The Rude Pundit: Sarah Palin Is a Fucking Retard

[meegbear]

(edited for copyright purposes-proud patriot Moderator Democratic Undergrund)

Forget about Sarah Palin writing on her hand. Forget about her resigning as governor of Alaska a little over halfway through her first term for no reason other than she was tired of it. Forget that her husband thinks Alaska should be its own country and was essentially co-governor. Forget that she shoots wolves from helicopters for fun. Forget all about those things as arguments against Sarah Palin when you are dealing with the people who love her. They don't care. All of those things just make her delightfully regular and sympathetically human.

See, Sarah Palin is graded on the hot chick curve. Men wanna fuck her and women with low self-esteem wanna be her, so whatever she does just affirms that she is hot and fuckable and gets to travel. If she looked like Kay Bailey Hutchison, we wouldn't even be talking about her. Palin knows it. And she wields her sexuality like a distraction while she magically steals attention from those smarter than her.

It ain't just Palin. Let's face it: if Hillary Clinton had looked like Sarah Palin, she'd be president. And if Barack Obama had looked like Dennis Kucinich, he would not. But, Jesus, you could argue there was substance there. It's a sad fact of America in the 21st-century that shallowness is a quality and depth makes you an out-of-touch elitist.

The Rude Pundit watched Palin's speech Saturday night at the Tea Party Convention at the Opryland Hotel in Nashville. He saw all of it, her hair fixed perfectly to look like she had just finished fucking Andrew Breitbart (who introduced her), her practiced folksy nasality that has become a parody of a parody, her ludicrous call to revolution, which apparently means slightly lower taxes on small businesses and war with Iran. Somewhere in heaven, James Madison said, "Tell you what, bitch, you risk getting executed by the British for a cut in the marginal tax rate on your fishing boats and we'll talk."

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