You are viewing an obsolete version of the DU website which is no longer supported by the Administrators. Visit The New DU.
Democratic Underground Latest Greatest Lobby Journals Search Options Help Login
Google

Reply #34: Most will regret it [View All]

Printer-friendly format Printer-friendly format
Printer-friendly format Email this thread to a friend
Printer-friendly format Bookmark this thread
This topic is archived.
Home » Discuss » General Discussion Donate to DU
marions ghost Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-01-11 03:30 PM
Response to Reply #25
34. Most will regret it
Edited on Mon Aug-01-11 03:46 PM by marions ghost
--at least the healthier ones will. If there are no acknowledged regrets then I would look for deep denial or depression. Being victimized at a young age and doing things your conscience tells you you should NOT HAVE to do (and your heart tells you you don't WANT to do) WILL have repercussions later. (This is why I equate it to young men who are sent to "wars" before they know what they're getting into, to kill--which many don't want to do (and afterwards feel they shouldn't have had to do, but they needed a job).

I'm not saying people can't get over it, but it may take some work. They may end up paying some of their hard-earned money to a good counselor later. Most of the women who do this are young and naive. It would be interesting to follow up and see how they feel about it years later, when it really sinks in about what they did to get ahead --not that it was "wrong" morally, but that they were used and abused and (as u say) took a huge risk. The deep-seated anger comes partly from even being put in that position in the first place.

Would be a good subject for a psych study --I doubt it's been done. I'd like to know how many women who agree to this have already been abused in their lives. I bet there's a connection. Most women don't enter into this kind of transaction unless they feel they could truly "never have paid for" the education just as your friend did. They tell themselves they had no choice at the time. But many wake up later and have to go through some analysis to understand why they made that choice.

