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Reply #43: I will not date a man who is capable of working but won't. I don't care how rich or attractive or u [View All]

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xultar Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jun-04-10 02:05 PM
Response to Reply #32
43. I will not date a man who is capable of working but won't. I don't care how rich or attractive or u
I don't do lazy. I'll date and have dated waiters, mechanics, bus drivers, janitors, taxi drivers, and will continue.
I've dated a Muslim a Jew an Asian white black latino, I'm not a snob nor dobi think myself too good. I'd even date an ex con but I'm not sure if a murder or a rapist or child molester would get my digits.

My problem is that the numbers of non black men who would want to marry or be a life time companion to a black woman are small. The number is growing but still small. I think living in ATL is also causing me an issue. I'm considering moving to CA or Chicago.
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  -Black Women See Fewer Black Men at the Altar alp227  Jun-04-10 02:15 AM   #0 
  - "more and more black men are marrying women of other races"  ZombieHorde   Jun-04-10 02:22 AM   #1 
  - ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS. I'M LOOKING AT BEING ALONE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.  xultar   Jun-04-10 02:32 AM   #4 
     - "Black men won't?" 78% do according to the OP.  Prometheus Bound   Jun-04-10 03:09 AM   #6 
     - You have no fucking clue what the numbers are like do you?  Raineyb   Jun-04-10 02:57 PM   #49 
        - I know there's a fair difference between "black men won't" and "78% of black men will"  Prometheus Bound   Jun-04-10 06:19 PM   #62 
           - Deleted message  Name removed   Jun-04-10 07:12 PM   #73 
              - Where on earth did you get 'callousness' from that?  Prometheus Bound   Jun-04-10 08:00 PM   #76 
     - Deleted message  Name removed   Jun-04-10 03:17 AM   #7 
     - Not to be rude and forget about snapping one's fingers and making our  glowing   Jun-04-10 04:23 AM   #10 
     - My Dear, It's No Easier On the Other Side of the Spectrum  Demeter   Jun-04-10 06:03 AM   #14 
     - Yeah, men have no desire for companionship, a nurturing home, that sort of stuff.  yella_dawg   Jun-04-10 09:31 AM   #21 
     - Men often can't recognize how society is geared exclusively for them.  KittyWampus   Jun-04-10 09:57 AM   #26 
     - Yes.  yella_dawg   Jun-04-10 09:58 AM   #27 
     - I Said Nothing About Desire--I Address Competence  Demeter   Jun-04-10 01:50 PM   #39 
        - That inability is, in my experience, a human failing  Codeine   Jun-04-10 01:59 PM   #42 
        - Quite so. Men generally have comprehension difficulties.  Zix   Jun-06-10 01:26 AM   #136 
     - I'm confused. Are you frustrated because it's hard to find dates...  lumberjack_jeff   Jun-04-10 10:13 AM   #32 
     - See above reply.  Demeter   Jun-04-10 01:51 PM   #40 
     - With all due respect  lumberjack_jeff   Jun-04-10 02:05 PM   #44 
     - I will not date a man who is capable of working but won't. I don't care how rich or attractive or u  xultar   Jun-04-10 02:05 PM   #43 
        - I wouldn't either. A woman's gotta earn her keep. I don't kiss frogs.  lumberjack_jeff   Jun-04-10 02:07 PM   #45 
        - It won't raise mine so long as you're consistent.  Hello_Kitty   Jun-05-10 12:07 AM   #92 
           - First, the post was sarcastic.  lumberjack_jeff   Jun-05-10 09:16 AM   #95 
           - Who at DU claims that "women in the workforce take jobs from men"?  New Dawn   Jun-05-10 11:27 PM   #133 
