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LWolf Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-16-11 10:47 AM
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32. As a student,
I was the victim of some mild bullying in middle school; mocked and derided for being smart, and followed home on the bus once because I was an ex-girlfriend, and the new girlfriend wanted to establish territory by attacking me.

I attended 10 schools K-12; I didn't get bullied much, but by the time I hit middle school I was so used to being the new kid who wouldn't be there very long that I didn't bother to make many, sometimes any, social connections. I was good at avoiding people. I also didn't show the kind of intimidation that loners usually show; I was used to being on my own, and by the time I hit high school nobody bothered me.

In 8th grade I attended DeAnza Jr. High in Ventura; it was pretty rough. Girls fought every day. I never saw the guys fighting, but the girls were terrorists. Other than the girlfriend who followed me home, and she found her efforts unproductive, I was left alone. Because the biggest bully on the block didn't mess with me. She could have, but we had something in common. We met in the locker room, and both had "Double Ds" or better. She was the first person my age I'd ever met with BIGGER breasts than I. For some reason, she saw me as a fellow victim of sexual harassment, and she left me alone. I did see her, though, bullying others. She reigned as queen of the restroom in one block; she skipped class and hung out there frequently. Nobody got into that bathroom that she didn't approve of. She could be brutal.

My own kids? They didn't have any problem with bullying until they started high school. Then it was bad. Administration turned a blind eye and did not respond to parent requests for action, so my boys learned to travel in groups for protection. My younger son learned to fight pretty viciously; they caught him alone a couple of times. He did enough damage that they kept sending larger groups after him and he had to develop some pretty sophisticated avoidance techniques.

My grandson...we've had to work with him as a boy with potential to BE the bully; he has ODD, which includes an obsessive determination to "get his way," no matter what. He's made great progress, but has a way to go. He's been in middle school for a month, and has already been in trouble. Why? He snapped a towel at a kid in the locker room. He thought it was "funny," was "playing around," but the kid didn't. He chased my grandson down and gave him a thorough pounding. They were both suspended.

As a TEACHER? There has been some bullying among my students, but not much. We're a small school, and our structure makes it really hard for bullies to thrive. They get caught early and dealt with aggressively in terms of both consequences and opportunities to change. A new student who just started last month has been suspended 3 times already, we've had 3 long meetings with parents, student, admin, teachers, and counselor, and have been in contact with his therapist; he has a behavior contract with specific goals, teacher notations, and frequent check-ins with the counselor to see how he's doing.