This can only be compared to other "poor choices" that involve being victimized. Being victimized in some way --is a specific psychological whammy with typical future consequences. It's really not a matter of forgiving yourself for classic thoughtless mistakes. It's somewhat out of the ordinary. Since you're obviously a man, MM, suggest to take a poll on this of women you know & trust. Don't take my word for it.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
  -Seeking Arrangement: College Students Using 'Sugar Daddies' To Pay Off Loan Debt onehandle  Aug-01-11 09:18 AM   #0 
  - job creators  Enrique   Aug-01-11 09:20 AM   #1 
  - Republicon Family Values in action: "Pull yourself up by your own bikini strap"  SpiralHawk   Aug-01-11 09:22 AM   #3 
     - could be one of "our" job creators  Enrique   Aug-01-11 09:26 AM   #6 
  - This is a Republican wet dream - literally.  closeupready   Aug-01-11 09:21 AM   #2 
  - If you think only Republicans do this, you are sadly mistaken.  Ikonoklast   Aug-01-11 09:25 AM   #4 
  - You're absolutely right about that.  truthisfreedom   Aug-01-11 10:09 AM   #15 
     - "help out a girlfriend financially"  marions ghost   Aug-01-11 12:10 PM   #24 
     - He's kidding himself - what ever happened to the mantra that if you  hedgehog   Aug-01-11 03:15 PM   #32 
  - I saw a shit load of wrinkled Democrat lawmakers taking a trip  WCGreen   Aug-01-11 03:09 PM   #31 
  - personal choices in action. other available options declined nt  msongs   Aug-01-11 09:25 AM   #5 
  - Ah, the personal choice memo.  blackspade   Aug-01-11 09:49 AM   #8 
  - Yes, she should have chosen not to be stalked by predatory lenders  Orrex   Aug-01-11 09:53 AM   #9 
  - Any choice that she has will be considered irresponsible at this point.  ehrnst   Aug-01-11 10:07 AM   #13 
     - +1  MrsBrady   Aug-01-11 03:29 PM   #33 
  - Well...well....I got nothing. I read it all.  Solly Mack   Aug-01-11 09:45 AM   #7 
  - Still doesn't help me for college.  socialshockwave   Aug-01-11 09:54 AM   #10 
  - Look for a sugar mama  zalinda   Aug-01-11 10:06 AM   #12 
  - LOL, true.  socialshockwave   Aug-01-11 10:08 AM   #14 
     - Believe me, I know.  zalinda   Aug-01-11 12:31 PM   #26 
  - Yep. Supply vs. Demand.  HughBeaumont   Aug-01-11 10:10 AM   #16 
  - that changes  shanti   Aug-01-11 11:44 AM   #19 
  - They have male sugar babies too  Courtesy Flush   Aug-01-11 10:11 AM   #17 
  - You *could* always rent yourself out as a  Ikonoklast   Aug-01-11 12:10 PM   #23 
  - There are a lot of people doing things they don't want to do to pay for college  aikoaiko   Aug-01-11 10:05 AM   #11 
  - To each his or her own, I guess.  MineralMan   Aug-01-11 10:28 AM   #18 
  - "It worked out OK for her..."  marions ghost   Aug-01-11 11:59 AM   #20 
     - Some will deeply regret it, I'm sure. Others won't.  MineralMan   Aug-01-11 12:27 PM   #25 
     - Most will regret it  marions ghost   Aug-01-11 03:30 PM   #34 
     - People can make their own choices.  lumberjack_jeff   Aug-01-11 12:33 PM   #27 
        - Not about choices  marions ghost   Aug-01-11 03:04 PM   #29 
        - We all did stupid stuff when we were young adults.  lumberjack_jeff   Aug-01-11 03:59 PM   #35 
           - I'm not saying it is not consent  marions ghost   Aug-01-11 04:19 PM   #36 
        - So lets get rid of minimum wage laws and worker protections..  girl gone mad   Aug-02-11 02:22 AM   #42 
  - I guess it beats having 25% of your wages garnished at $9/hr.  hobbit709   Aug-01-11 12:02 PM   #21 
  - MTV reality 'True Life' showed how common this was. The older wealthy males  Liberal_in_LA   Aug-01-11 12:08 PM   #22 
  - All aspects of the "sex industry" flourish when females are impoverished.  WinkyDink   Aug-01-11 12:39 PM   #28 
  - See? Cutting opportunities and government help DOES spur entrepreneurship! This is great!  Brickbat   Aug-01-11 03:06 PM   #30 
  - The saddest part is that it was his generation who saddled hers with so much debt.  Maven   Aug-01-11 08:19 PM   #37 
  - Why is this news?  Blecht   Aug-01-11 08:27 PM   #38 
  - So how does a fat old man  buckrogers1965   Aug-02-11 01:00 AM   #39 
  - If I thought  canetoad   Aug-02-11 01:42 AM   #40 
  - Since I will not cross the virtual picket line at the HuffPo... any mention that most of the rest of  Luminous Animal   Aug-02-11 02:18 AM   #41 
  - Nope, not a word.  girl gone mad   Aug-02-11 05:10 AM   #43 
  - Do we need separate threads each time a whore turns to whoring?  Lance_Boyle   Aug-02-11 06:29 AM   #44 
     - Thanks for the  marions ghost   Aug-02-11 07:43 AM   #45 
 

Home » Discuss » General Discussion Donate to DU

Powered by DCForum+ Version 1.1 Copyright 1997-2002 DCScripts.com
Software has been extensively modified by the DU administrators


Important Notices: By participating on this discussion board, visitors agree to abide by the rules outlined on our Rules page. Messages posted on the Democratic Underground Discussion Forums are the opinions of the individuals who post them, and do not necessarily represent the opinions of Democratic Underground, LLC.

Home  |  Discussion Forums  |  Journals |  Store  |  Donate

About DU  |  Contact Us  |  Privacy Policy

Got a message for Democratic Underground? Click here to send us a message.

© 2001 - 2011 Democratic Underground, LLC