        - Moving is a good idea xultar....  RedRoses323   Jun-04-10 05:07 PM   #57 
        - Philadelphia is a very progressive city....  frustrated_lefty   Jun-04-10 06:44 PM   #66 
           - I've never been to Philadelphia---  RedRoses323   Jun-04-10 10:06 PM   #84 
        - The South is a problem  Hawkowl   Jun-04-10 07:50 PM   #75 
        - Have you considered that economic segregation plays a role?  frustrated_lefty   Jun-04-10 08:46 PM   #81 
           - Oh most definitely  Hawkowl   Jun-05-10 01:40 AM   #93 
        - Your standards are too high!  Regret My New Name   Jun-04-10 08:02 PM   #77 
        - Come out here to cali  varelse   Jun-04-10 08:16 PM   #80 
        - that is sad...  awoke_in_2003   Jun-05-10 05:48 PM   #100 
     - privileges?  Confusious   Jun-04-10 06:55 PM   #70 
     - someones having relationship issues  adoraz   Jun-05-10 08:55 PM   #113 
     - I hope that happens for me soon  IronLionZion   Jun-06-10 09:44 AM   #152 
     - great points.  bliss_eternal   Jun-05-10 09:48 PM   #121 
     - Deleted message  Name removed   Jun-05-10 11:10 PM   #132 
     - I am nonblack, I find black women highly attractive!  web978   Jun-04-10 06:19 AM   #15 
     - I live in ATL and I have 5 vhihuahuas. Send me a PM!  xultar   Jun-04-10 02:09 PM   #47 
     - Um... maybe it's the chihuahuas  SoCalDem   Jun-04-10 06:22 PM   #63 
     - i was once called  keroro gunsou   Jun-04-10 04:31 PM   #54 
     - I did not mean to applaud your lonelyness or one of its causes.  ZombieHorde   Jun-04-10 09:18 AM   #16 
     - Don't get me wrong. I date everyone, anyone who asks even I ask. But finding love for a  xultar   Jun-04-10 09:44 AM   #24 
     - Thanks for understanding I wasn't trying to be callous.  ZombieHorde   Jun-04-10 11:04 AM   #34 
     - "Mainly because of non black men don't consider us as companions and life partners."  Leftist Agitator   Jun-04-10 06:51 PM   #67 
     - I won't go so far as to call it racist...  frustrated_lefty   Jun-04-10 08:13 PM   #79 
     - Actually, there's lots of truth to that. Not racist.  AspenRose   Jun-06-10 02:02 AM   #142 
        - It's too late to edit, but I also thought of two more things.  AspenRose   Jun-06-10 09:04 AM   #147 
        - I don't know how the hell I missed this thread but this is a fantastic post.  Number23   Jun-06-10 08:33 PM   #170 
     - is this based on something someone said...  bliss_eternal   Jun-05-10 08:43 PM   #108 
     - very classy post Zombie nt  Truth2Tell   Jun-05-10 09:44 PM   #120 
        - I can usually admit when I make a mistake. nt  ZombieHorde   Jun-05-10 09:56 PM   #123 
     - My white liberal ex-gf cheated on me constantly and treated me badly so I'm available  IronLionZion   Jun-04-10 09:23 AM   #17 
     - Well, if it's any consolation.....  Sebastian Doyle   Jun-05-10 09:25 PM   #118 
     - Haha, I know  IronLionZion   Jun-06-10 09:20 AM   #149 
     - That's terrible........  OhioChick   Jun-06-10 10:58 AM   #159 
        - I forgave her when I first found out  IronLionZion   Jun-06-10 12:42 PM   #163 
           - Wow....There were other things, too??  OhioChick   Jun-06-10 02:30 PM   #164 
              - Yup, and it hasn't turned me off white liberal women either, I view people as individuals  IronLionZion   Jun-07-10 12:06 PM   #188 
     - yup. nt  seabeyond   Jun-04-10 09:23 AM   #18 
     - Your post highlights the point where cultural benefits sometimes seemingly conflict  KittyWampus   Jun-04-10 09:46 AM   #25 
     - I can't imagine how much that must suck  Tailormyst   Jun-04-10 11:57 AM   #37 
     - It is so hard. It is depressing. I'm considering moving to CA to increase  xultar   Jun-04-10 02:10 PM   #48 
