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Reply #172: thank you, #23 [View All]

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CitizenLeft Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-18-11 10:17 PM
Response to Reply #169
172. thank you, #23
My mother was brown, and frankly... I don't remember her ever speaking to me about my skin tone. She never made qualitative comments about it one way or the other. That's probably because she didn't even know I was being harassed, and why, until she got that call from the school about the knife. Shocked the crap out of her, and even then, I don't think I told her the names they were calling me. I just didn't. Was I ashamed of it, or embarrassed? I couldn't say from this distance, but... even though I resented the treatment I got from the other kids, I later understood its origins, and I don't think I ever discussed it with her until I was much older. In my lifetime, I have met one or two fair-skinned black women who... let's say, relished being light, revelled in the extra attention they received from boys/men because of it, and made sure everyone knew it in a very self-absorbed fashion. It was offensive, and hurtful to others who were not considered "pretty" because they had darker skin, especially in those days. I loathed girls/women like that, because not only did they flaunt the attention they got, but made my life a living hell. I hated that some assumed I felt that way about myself - on the contrary, I've always suffered from a lack of self-esteem, not the other way around. And I spent my life wanting to get a tan, never happy about the "yellowish" tone to my skin. You're right, it's sad that we wound each other in such a way, when there are so many ways we could help each other. :(
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