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Reply #74: I love your story and the point it makes that love and support can help people turn things around [View All]

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laughingliberal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-16-10 06:12 PM
Response to Reply #3
74. I love your story and the point it makes that love and support can help people turn things around
I have been in recovery from alcoholism for 32 years. Through the years I have battled severe depression and would not be alive today were it not for the caring of those who could care about me when I had not the energy to care about myself. Some years back the recovery communities became enamored with the idea of 'tough love.' I understand the concept but think it is dangerous in the wrong hands. In order to practice tough love it is first necessary to love. I've seen far too many hardasses in various programs who used the idea of 'tough love' as an excuse to be assholes to people. Thank you for sharing your story.
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  -Two guys I know/knew commit slow suicide, and leave me wondering why? DFW  Feb-16-10 02:16 PM   #0 
  - My dear DFW...  CaliforniaPeggy   Feb-16-10 02:23 PM   #1 
  - Thanks for that Peggy,  DFW   Feb-16-10 02:32 PM   #5 
  - in order to remain healthy human really should eliminate these:  provis99   Feb-16-10 02:29 PM   #2 
  - It all depends on what makes you happy, I guess  DFW   Feb-16-10 02:36 PM   #7 
  - +1.  Lorien   Feb-16-10 05:01 PM   #54 
     - I'll bet that even most Puritans don't believe that  DFW   Feb-16-10 05:20 PM   #60 
  - How about no smoking, moderate drinking, moderate junk foods...  HERVEPA   Feb-16-10 02:44 PM   #9 
  - It doesn't make you live longer it just feels that way.  Frosty1   Feb-16-10 03:53 PM   #43 
  - Why is it all or nothing?  Arugula Latte   Feb-16-10 03:10 PM   #21 
  - Exercise is one ingredient all the physicians agree on is important  DFW   Feb-16-10 04:02 PM   #47 
     - Genes play a huge role in my family  Mojorabbit   Feb-17-10 02:09 AM   #83 
  - No sex? No, sorry; sex is a healthy activity and long as it doesn't involve STDs  Lorien   Feb-16-10 04:59 PM   #53 
     - Absolutely.  NoSheep   Feb-18-10 08:44 AM   #100 
  - People are strange.  Cessna Invesco Palin   Feb-16-10 02:30 PM   #3 
  - I love your story and the point it makes that love and support can help people turn things around  laughingliberal   Feb-16-10 06:12 PM   #74 
  - I'm sorry to hear about your friends. Their stories are a lesson to us all. I often  Subdivisions   Feb-16-10 02:32 PM   #4 
  - I can only tell you my own story, but see if it helps  DFW   Feb-16-10 02:46 PM   #11 
  - That's sounds pretty good actually. The biggest problem I have with that is  Subdivisions   Feb-16-10 03:14 PM   #25 
     - I'm here once a week for work--routine for me  DFW   Feb-16-10 05:15 PM   #57 
        - Brussels really tripped me out when I was there.  Solomon   Feb-17-10 09:39 AM   #90 
  - the Mediterranean diet is good for heart health  renate   Feb-16-10 03:37 PM   #36 
  - We mostly do that anyway  DFW   Feb-16-10 03:42 PM   #38 
  - may I point you to a web site that might help you?  grasswire   Feb-17-10 12:54 PM   #97 
  - Are you going to live longer, or is it just going to seem like it?  el_bryanto   Feb-16-10 02:34 PM   #6 
  - Put it this way  DFW   Feb-16-10 02:56 PM   #16 
  - It's a quantity vs. quality issue.  MercutioATC   Feb-16-10 02:43 PM   #8 
  - +1  Individualist   Feb-16-10 02:46 PM   #10 