        - Are you over 30?  Leftist Agitator   Jun-04-10 06:54 PM   #68 
        - I'm going to take a wild guess and say that you are not a black woman  Tailormyst   Jun-04-10 10:12 PM   #87 
        - Come to San Francisco!  AsahinaKimi   Jun-06-10 07:35 PM   #169 
        - Hey whats wrong with Seattle?  MadMaddie   Jun-06-10 08:38 PM   #171 
     - Where do you live?  MadMaddie   Jun-04-10 07:48 PM   #74 
     - good point, MadMaddie...!  bliss_eternal   Jun-05-10 08:31 PM   #104 
     - So are you saying non black women will marry black men but non black men won't marry black woman?  totodeinhere   Jun-05-10 08:42 PM   #107 
     - xultar thank you for clearing it up  goclark   Jun-06-10 10:04 AM   #155 
     - Hang in there. My Black daughter married a WONDERFUL Black man.  Raschel   Jun-06-10 11:07 AM   #161 
     - Not all non-black men are hesitant to marry a black woman  KamaAina   Jun-07-10 12:11 PM   #189 
  - You know, back in January I skidded off the road into a snow drift  struggle4progress   Jun-04-10 02:29 AM   #2 
  - lol.  bliss_eternal   Jun-05-10 08:32 PM   #105 
  - Interesting statistics.  Democat   Jun-04-10 02:30 AM   #3 
  - I know I'm about to step in it so please be kind  XemaSab   Jun-04-10 03:58 AM   #9 
     - also, maybe younger generations are becoming increasingly color=blind and are attracted  KittyWampus   Jun-04-10 09:59 AM   #28 
     - I had a long-term relationship with a professional black woman  Sen. Walter Sobchak   Jun-04-10 10:05 AM   #30 
  - am i wrong?  southmost   Jun-04-10 03:05 AM   #5 
  - It is a bit simplistic to pretend  Codeine   Jun-04-10 03:29 AM   #8 
  - look at countries in europe..black women are marrying white males  HipChick   Jun-04-10 05:17 AM   #11 
     - Well as I'm sure you know....  Phoonzang   Jun-04-10 09:27 AM   #20 
     - Here too.  laundry_queen   Jun-04-10 03:33 PM   #51 
  - I believe this is pretty much an American phenomenon, but it is really sad...  old mark   Jun-04-10 05:34 AM   #12 
  - So people who are racially prejudiced are facing fewer options in the marriage pool?  Bucky   Jun-04-10 05:37 AM   #13 
  - There can be a great deal of social pressure placed on black women to marry black men  ProgressiveProfessor   Jun-04-10 09:34 AM   #22 
  - Please.  liquid diamond   Jun-04-10 10:03 PM   #83 
  - Please indeed  ProgressiveProfessor   Jun-05-10 05:09 PM   #99 
  - true.  bliss_eternal   Jun-05-10 08:38 PM   #106 
  - Deleted message  Name removed   Jun-04-10 03:09 PM   #50 
     - I am a black woman  ampad   Jun-04-10 05:05 PM   #56 
     - To be honest I completely agree with you there.  Raineyb   Jun-04-10 07:07 PM   #72 
     - perhaps...  bliss_eternal   Jun-05-10 08:11 PM   #103 
        - I've always been open to it.  Raineyb   Jun-05-10 09:07 PM   #115 
           - again...  bliss_eternal   Jun-05-10 09:19 PM   #117 
              - I haven't limited the pool at all. At least not where race is concerned.  Raineyb   Jun-05-10 10:02 PM   #124 
                 - well, whatever you think...  bliss_eternal   Jun-05-10 10:49 PM   #129 
                 - "basically have resigned myself to being yet another black woman with no man."  Number23   Jun-06-10 08:45 PM   #174 
     - Wonderfully stated, ampad!  tango-tee   Jun-04-10 11:53 PM   #91 
     - Kick-ass post ampad!  msanthrope   Jun-05-10 09:30 AM   #96 
     - ....+10.  bliss_eternal   Jun-05-10 07:17 PM   #102 
     - ...word!  bliss_eternal   Jun-05-10 07:12 PM   #101 
     - Damn STRAIGHT...  Zix   Jun-06-10 01:41 AM   #137 
     - Well, you got me to thinking...  Bucky   Jun-04-10 10:38 PM   #89 
