Reply #61: oh, i heard that!

[shanti]

some kids won't leave unless you make it so miserable for them that they do. my sons are all out (now), but the two youngest (21, 29) have lived with me off and on over the last 10 years. my youngest and i do NOT get along. fortunately for him, he has friends that he can stay with. the older son has been unemployed for a long time and scrapes by on financial aid at JC. he's almost tapped out there and has been discussing moving to another state for work. it hurts me that i'm unable to provide much help to them anymore, but it's just me and i'm on a fixed income, in a tiny house, and the stress was killing me, so they had to go. we still have a (tenuous) relationship however.

they're hardly the only adult kids living with parents. i worked with several women whose sons lived with them into their 30's. one woman was especially pitiful, as her son sat at home playing video games all day and was very abusive to her, yet she couldn't get him to leave. her spineless husband didn't help either. :(

sis also has 4 sons, but none of them lived with her after they were 18 as she kicked them out. the boys had lots of addiction and anger issues and she has 6 granddaughters by them but no relationship with any of them anymore.

my parents didn't have to kick me out. on the day i turned 18 i very ceremoniously packed my things and moved in with my boyfriend. they never said it, but i know they wanted me out and i wanted to go too.