  - If your life is unfulfilling without fat, smoke and alcohol, then go for it.  DFW   Feb-16-10 02:59 PM   #17 
  - "If your life is unfulfilling without fat, smoke and alcohol"  Scout   Feb-16-10 03:14 PM   #26 
     - His words, not mine n/t  DFW   Feb-16-10 03:21 PM   #29 
        - For the record, no they weren't. The poster's words didn't mention fat, smoking or alcohol.  NoSheep   Feb-18-10 08:46 AM   #101 
  - I don't think addicts have "quality of life"  K8-EEE   Feb-16-10 04:32 PM   #51 
     - You're entitled to your opinion.  MercutioATC   Feb-16-10 05:32 PM   #65 
        - People who can't control a substances/behaviors, let it control THEM.  K8-EEE   Feb-16-10 05:55 PM   #71 
           - One man's "addiction" IS another man's "fun".  MercutioATC   Feb-16-10 07:01 PM   #76 
              - Well maybe you have never seen an addict hit their bottom  K8-EEE   Feb-16-10 07:08 PM   #78 
                 - I have...and that's absolutely their choice.  MercutioATC   Feb-16-10 07:16 PM   #79 
  - As a former smoker (42 years) let me explain it. It's the same thing the 16 year old kid  sinkingfeeling   Feb-16-10 02:49 PM   #12 
  - Both had been warned by their doctors to cut out the bad stuff  DFW   Feb-16-10 03:10 PM   #22 
     - I think it's great you're trying to get healthy, but you still can't control your fate. You could  sinkingfeeling   Feb-16-10 03:28 PM   #31 
        - Some things you can't control, true  DFW   Feb-16-10 03:35 PM   #35 
  - I'm sorry to have to sound callous BUT  sui generis   Feb-16-10 02:50 PM   #13 
  - I don't profess to make others' decisions for them  DFW   Feb-16-10 03:07 PM   #19 
     - I'm watching it unfold before my eyes right now  8 track mind   Feb-16-10 07:28 PM   #81 
     - that was judgmental  sui generis   Feb-17-10 12:31 PM   #96 
  - Congrats on your courage and determination to employ discipline in your life  Maru Kitteh   Feb-16-10 02:52 PM   #14 
  - As Pink Floyd said....  Rebubula   Feb-16-10 02:53 PM   #15 
  - Cherry shake?  rug   Feb-16-10 03:11 PM   #23 
  - Cherry shake...  Rebubula   Feb-16-10 03:20 PM   #28 
     - Well, I was with you until the cherry shakes.  rug   Feb-16-10 03:29 PM   #33 
  - And i thought i was  8 track mind   Feb-16-10 07:23 PM   #80 
  - People do what people do -- some are changed by suggestions, others will not be deterred. . .  Journeyman   Feb-16-10 03:05 PM   #18 
  - I'm a fatalist...  ChicagoSuz219   Feb-16-10 03:08 PM   #20 
  - Partly agree  DFW   Feb-16-10 03:20 PM   #27 
     - My point was...  ChicagoSuz219   Feb-16-10 03:44 PM   #39 
        - Thanks--complete remission since late 2001!!  DFW   Feb-16-10 03:52 PM   #42 
           - That's awesome!!  ChicagoSuz219   Feb-16-10 05:04 PM   #55 
              - Thanks! We're going to try for it:  DFW   Feb-16-10 05:13 PM   #56 
                 - Beautiful couple! What beach is that? n/t  ChicagoSuz219   Feb-16-10 05:34 PM   #66 
                    - Thanks!! It's Long Nook, on the Cape Cod National Seashore  DFW   Feb-16-10 05:36 PM   #67 
                       - Cool!  ChicagoSuz219   Feb-16-10 06:34 PM   #75 
  - sorry abou your friends, but no one can predict the future....  Scout   Feb-16-10 03:13 PM   #24 
  - Agree with your last statement--absolutely  DFW   Feb-16-10 03:28 PM   #32 
  - From the day of our birth, we are all experiencing slow suicide,  Better Today   Feb-16-10 03:24 PM   #30 
  - Not "better," just alive  DFW   Feb-16-10 03:34 PM   #34 
     - I have to say  Bluerthanblue   Feb-17-10 10:13 AM   #92 
        - If you read that in the OP, then I wrote it poorly, mea culpa  DFW   Feb-17-10 11:54 AM   #94 
