Reply #57: There was been so much name-calling and generalization

[nadine_mn]

Obviously I just joined DU so my opinion matters little but I have to address a point I think has been missed:
(1) there has been a group of posters who slam other DUers for being happy that Falwell is dead
(2) there are posters (like myself) who agree that everyone has a right to their feelings & opinions, but who PERSONALLY cannot bring themselves to cheer death of any kind

I have no use for the first type of posters - telling people that they don't have a right to their feelings and viscious insults I just ignore

But what I have seen in some posts and threads (not all - just some and that is what I am referencing to) is an overgeneralization towards the 2nd group of posters in the form of:

1. stating that we are mourning his death when all we are saying is that we aren't HAPPY, we can be glad his type of hatred is gone, but not happy someone has died.
2. calling us names - trolls, freepers, etc those are the tame ones
3. saying that because we aren't dancing on his grave we have no idea what its like to be a victim of his persecution and hatred and that if we aren't happy Falwell is dead, that deep down we hate gays. Telling posters that until they experience first-hand the effect Falwells hate had, they have no right to say anything. I respectfully agree to disagree - go ahead and dance, piss, shit whatever on his grave, just don't expect me to. Does this mean I condone Falwell? hell no, just means I think the world is better place w/out him and the best way FOR ME to respond to his death is do whatever I can to counter his message

I do not think I am better than anyone, I just deal with things differently, and I respect those DUers who feel sorry for Falwell's family, because they did lose someone who was a part of their life - good or bad. I respect those DUers who are glad he is dead. But don't accuse me of not getting it. I know what hatred is - as a child my dad abused me horribly - he would lock me in a closet for days, threw me down a flight of stairs because I tried to stop him from burning my mom. But what hurt me more was that he wasn't pissed at me - he was pissed at my mom, and I was just another way to hurt her, just like when he killed her dog. His indifference to me hurt me more....and I know there are thousands of other people who have experienced similar or worse abuse. I am not trying to compare pain - but just say that you bet I hated my dad - for years it consumed me. I wished him dead (at the age of 3 I tried to stab him with knife), I wished him pain. And then I realized that even though he was no longer physically in my life he was still controlling it - he still had power over me, he was still influencing my relationships, my emotions etc. That's when I was pissed at myself for letting anger and hatred get the best of me. And from that day my mission has been to make right what he did wrong - I am a vicitm advocate, I have worked with hundreds of abused women, children, and elders.

I am not saying that those who say they hate Falwell or are glad he is dead are consumed with hatred for him like I was for my dad. I understand that for some, they took his death as a way to vent all that crud out. I am just trying to explain why I, personally, can't hate or wish anyone dead anymore...not because I don't get it, not because I hate gays, not because I think I am superior to anyone, ... I am just tired of hate in MY life. I don't expect anyone to agree with me.

What has hurt me the most reading these posts has been seeing posters turn hatred and nastiness towards each other - and in that way Falwell is still spreading his message of hate.

No one opinion is right - instead we have a right to our opinions.