It's much more difficult to intervene in larger populations.
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  -Anyone know someone who has been a victim of serious bullying? Locut0s  Oct-16-11 03:05 AM   #0 
  - define "serious bullying."  SheilaT   Oct-16-11 03:17 AM   #1 
  - I was your son, minus the balding  IDemo   Oct-16-11 09:49 AM   #24 
  - delete. posted twice.  SheilaT   Oct-16-11 03:19 AM   #2 
  - Me. And a couple of my high school friends.  Mimosa   Oct-16-11 03:24 AM   #3 
  - I am not gay, but I was deemed insufficient;y macho masculine by the Alpha Male Assholes  bluestateguy   Oct-16-11 03:39 AM   #4 
  - So once you conformed to them, they stopped  Bluenorthwest   Oct-16-11 11:29 AM   #37 
     - They didn't accept me, they just moved on to picking on others  bluestateguy   Oct-16-11 01:01 PM   #45 
  - Yes - anyone with an older brother.  Balbus   Oct-16-11 03:41 AM   #5 
  - I'm sorry to hear that you had such a traumatic school experience  pinboy3niner   Oct-16-11 03:51 AM   #6 
  - Every Democrat in Washington nt  TomClash   Oct-16-11 04:07 AM   #7 
  - my 12 year old has had problems all along in school.  ejpoeta   Oct-16-11 06:25 AM   #8 
  - *Raises hand*  HughBeaumont   Oct-16-11 06:45 AM   #9 
  - Being an asshole isn't a crime...  Cid_B   Oct-16-11 09:19 AM   #15 
  - That is a very insensitive and uninformed post.  yardwork   Oct-16-11 09:22 AM   #17 
     - Who else is going to fix his problem then hmm?  Cid_B   Oct-16-11 09:37 AM   #19 
     - Did he ask you or anybody for advice?  yardwork   Oct-16-11 09:51 AM   #25 
        - Hi... welcome to the discussion board... People talk and others respond...  Cid_B   Oct-16-11 10:09 AM   #29 
     - Precisely why said poster is in my RedX Toilet.  HughBeaumont   Oct-16-11 09:46 AM   #23 
        - Well, in his post he does acknowledge that he's an asshole. I quote.  yardwork   Oct-16-11 09:52 AM   #26 
           - Sad. It's called "Walk a mile".  HughBeaumont   Oct-16-11 10:01 AM   #27 
              - Guilt and regret are not comfortable feelings. Much better to blame victims.  yardwork   Oct-16-11 10:03 AM   #28 
                 - Fine.. Blame the jerks from high school...  Cid_B   Oct-16-11 10:35 AM   #31 
  - +100000000000000000  Darth_Kitten   Oct-16-11 11:38 AM   #38 
  - Yes, bullying is assault and should be a crime.  polly7   Oct-16-11 11:55 AM   #41 
  - I think 80% of the population was bullied  Drahthaardogs   Oct-16-11 07:09 AM   #10 
  - I think that your experiences is very different from that of people who are seriously bullied.  yardwork   Oct-16-11 09:21 AM   #16 
  - agreed. i don't consider myself bullied. but in middle school, there was one girl  seabeyond   Oct-16-11 09:40 AM   #21 
  - "all they have to do is ignore it and it will go away"  Occulus   Oct-16-11 11:22 AM   #36 
     - That's the most fucked-up advice ever to give to kids  Mariana   Oct-16-11 12:04 PM   #42 
  - Try ignoring having your head shoved in a shit filled toilet..  Fumesucker   Oct-16-11 09:43 AM   #22 
  - A group tried with my daughter  ProgressiveProfessor   Oct-16-11 08:59 AM   #11 
  - we had an interesting last week in HS. a senior threatening a freshman and my son standing up for  seabeyond   Oct-16-11 09:01 AM   #12 
  - UGH, the "How dare you accuse my perfect little angel" crap. I HATE THOSE PARENTS.  Odin2005   Oct-16-11 09:12 AM   #14 
     - i did a thread a month ago about son in car with this woman and her hubby, the coach. lol  seabeyond   Oct-16-11 09:31 AM   #18 
  - Me.  Odin2005   Oct-16-11 09:06 AM   #13 
  - I was a "cootie" in school in the 60s  LiberalEsto   Oct-16-11 09:40 AM   #20 
  - Right here.  BlueIris   Oct-16-11 10:25 AM   #30 
  - As a student,  LWolf   Oct-16-11 10:47 AM   #32 
  - Yes, the son of a friend of mine killed himself  RebelOne   Oct-16-11 11:17 AM   #33 
  - Me.  Fire Walk With Me   Oct-16-11 11:18 AM   #34 
  - my 7th grade was one long living hell for which absolutely no one helped me through - I was truly  Douglas Carpenter   Oct-16-11 11:20 AM   #35 
  - In HS I got called queer and told the "popular guy" who called me that to  Zorra   Oct-16-11 11:50 AM   #39 
  - I was physically abused by students AND teachers through about 8th grade.  Romulox   Oct-16-11 11:53 AM   #40 
  - My daughter was bullied from 1st grade  Madam Mossfern   Oct-16-11 12:44 PM   #43 
  - my daughter in 9th grade...five girls took her down  babydollhead   Oct-16-11 12:57 PM   #44 
  - Self-defense must be allowed  bluestateguy   Oct-16-11 01:15 PM   #46 
  - Our school went after our daughter for an off campus incident  ProgressiveProfessor   Oct-16-11 04:04 PM   #48 
  - i was bullied.  barbtries   Oct-16-11 01:53 PM   #47 
  - Me, too!  ThatsMyBarack   Oct-16-11 04:16 PM   #49 
  - Yep, usually from the adults who are supposed to be protecting you. Like your parents.  HughBeaumont   Oct-16-11 04:40 PM   #50 
  - Let's put it this way  nadinbrzezinski   Oct-16-11 04:42 PM   #51 

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