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Struggling Lower-Class Still Unsure How Best To Fuck Selves With Vote [View All]

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obxhead Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-14-11 01:37 PM
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Struggling Lower-Class Still Unsure How Best To Fuck Selves With Vote
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Struggling Lower-Class Still Unsure How Best To Fuck Selves With Vote

WASHINGTONAs election day nears, millions of the nation's poorest voters have reportedly yet to settle on the most profound and enduring way to completely fuck themselves over when they head to the polls this year.

"On the one hand, I'm pretty sure Barack Obama will undermine my best interests by maintaining the same centrist, pro-corporate policies of previous Democratic administrations," said Jim Estey, 34, a recently laid-off assembly-line worker. "Conversely, I agree with McCain and Palin on abortion, which might just balance out the fact that they'll further marginalize people like me by supporting deregulation and slashing social programs. So it's pretty much a toss-up at this point."

Though such behavior appears to directly undermine their own well-being, lower-income voters have historically supported candidates determined to screw them six ways to Sunday, including Bill Clinton, who incarcerated them in record numbers and cut the welfare benefits many depended on for day-to-day sustenance, and George W. Bush, who widened the gap between them and the rich and sent thousands of them to die in Iraq. This year's election is reportedly unique in that the nation's poor must not only weigh how deeply and painfully their chosen candidate will penetrate their rectums, but must also consider unforeseen outside circumstancessuch as economic collapse and terrorismthat might allow the next president to bend them over and brutally rape them in ways they never thought possible.

The latest polls indicate that a majority of lower-class citizens might choose not to vote at all Nov. 4, preferring instead to leave the details of how they get fucked to the moneyed classes.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/struggling-lowerclass-...
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  -Struggling Lower-Class Still Unsure How Best To Fuck Selves With Vote obxhead  Sep-14-11 01:37 PM   #0 
  - (ouch)  Starry Messenger   Sep-14-11 01:57 PM   #1 
  - For the cognoscenti--  Creideiki   Sep-14-11 02:00 PM   #2 
  - That's actually from 2008  kenny blankenship   Sep-14-11 02:50 PM   #6 
  - Indeed--who can forget this prescient piece  msanthrope   Sep-15-11 01:13 PM   #24 
  - For a sad few, their eyes will never stop twirling.  Maven   Sep-14-11 08:09 PM   #8 
  - Well, the REAL liberals have been warning us for 3.5 years  Doctor_J   Sep-15-11 01:36 PM   #28 
  - K&R  young but wise   Sep-14-11 02:00 PM   # 
  - K&R  young but wise   Sep-14-11 02:00 PM   #3 
  - I got the same right wing idiot email  undeterred   Sep-14-11 02:15 PM   #4 
  - So what if he is, so long as they're paying into it they should get it.  Sirveri   Sep-15-11 10:52 AM   #17 
     - Hey, somebody should get it.  undeterred   Sep-15-11 11:45 AM   #19 
        - I see you have bought into the RW talking points.  ooglymoogly   Sep-15-11 02:24 PM   #32 
           - I haven't bought into anything.  undeterred   Sep-15-11 02:43 PM   #33 
              - Yes and that is a justifyable fear, and all the more reason we  ooglymoogly   Sep-15-11 02:52 PM   #34 
  - Ouch and LOL at same time.  dixiegrrrrl   Sep-14-11 02:34 PM   #5 
  - That was my exact thought!!!!!!  Marrah_G   Sep-14-11 02:52 PM   #7 
  - Sadly just as true now as it was back in 2008.  slay   Sep-14-11 10:15 PM   #9 
  - I love The Onion.  Occulus   Sep-14-11 10:20 PM   #10 
  - Only the truth can be so funny.  The Doctor.   Sep-15-11 05:20 AM   #11 
  - LOL.  mmonk   Sep-15-11 05:22 AM   #12 
  - They've done it again: Told the truth in ways the MSMedia Inc. just don't get. nt  mistertrickster   Sep-15-11 09:09 AM   #13 
  - Ain't it the truth. nt  HappyMe   Sep-15-11 09:16 AM   #14 
  - Maybe that is because there getting screwed no matter how they vote.  RegieRocker   Sep-15-11 09:19 AM   #15 
  - Who will ever forget the Onion piece...  Bigmack   Sep-15-11 09:37 AM   #16 
  - I thought The Onion only did satire.  bvar22   Sep-15-11 11:10 AM   #18 
  - Ron Paul did let him die  ProSense   Sep-15-11 12:13 PM   #20 
  - "lower class citizens" --?? I think more correctly, they are impoverished citizens ...  defendandprotect   Sep-15-11 12:32 PM   #21 
  - Oh no  Hydra   Sep-15-11 01:09 PM   #22 
     - Current count is 66 million of them according to Hartmann today ... ???  defendandprotect   Sep-15-11 11:52 PM   #35 
  - "JIM" is concerned about ABORTION rights enough NOT to know which Party is in his better interests?  WinkyDink   Sep-15-11 01:11 PM   #23 
  - K&R  dajoki   Sep-15-11 01:13 PM   #25 
  - I love me some Onion. REC. nt  bertman   Sep-15-11 01:18 PM   #26 
  - I knew it was either the Onion or Borowitz  Doctor_J   Sep-15-11 01:34 PM   #27 
  - From October 30, 2008  liberal N proud   Sep-15-11 01:39 PM   #29 
  - The Onion doesn't do satire. American politicians do satire.  saras   Sep-15-11 01:40 PM   #30 
  - The Onion has a pay wall now.  harmonicon   Sep-15-11 01:58 PM   #31 
 

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