     - You've gotten one thing right  Raineyb   Jun-05-10 02:37 AM   #94 
     - Preach Rainey!!! I can "hear" the inflections!! LOL!!!  Fire1   Jun-05-10 09:54 PM   #122 
  - my full support and understanding to black women in this society...  seabeyond   Jun-04-10 09:25 AM   #19 
  - Black women need to be more open to relationships outside of their race.  Romulox   Jun-04-10 09:41 AM   #23 
  - How about men of other races need to be open to marrying black women?  DevonRex   Jun-04-10 10:04 AM   #29 
  - Agree completely.  Romulox   Jun-04-10 10:10 AM   #31 
  - Yep. The issue is very complex. So much so that the studies  DevonRex   Jun-04-10 10:30 AM   #33 
  - "AA women simply were not interested in me as a white man."  Leftist Agitator   Jun-04-10 07:00 PM   #71 
  - I'm open to black women, but I haven't met many who are open to me though.  IronLionZion   Jun-04-10 11:25 AM   #35 
  - Seriously, I think I should start matchmaking. :)  DevonRex   Jun-04-10 11:50 AM   #36 
  - Go for it! I'm open to DUers. nt  IronLionZion   Jun-04-10 04:09 PM   #53 
  - "they want to be viewed as available for the white men."  Fire1   Jun-05-10 10:14 PM   #126 
     - All my female cousins and sister say it all the time  IronLionZion   Jun-05-10 10:40 PM   #128 
        - That's not nearly the same as saying, black women view  Fire1   Jun-06-10 08:55 AM   #146 
           - You misunderstood me, my comment was about Indian-American women, not black  IronLionZion   Jun-06-10 09:13 AM   #148 
              - Thanks for clearing that up. n/t  Fire1   Jun-06-10 09:28 AM   #151 
  - Or black women open to marrying other men.  wingnut40   Jun-04-10 06:15 PM   #61 
  - Who says they aren't?  Raineyb   Jun-05-10 10:07 PM   #125 
  - I did just that, thanks.  AspenRose   Jun-06-10 02:14 AM   #143 
  - Yep..  RedRoses323   Jun-06-10 10:20 AM   #157 
  - but who said they aren't....?  bliss_eternal   Jun-05-10 08:52 PM   #111 
  - I agree. There are many guys that would be willing to start relationships with black women.  FLPanhandle   Jun-04-10 01:53 PM   #41 
  - Altering the natural sex ratio or polygamy are also options  wuushew   Jun-04-10 12:01 PM   #38 
  - This compares with nearly half of American-born Asians choosing non-Asian spouses.  Liberal_in_LA   Jun-04-10 02:08 PM   #46 
  - yet we don't see articles discussing that.  bliss_eternal   Jun-05-10 08:53 PM   #112 
  - I long for the day when none of this stuff matters.  Starbucks Anarchist   Jun-04-10 03:35 PM   #52 
  - that's wonderful to hear...!  bliss_eternal   Jun-07-10 06:53 PM   #190 
  - Has anyone asked those black men why they're not marrying black women?  TexasObserver   Jun-04-10 04:50 PM   #55 
  - As an adjunct they are more likely to be jobless  Cetacea   Jun-04-10 05:08 PM   #58 
  - wait...what?  bliss_eternal   Jun-05-10 09:28 PM   #119 
  - Many black men marry women from other races because they fell in love. nt  CBR   Jun-04-10 06:54 PM   #69 
  - Profound post. Just because a black man marries outside of his  liquid diamond   Jun-04-10 10:12 PM   #86 
     - true.  bliss_eternal   Jun-05-10 08:46 PM   #109 
  - I've heard many things regarding race used over the years...  LanternWaste   Jun-04-10 08:06 PM   #78 
  - in all fairness...  bliss_eternal   Jun-05-10 09:03 PM   #114 
  - Why should they - a better question would be why is it so rare?  Donald Ian Rankin   Jun-07-10 08:01 AM   #187 
  - Finding the right mate..  sendero   Jun-04-10 05:23 PM   #59 
  - I think its amazing that your example was Jamie Presley, who married Simran Singh  IronLionZion   Jun-04-10 09:07 PM   #82 
     - I have a huge crush on Aasif Mandvi  Skittles   Jun-06-10 07:18 PM   #168 
