Reply #20: child shame is a great example b/c young children are predisposed to internalizing shame

[nashville_brook]

young children only want what their parents want. it's all they know. you don't get meaningful rebellion until the "age of reason" which happens around middle school (ages 11-12). and, children who don't have a foundational sense of self won't be able to rebel -- they'll internalize the shame and grow quieter and less confident.

a rebel still very much wants the approval of their parents, but they want it on their terms. they want the parent to recognize their hypocrisy. the shamed child who remains quiet might actually care a whole lot less about what the parent thinks, and their adopted strategy is simply to fly under the radar. they won't argue b/c they don't give a shit what the outcome is, whereas a rebel is all about winning the conflict.