           - I don't agree that  Bluerthanblue   Feb-18-10 08:35 AM   #99 
              - Thanks, sentiments returned! n/t  DFW   Feb-18-10 10:56 AM   #105 
  - Maybe they lived the way they want, had the happiness they wanted?  Political Heretic   Feb-16-10 03:41 PM   #37 
  - NY cheesecake! Tell me about it  DFW   Feb-16-10 03:49 PM   #40 
  - I often have to remember this so as not to get mad at my husband  liberal_at_heart   Feb-16-10 04:03 PM   #48 
  - Dear DFW: Deeply sorry for your losses  Mike 03   Feb-16-10 03:49 PM   #41 
  - I think you hit on two of the biggest dangers out there  DFW   Feb-16-10 03:57 PM   #45 
     - Yes, I agree with everything you just wrote.  Mike 03   Feb-16-10 04:04 PM   #49 
  - I think there are facets of what we call "self-destructive" habits that we don't understand yet  housewolf   Feb-16-10 03:55 PM   #44 
  - I wish there were more research on the matter  DFW   Feb-16-10 03:58 PM   #46 
  - Kidney disease is not caused by smoking; high blood pressure, diabetes are risk factors  REP   Feb-16-10 04:06 PM   #50 
  - No, but it didn't help his general ability to combat it, either  DFW   Feb-16-10 05:18 PM   #58 
     - It wouldn't have made much of a difference  REP   Feb-17-10 04:54 AM   #87 
  - They did the things they enjoyed. They found pleasure in life. That's their prerogative.  Edweird   Feb-16-10 04:56 PM   #52 
  - Their "prerogative"?  Blue-Jay   Feb-16-10 05:24 PM   #64 
  - I lost three of my closest friends some years ago now before  Hardrada   Feb-16-10 05:19 PM   #59 
  - Definitely much of it is genetics  DFW   Feb-16-10 05:22 PM   #62 
  - I'm sorry about your friends.  onestepforward   Feb-16-10 05:20 PM   #61 
  - thanks! I intend to try, even if my genetic makeup says "no way!"  DFW   Feb-16-10 05:24 PM   #63 
     - Lifestyle is actually more important than genes  onestepforward   Feb-16-10 05:46 PM   #69 
        - Then the 30% killed my dad  DFW   Feb-16-10 05:54 PM   #70 
           - Sorry about your dad. I mentioned genetics and I have  Hardrada   Feb-16-10 10:52 PM   #82 
           - I'm sorry to hear that.  onestepforward   Feb-17-10 03:26 AM   #86 
              - He was very much that  DFW   Feb-17-10 11:43 AM   #93 
  - NEVER 'blame' a person for his own death.  Mimosa   Feb-16-10 05:39 PM   #68 
  - CORRECT  Skittles   Feb-16-10 05:58 PM   #72 
  - True 'dat  Burma Jones   Feb-18-10 09:01 AM   #102 
  - Their lives, their decisions, their consequences  MadHound   Feb-16-10 06:01 PM   #73 
  - Nobody dies...nobody was ever born.  RagAss   Feb-16-10 07:04 PM   #77 
  - Like me, I supppose.  Mike 03   Feb-17-10 02:12 AM   #84 
  - Getting some kind of help would be most appreciated. NT  Mike 03   Feb-17-10 02:15 AM   #85 
  - i'd rather enjoy life's vices, warts and all, than wither with dementia in a nursing home.  NuttyFluffers   Feb-17-10 08:23 AM   #88 
  - Simple answer. The great big huge hole that each of us has. We all pick and choose what we fill it  IsItJustMe   Feb-17-10 09:30 AM   #89 
  - wow-  Bluerthanblue   Feb-17-10 09:50 AM   #91 
  - In other words, sex addicts are just looking to fill a hole?  OneTenthofOnePercent   Feb-17-10 01:02 PM   #98 
  - ~*~  Hekate   Feb-17-10 12:04 PM   #95 
  - Were your friends happy? Would they say they enjoyed their lives?  Tailormyst   Feb-18-10 09:10 AM   #103 
  - Up to a point  DFW   Feb-18-10 11:01 AM   #106 
     - If they were happy, remember them as happy  Tailormyst   Feb-18-10 11:03 AM   #107 
  - Nobody gets out of this alive.  Waiting For Everyman   Feb-18-10 09:14 AM   #104 

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