        - Oh no girl......  OhioChick   Jun-06-10 08:53 PM   #176 
           - ooh yes  Skittles   Jun-06-10 09:20 PM   #177 
  - Nate McCall wrote about that  Juche   Jun-04-10 06:13 PM   #60 
  - Honestly, as a younger man, I was too shy to ask AA women out.  frustrated_lefty   Jun-04-10 06:40 PM   #64 
  - great point...  bliss_eternal   Jun-05-10 08:50 PM   #110 
  - Deleted message  Name removed   Jun-04-10 06:42 PM   #65 
  - In defense of black men  pettypace   Jun-04-10 10:12 PM   #85 
  - All is not black and white, just a friendly reminder that there are other races here too  IronLionZion   Jun-04-10 10:24 PM   #88 
  - +1  RedRoses323   Jun-05-10 09:48 AM   #97 
  - yup.  bliss_eternal   Jun-05-10 09:08 PM   #116 
  - Less racism is good.  boppers   Jun-04-10 11:16 PM   #90 
  - Reading through this thread  ismnotwasm   Jun-05-10 10:16 AM   #98 
  - Why is it always about race? Look at income demographics  Voluntary1   Jun-05-10 10:22 PM   #127 
  - Deleted message  Name removed   Jun-05-10 10:50 PM   #130 
  - hmmmm. maybe....  bliss_eternal   Jun-05-10 11:02 PM   #131 
  - It's not really my personal experience. It's reality.  Drix   Jun-06-10 12:38 AM   #134 
     - yikes...  bliss_eternal   Jun-06-10 04:36 AM   #144 
        - I thought the same thing bliss when the poster referenced  Fire1   Jun-06-10 09:25 AM   #150 
        - lol, lol...!  bliss_eternal   Jun-06-10 07:10 PM   #167 
        - +1  RedRoses323   Jun-06-10 09:55 AM   #154 
        - Not really yikes.  Drix   Jun-06-10 10:44 AM   #158 
           - interesting...  bliss_eternal   Jun-06-10 06:19 PM   #165 
           - Deleted message  Name removed   Jun-06-10 10:00 PM   #179 
              - that's a bunch of bullshit, imo.  bliss_eternal   Jun-07-10 12:37 AM   #181 
           - um....yeah. you are.  bliss_eternal   Jun-07-10 01:23 AM   #183 
              - Thank you Bliss.  AspenRose   Jun-07-10 07:51 AM   #184 
  - I dug through some scientific articles on this, because I was curious  frustrated_lefty   Jun-06-10 01:17 AM   #135 
     - The issues are complex.  Drix   Jun-06-10 01:42 AM   #138 
        - By all means, I don't claim to understand it all.  frustrated_lefty   Jun-06-10 01:49 AM   #140 
        - there was a lot of land...  bliss_eternal   Jun-06-10 04:48 AM   #145 
        - No. No. It also comes from celebrities telling black women  Fire1   Jun-06-10 09:47 AM   #153 
        - true...  bliss_eternal   Jun-06-10 06:28 PM   #166 
        - I think there's more to it than that  mzteris   Jun-06-10 11:06 AM   #160 
        - *hug*  AspenRose   Jun-07-10 07:54 AM   #185 
        - Yes..  RedRoses323   Jun-06-10 11:18 AM   #162 
  - White wemmin also feeling the pinch as more and more white men marrying non whites  opihimoimoi   Jun-06-10 01:47 AM   #139 
  - Well, it starts with the "top kill" and then...  frustrated_lefty   Jun-06-10 01:54 AM   #141 
  - 'When you add in the prison population?'  IndianaGreen   Jun-06-10 10:06 AM   #156 
  - going to have call bullshit on this article...  bliss_eternal   Jun-06-10 08:41 PM   #172 
  - good points...  Blue_Tires   Jun-06-10 09:38 PM   #178 
     - gracias...  bliss_eternal   Jun-07-10 12:39 AM   #182 
  - I see a lot of potential for a lot of singles here at DU to date  MadMaddie   Jun-06-10 08:42 PM   #173 
     - same here...  bliss_eternal   Jun-06-10 08:52 PM   #175 
     - 15 years??!  Number23   Jun-06-10 11:58 PM   #180 
     - Thanks!  MadMaddie   Jun-07-10 07:34 PM   #191 
     - Going on 11 years with mine.  AspenRose   Jun-07-10 07:56 AM   #186 
 

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