter-productive because it does not allow for an open dialogue and I cannot address specific issues.")
Also included in this resident's outburst was a reference to the attendance of police to see me in January. ((While I do not think the incident is anyones' business but mine and the police))("This was a highly personal experience; however..."), it appears that this is a 'hot topic' here, and in the interest of clearing up any misconceptions and putting your concerns at ease, I would like to take this time to assure you that the police were not here to seek prosecution, they were here for my protection. ((This is a matter stemming from a very acrimonious divorce which is now thankfully concluded. The short story is that my ex-wife has become an unstable person, consorting with a rather bad element, and that's why we are no longer together.)) (LEAVE THIS OUT! It may be true, but you are maligning another person who is not even there! Plus, it is NONE of their business!) Some information was obtained by a third party, and forwarded to the police, that ((she or an associate)) someone had intended to cause me harm, and some further confusion was the result. This situation has now been completely diffused. ((The long story is much, much longer, and really has no bearing on your lives.)) (You don't need this part.)
Also alleged, quite loudly by this resident, was an accusation that I am/was a spousal abuser. This is completely untrue, and incredibly offensive to me. ((Rest assured, further accounts of any such baseless allegations by this resident either directly to me or reported to me by anyone else will be forwarded to my attorney, and a defamation action will be considered.)) (This is also a "veiled threat." Leave it out. Perhaps you can say; "These allegations are wholly unfounded.")
((To further clear the air, for any of you who wish to pass judgment on me, I will authorise you to access the contents of my divorce hearing, or request a police background check on me. In fact, as I have never been on the bad side of the law, I encourage any such requests, if it will put you, my neighbours, at ease. I warn you, however, it would be far from exciting reading.)) (Again, this isn't really needed. It's too personal, and it isn't their damn business! It could also be seen as aggressive and patronizing. If they approach you on a personal basis, then suggest it.)
In fact, if you want to know anything about me (although I can’t imagine being so fascinating), please come right to the source. Ask me. (This is OK. Maybe make it a little 'softer.')
Following the incident in the parking garage, I briefly considered selling my home and moving from here. But I won't be bullied.
This is my home. ((I own it, and I'm staying. For a long, long time.)) (Leave this out...not needed.)
((I will likely buy subsequent units as they become available here. It is an excellent investment, as you all are aware.)) (Leave this out. Again, don't tip your hand!!!)
I'm very much in favour of everyone in our little community getting along. We don't have to like each other, but we are living together, so we should really try to make the best of it. (Add: " am more than willing to do this!")
Finally, I apologise for the state of my Jeep in the parking area last week. What began as a minor tune-up became an epic stuggle of man versus machine. I hope I have not inconvenienced any of you with the condition of my parking spot; I did keep the mess contained to my space, and you’ll be happy to know the crisis seems to be over. Further repairs, as required, will be done at a space I have rented for that specific purpose. (AWESOME!! Shows compromise on your part!!! You are the BIGGER person! Good for you!)
On a related topic, I have arranged to borrow a power-cleaner for Sunday April 9, and I will be happy to pressure wash the entire surface of the garage and garbage/recycling area, if this is agreeable to the strata. Of course I will absorb the costs of this cleaning, but will need access to an exterior spigot for the machine's water supply. This service may save the strata the expense of a professional cleaning at a later date. Pending strata approval, if you would like your parking space cleaned, please see that it’s vacant between 9:00am and 1:00pm on Sunday. If you would prefer I not clean your spot, please let Benoit know. (You are being a nice guy...but don't go too far! :))
Finally, please note my home number as listed on the strata phone list is incorrect, but I can be reached anytime via my work number.
Thank you for allowing me to voice my concerns.
(Canuck (I thought that was a slur??), I wish you the best. If you want more suggestions, let me know. I don't mean to be over-critical, but I just wanted to help you the best I could. If you are so inclined, I would like to know how things turn out!)
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