Reply #18: Mine is a long story , everyone has one

[blues90]

I do appreciate your concern and I do not attempt to avoid it .

I have listened to many speeches , my problem stems from trust more than anything else these days .

I finally had a good job for 12 years that I lost , this was in Oct 2004 right before the elections . I know a large part of my losing this job was my nature of none conformity and my speaking out aginst this insane war while working with flag waving barbarians as well as an owner who got his position simply because this was a gift from his hard working father in order to clean up his drug and drink act , however he went too far and became a born again . Also ther was the element of a new general manager who wanted to bring in his own crew and one of his crew was working there for two years nipping for my position .

Well now since then I did find another job but lost this due to a layoff , now I find there are no jobs far and wide for what I know how to do . Since then after attempt after attempt I have found nothing and during that time something inside me has died . There is no pleasure or desire to play my guitar or build guitars and other woodworking or the other hobbies had , these for some reason bring back better times which now leave me depressed . You just can't go back , and there is my wife who cannot work to consider .

Now since all the endless horrors have been brought upon us there is a cloud hanging above and nothing sparks an interest . I have a shrink but you know how this works , it's meds and that's all .

What amazes me most is I was always strong , confident and a fighter .

Now somewhere along the road I have lost all of this .

I have always worked , not really loving any job but not to work and find most jobs will not pay anywhere near what one is worth is quite discouraging . I know I am not alone here , but each of us find dealing in a different way .

I have also been a loner and a self taught sort of guy , if an interest struck me there was no stopping me . Now there is no interest , not in this high tech world of for me meaningless jobs .

so this is part of my problem amoung others . If he work is not more than just a job what is the point and you do need work to pay bills .

I sit here and search endlessly for something to pay the bills even if it is a crap job but even these are not available now days . This area is packed with the youth and they get the jobs and have the family to help out if they need it , I do not .

sorry for the long story which is a bore but it partly explains where I am now . I could not believe bush took 2004 or this damn war continues and all the people who have fallen away because of all the damage the bush admin has done . The worst part is this continues without a beat missed . People who have more to live for than I are dying as I type this garbage .